Thanks to our previous President’s excellent stewardship, things in Iraq are settling down, violence is subsiding and the country is getting back to normal, returning to it’s once cosmopolitan way.
Sigh.
Or maybe, instead, immediately following a soccer game between two rivals, one of the players was killed with an errant gunshot.
Annana had just completed a 1-0 win over their neighbors Sinjar when, as one does, a fan shot his gun in the air, or in this case, less so. “A stray bullet hit Annana player Haider Hakem in the chest and he died,” police lieutenant Ali al-Khafaji said.
According to Agence France, “Fans often launch into a blaze of triumphal gunfire in Iraq when major league teams clash.” So there’s that, I suppose.
Anyway, nice liberation W…
Marko Jaric, who we already looked at for his ineptitude on the court, likely caused by his marriage to the ridiculously incredibly hot Adriana Lima
What the fuck Jaric? First off, assaulting a woman is never OK, but when you have a SUPERMODEL AT HOME! What the hell man, how greedy are you? I can guarantee that any NBA groupie doesn’t match up to your insanely hot wife, so why even bother. You were engaged to Lima, who was an avowed virgin, so presumably you were able to restrain yourself (or banged every girl available in the interim), but now you have the opportunity to bed your wife, do so. Why stray? If you can’t treat Adriana right, give me a chance! I’m a blogger with a heart of gold and on the Internet I talk a big game so…
The hits keep coming for the uber-rich as more and more scams are being uncovered in the financial sectors. First there was Madoff, then Robert Allen Stanford and now, two men who used to own the New York Islanders have been charged with stealing $553 million from charities and pension plans in order to buy luxury items for themselves.
Far be it from me to actually accuse Bud Selig of doing something wrong, but when I 
Saturday night featured one of the boxing events of the century, although, based on media coverage no one noticed. In a 3-round match in suburban Philadelpha, Jose Canseco fought former Partridge Family member Danny Bonaduce to a draw.
I feel neglected. My father loves me, I guess, but not as much as Todd Gerleman (left) of Iowa loves his son. That’s because Gerleman supplied his son with steroids and needles in order to “motivate” him about sports. What solid parenting! I like sports, Dad why didn’t you want to motivate me like this! I could have been the professional baseball player my body is sculpted for, but NO! my father had to provide me nutritional meals. I feel ripped off. My destiny was averted.
The Slanch Report 
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