Archive for the 'Awesome' Category

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04
Aug
09

Pistons Rookie Takes on Porn Star in Epic Battle

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Basketball
Tags: , , ,

summersluxeDrafted 35th overall by the Detroit Pistons in this year’s NBA Draft, DaJuan Summers is a 6’8″ small forward who is spending the summer getting ready for his first foray into professional sports. Following in the footsteps of such other NBA Twitterati like Shaq, Summers has begun a race with a friend of his to see who can get 4,000 followers first. Not quite Ashton Kutcher’s race to a million against CNN, but then, Summers isn’t competing with a media giant, he’s competing with a porn star, Valerie Luxe.

According to her bio on Bangbrosnetwork, Valerie

has long awesome legs that leads to a full round glorious ass. She has a goddess like body that demands attention. As a radiant woman her presence is powerful and all eyers are on her. That freckled body of hers, those effulgent eyes, and full lips are irresistible.

I’ll be honest, I never thought I’d see “effulgent” on a porno site, but I appreciate it nonetheless…

dajuansummersThe stakes between these two twitter-fiends could be a bit more interesting, considering their occupations but, so it goes. If Summers wins, they go to a water park together, and if Luxe wins, he’ll take her out to dinner and give her an “amazing massage.” Seems like really, either way he wins.

I just hope his basketball career goes well, because he can’t spell for shit.


dajuansummersvalerie
If you’re so inclined to pick sides, or just want to see everyone happy, you can subscribe to Summers’ twitter feed here, or Luxe’s here.

[Detroit 4 Lyfe via Sports by Brooks]

04
Aug
09

When Do I Get to Retire to Stud?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , ,

The ruler of Dubai, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum has many investments around the globe, perhaps none as interesting as his 2001 purchase of the Jonabell farm in Lexington, Kentucky. Renamed Darley Farms, the horse-breeding operation is one of many owned by the Sheikh in 6 different countries.  A rabid horse-racing fan, the Sheikh uses Darley as both a stud-farm to other horse-owners and to breed his own thouroughbreds with an eye towards winning the Kentucky Derby.

Commanding anywhere between $7,500 and $150,000 for every successful “session,” the 17 studs regularly “work” 3 times a day with a goal of impregnating 2,000 mares a year. Among the stallions in residence are Holy Bull, ranked 64th out of the top 100 horses of the 20th century, 2005 Preakness winner Bernardini, and 2007 Kentucky Derby winner Street Sense. As well, Affirmed, the 1978 Triple Crown winner, is buried on the grounds of Darley — standing UP under a statue honoring him.

Not a bad life it seems for these stallions — most of whom raced under a dozen times for their careers — that now get to hang out, have sex three times a day and otherwise are totally pampered and have nothing else to do. Not a bad gig if you can get it.

Every morning at Darley Farms they pressure wash the mating barn, prior to readying the room for the veterinarian and setting up video cameras to record the magic. No outside photography is permitted because apparently the Sheikh is the only one who gets to enjoy horse porn. There are also daily tours available for those interested.

I highly HIGHLY encourage you to check out the full gallery and story at Wired, the pictures are great, the captions informative and, hey, who doesn’t like hearing about some horse-on-horse action?

[Wired via Liebtag.org]

04
Aug
09

WTF is Right

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: ,

I don’t have any idea what’s going on in this video, sent to me by the ever loyal the roomate, but it’s amusing and weird. Then again, I would expect nothing less from the Japanese, a people who think eating RAW fish is a good idea…

[Picture is Unrelated]

04
Aug
09

What, No More Football Phones?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Football and Random
Tags: ,

madden-10-cover-368x500Having spent several years working in the magazine industry I can tell you with confidence that the world of subscription print media is crumbling. In order to try and retain subscribers — and draw in new ones — magazines need to get more creative. So, instead of giving away a crappy fleece blanket or a football flip phone, Sports Illustrated has moved into the 21st century and is now featuring something actually worth getting; a brand new copy of Madden ’10 for the system of your choice.

For a $50 subscription you get 28 weeks of the magazine PLUS  the game AND a bonus NFL Films DVD; considering that the game itself costs like $60 you’re already saving money. If you decide to cancel the subscription early you can only get a full refund if you return both the game and the DVD, if you decide to keep the game SI keeps $26. Even still, if you were going to buy the game anyways you save a little loot, and in this economy, that’s not so bad…

[Consumerist]

04
Aug
09

Formerly Decapitated Kid Gets BACK to Racing

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports, People Hurting Themselves and Random
Tags: , , , , ,

article-1203945-05CC863A000005DC-462_468x286Now, I’m no parent, but it seems to me that if your then 14 year old kid wasnearly decapitated with what’s called a “Hangman’s injury” from driving a race car, maybe you don’t let your kid GET BACK IN A RACECAR! But then, I’m not the parents of Chris Stewart, a racing fanatic from Hampshire, England.

In September 2006, Stewart, then 12 years old, was driving a 1,000cc Mini go-kart when he crashed head-on into a metal barrier at over 50 mph. The force of the hit was so intense that his head was internally wrenched from the top of his neck. Yikes.

One of only 6 people to ever survive the hangman’s injury, Chris is now stunning his doctors by getting BACK behind the wheel.

Evan Davies, a expert surgeon in spinal injuries conducted the procedure to reattach Stewart’s head to his spine — known as occipital-cervical fusion — by inserting metal plates at the base of the skull and using screws to attach them to the spine. Bone grafts from Stewart’s hips were also used to help strengthen the connection. Ow.

“He’s the only person in the world who has survived such an injury and gone on to lead a normal life,” Davies said, “A few others survived, but they ended up completely paralysed.”article-1203945-05EF21EB000005DC-922_468x371

When the accident happened, Stewart’s mother Debbie was standing on the side watching. “I remember seeing his car going straight for the barrier head-on and then crashing. It’s probably every mother’s worst nightmare to see their child in a situation like that.”

It took over 90 minutes for emergency workers to cut Stewart free before he could be rushed to the hopsital. The slightest movement of his head, even a millimeter could have killed the young boy.

“We didn’t know if he’d even survive, walk or talk. So it’s unbelievable he’s back driving again,” said Debbie.

Besides getting to still be alive, Stewart has received quite a bit of attention, understandably so, even getting a chance to be on OPRAH!

[Daily Mail]

04
Aug
09

I’m Pretty Sure Sex Helps EVERYTHING

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Hockey
Tags: , ,

ept_sports_nhl_experts-616455336-1249323161Back in the mother country, hockey superstar Alex Ovechkin sat down for a wide-ranging interview with media outlet Russia Today. While American journalists are staid and prudish, Russian journos have no such compunctions, as evidenced with lines of inquiry like this:

Q. How do you prepare for the game? Is it true that you can’t have sex before the match?

OVECHKIN: Sex really helps, actually.

Q. Is that before or after the match?

OVECHKIN: Before and after.

Considering Ovechkin has been linked to various lucious ladies in the past, including a former Miss Russia, and Igor Larionov’s daughter Alyonka amongst others, it doesn’t seem like too bad of a life. However, it must be awkward for everyone else in the locker room as Alex “prepares” for the game…

[Puck Daddy]

04
Aug
09

Whisky Can Prevent Swine Flu?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Soccer
Tags: , , , ,

calvintrade$313175741In order to protect her citizens, Russian authorities have issued a warning to soccer fans who might travel to Wales for the Russian team’s next World Cup qualifying match. Worried about the spread of swine flu, the Russian Health Ministry has recommended that any fans who travel to the game imbibe plenty of Welsh whisky as a disinfectant. “That should cure all symptoms of the disease,” said Alexander Shprygin, the head of the country’s soccer fan association.

“Health officials say this virus is very dangerous but being a fan myself I can tell you that for a real fan nothing is more important than the well-being of the team,” said Shprygin. “Russian fans don’t fear anything or anybody so this virus will not stand in our way of supporting our team.”

Is there anything whisky CAN’T do?

[Reuters]

03
Aug
09

This Qualifies as News?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags: , , ,

With training camp in full-swing, local area businesses see quite an uptick in profits thanks to the hoards of fans who come to check out practices.

“We look forward to it every year, all the gentlemen’s clubs do, because it brings in people from all over,” Trey Maddox of Babe’s men’s club tells News Radio 1200 WOAI.

“Occasionally we actually get to see some of the players. We put them where nobody bothers them and watch over them. They get to have a really good meal and a cocktail or two and relax.”

Ah yes, the classic strip club buffet, not quite what I would consider prime fuel for a training athlete, or anything close to a “good meal,” but, it’s a strip club so I think we’re allowed to use that term VERY loosely.

“They’re always well behaved,” Maddox says. “They come out to look at the pretty women.”

[WOAI]

03
Aug
09

Oh THAT’S Where they Got the Title of That Movie!

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Soccer
Tags: , ,

Despite an incident with a fan and his overall tenure with the Los Angeles Galaxy of the MLS being underwhelming, David Beckham is still a pretty decent soccer player, as evidenced by this sweet penalty shot he took yesterday during a match against FC Barcelona.

Look, it bends!

03
Aug
09

LenDale Stops Pounding Tequila and Sheds Weight

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags: , , , ,

200908012003721805521-pf.rp350x350Tennessee Titans running back LenDale White (right) showed up at training camp having lost over 30 pounds during the offseason, coming in at his lowest weight since high school. Forget watching his diet or intense workout sessions, White merely cut out liquor from his lifestyle, in particular, Patron tequila.

“I really got to be honest,” White said. “It wasn’t a lot of major diet changes. (It was) watching what I drink. I was a big Patron consumer. … That’s what it was. I was drinking a lot, drank a lot of alcohol. I cut that out of my diet all the way. I don’t drink at all. I cut the drinking, I stopped drinking for six months.

“It started falling off.”

Now, White hopes to maintain his power and hard-nosed style throughout the entire season.

Meanwhile, as one NFL player moves off drinking, the league is marketing team-logoed beer pong tables to fans. Because, if you can’t support binge drinking, the terrorists have already won.you aren’t a true Lions fan.

tailgaitingpongtable

[NBC Sports]

03
Aug
09

Rickey is Back, and Rickey Wants to Let You Know It

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags:

ba-athletics_0500440258After getting the Oakland crowd of 35,067 to once more yell “Run, Rickey, run!” one last time, Rickey Henderson took a moment during the team’s ceremony honoring him by retiring his number to “share a little ‘Rickey-ism.'”

“It was you, the fans, who helped me run to the Hall of Fame,” Henderson said when the chant died down.

“I would like to share a little ‘Rickey-ism,’ ” he said. “Rickey have tears in his eyes. Rickey have love in his heart for you. Rickey is so very, very, very humbled. This is not just Rickey Henderson Day, this is a day for the Oakland A’s fans.”

Thank GOD! After his Hall of Fame speech where he didn’t refer to himself in the third-person ONCE, I was afeared that we might have heard the last of Rickey Henderson talk. Slanch should have known better.

[SF Gate]

03
Aug
09

Things You Don’t Hear on US TV

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports, Random and Television
Tags: , , ,

ShaneWarneMTX_468x601Australian cricket legend Shane Warne was broadcasting for Sky Sports during the Edgbaston Ashes Tests when he made a bit of a verbal gaffe. Paceman — whatever the hell that is — Ben Hilfenhaus “let the ball out of his grip as he ran in to bowl,” — whatever the hell THAT is — and the commentators talked about whether the batsman could hit the ball while it lay sitting in the grass. Warne said the ball had to cross the bowling crease, he added: “Then you can step up and twat it!” — whatever THAT means.

Warne’s fellow commentator David Lloyd could be heard muffling his laughter before being professional and regaining his composure.

I looks like Warne took the time to read city council member Bob Piper’s blog about how to sneak alcohol into the stadium…

[Daily Star]

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