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07
Dec
09

Castro Wins an Election to Rule Over Baseball

In one of the most shocking results in the history of elections, Fidel Castro’s son won a position in the International Baseball Federation. Antonio Castro, 39, is a trained doctor who has accompanied the Cuban baseball team to various tournaments, including the World Baseball Classic and the Cubans’ exhibitions against the Orioles in 1999.

Japan’s Kazuhiro Tawa and Mexico’s Alonso Perez were also elected and Ricardo Fraccari of Italy was chosen as the new president for the IBAF.

Responsible for overseeing all baseball outside the majors, the Cuban Sports Institute released a statement saying that Castro’s election serves as a “vote of confidence in Cuban sports in general and especially in baseball on the island.”

[AP]

07
Dec
09

Jarrett Jack Ties the Bulls in Knots

Hey, I get that being down 27 points in the waning seconds of the third quarter doesn’t inspire a lot of intensity, but if you’re the Chicago Bulls at least PRETEND you’re trying hard. During Saturday’s matchup between the Raptors and Bulls Jarrett Jack held the ball as the final seconds of the third quarter counted off; unchallenged by the defense, he stood just past the half-line and waited. When no one came to play on him, Jack took care of some business, tying his shoes with the basketball just chilling in his arm. Luol Deng of the Bulls apparently just can’t be bothered.

07
Dec
09

The Broncos Lose Their Biggest Fan

Every team has that one special fan that stands in for the larger fan-base, people like the Cowbell Man for the Mets or the Jets’ Fireman Ed; Tim McKernan, the self-named “Barrel Man” of the Denver Broncos was just that kind of fan.

The famous rooter made a $10 bet with his brother in 1977 that he could wear a barrel to the game and get on television. He did, and that launched a 22-year-run where McKernan, a former United Airlines mechanic, showed up at every Broncos home game in his ubiquitous orange barrel, orange cowboy hat and boots and little else. From 1967 to 2008, McKernan missed a total of 4 games, in 2007 the Broncos held a special half-time ceremony where they honored him, presented him a game ball and several other team presents.

Early Saturday morning Tim McKernan passed away of lung failure; he was 69.

[Denver Post]

07
Dec
09

Revenge is Best Served on the Ice

I knew I always kind of liked Brendan Shanahan, the feisty winger retired recently from the NHL with over 650 goals, nearly 700 assists and almost 2500 penalty minutes. Even more importantly, he retired as the unofficial career leader in Gordie Howe Hat Tricks — which involve scoring a goal, an assist and a fight in one game — with 9. While talking with reporters about his new job with the NHL commissioner’s office, Shanahan told a story showing how the pugnacious forward never forgot a slight, even one done to him as a teenager.

“When I was 14 years old I was skating in the summertime at a rink in Toronto,” Shahanan recalled. “Rick Vaive happened to be skating at an adjoining rink and we were actually in dressing rooms that were right next to each other.

“I went in when he was sort of settled and asked him for an autograph. I didn’t get the best response from Rick Vaive at that time.”

“Fast forward four years later and Rick Vaive is waiting for a meaningless faceoff in Buffalo,” Shanahan said. “He’s now playing for the Sabres. He’s lined up next to some 18-year-old kid from New Jersey. When the puck dropped, I attacked Rick Vaive.

“It was a quiet, uneventful game. He couldn’t believe the rage I had, not only in attacking him, but it took two (linesmen) to restrain me afterwards and throw me in the penalty box.”

Vaive was dumbfounded.

“He said to one of my teammates at the time, Jim Korn, ‘By the way, what’s wrong with that kid and why was he coming after me?’ ” Shanahan recounted. “Jim Korn said, ‘Apparently he asked you for an autograph when he was a little kid and you weren’t that friendly to him. So he’s harbored those feelings since then.’ “

[NJ.com]

07
Dec
09

The Saints Are Marching (Towards a Perfect Season)

Ultimately, I’m not SHOCKED that the Redskins couldn’t pull it together in order to take down the undefeated Saints yesterday, despite the game being eminently winnable, the Redskins after all have been absolutely pathetic this year. Nothing symbolizes that better than this play; with less than a minute remaining in the first half, Drew Brees throws an interception which is then immediately ripped out of the Redskins’ hands and run back for a touchdown by Saints receiver Robert Meachem.

Not only is this play just awful if you’re a Redskins fan, but look at that stiff-arm Brees throws at the beginning of the play, that’s a defensive end that Brees just pushes to the ground like he was a six-year-old child. Only one word can describe that stiff-arm, the rest of the play, the Redskins season and their racist team name; embarrassing.

04
Dec
09

Mike Lowell Doppelganger Teaches Cheerleaders the Sound of One Hand Fwapping

In Dover, New Hampshire police recently arrested 47-year-old Roy Chapman Jr, the Mike Lowell doppelganger was spotted by school custodians exposing himself as he sneaked a peek at the high school’s cheerleading tryouts.

After being seen, Chapman booked it, but police, with the help of a police dog, found him in the woods nearby. Police also found a small amount of weed in Chapman’s parked car in the school’s lot.

Fortunately, none of the cheerleaders saw Chapman who is being charged with indecent exposure, lewdness and possession of a controlled drug.

[WVCB via Busted Coverage]

04
Dec
09

SHOCK! The Yankees are Giant Douches — Even To Their Own Fans

Proving that just because they are immensely rich and are coming off a World Series victory doesn’t preclude them from being giant douchenozzles, even to their biggest fans, the Yankees have sent a cease and desist letter to the Yankees Universe blog. This is probably the first (and hopefully ONLY) time I have found myself siding with a Yankees fan on ANYTHING, but this is absofuckinglutely ridiculous and shows an arrogance that I didn’t think even the Yankees were capable of. The letter sent to blog states:

While the Yankees are very appreciative of their loyal and highly valued fan support,
unauthorized use of the Yankees Marks that would be confusing or misleading to the public, or
falsely imply some endorsement or sponsorship by the Yankees, cannot be tolerated. Although
the Website purports to be a “blog about Major League Baseball and the New York Yankees,” it
has clearly branded itself throughout with the Yankees Marks, including the Logo. Thus, you are
not using the Yankees Marks in a permissible manner but rather to brand your own online
service, and to create or imply a false impression that the Yankees have approved, condoned or
sponsored the Website.

Your unauthorized uses of the MLB Marks on the Website and in the Domain Name are
likely to cause confusion, mistake and deception as to the existence of an affiliation, connection
or association between your business on the one hand, and MLBAM, and/or other applicable
MLB Entities on the other, and constitute trademark infringement, dilution and unfair
competition in violation of federal and state law.

Accordingly, demand is hereby made that you immediately cease and desist from using
the YANKEE UNIVERSE name and the Logo, any other Yankees Mark and any other MLB
Mark in and as the name of your Website, to promote the Website, to seek advertising any other
commercial opportunities, in and as the Domain Name, and in any other manner that would
cause consumer confusion, dilution of the MLB Marks, or imply any sponsorship or
endorsement of your Website or its contents by any MLB Entity.

Way to go Yankees, this makes great business sense, why not alienate the people who care most passionately (and vociferously) about your team. After all, it was all those bleacher and upper deck seats that were empty all season and the rich guy seats were jam-packed. Oh wait. That’s right, it was the OTHER way around, and instead of courting and appreciating their actual fans the Yankees would, once more, rather cow-tow to the Richie Richs of the world and screw over the little guy. Hey Yankees fans, there’s plenty of room for you in Red Sox Nation, and we always appreciate OUR fans.

Perhaps in a coincidence, but I say not, the Yankees have dug up the corpse of George Steinbrenner and propped him up to appear at the team’s organizational meetings the last few days. Just saying, this is EXACTLY what a zombie corpse would want done…

The Yankees should be absolutely ASHAMED with themselves. Of course, their arrogance probably precludes them from feeling human emotions.

[The Yankees Universe via The Big Lead]

04
Dec
09

The Cavs Show They Can be Warriors Too

Considering most of the roster is way too young for The Warriors movie I’m going to assume that this Warriors-inspired intro was Shaq’s idea. Say what you want, but seeing Zydrunas Ilgauskas in that wig is one of the scarier things I’ve ever been exposed to.

04
Dec
09

Former Hooker is the Smartest One in this Tiger Woods Ordeal

The New York Post, bastion of all things sleazy and tawdry have finally gotten the most important voice to weigh in on the whole Tiger Woods saga; one-time call-girl Ashley Dupre.

The former paid paramour of Eliot Spitzer is spitting (swallowing costs extra) mad about all the women coming out of the woodwork to admit that, yes, they too took a drive off Tiger’s iron.

“Here you have all these girls accepting gifts, money, trips from Tiger in exchange for sex — all the while knowing he is married.

“And now they all can’t wait to tell their stories in exchange for even more money from the tabloids?

“And I was the hooker? At least I kept my mouth shut.”

It’s not often that I say a former hooker is the one of the smartest people commenting on a news story — other than when Wolf Blitzer makes an apt point — but Dupre is right. Now can we please move on?

[NY Post]

04
Dec
09

Blair Scores Basket for the Celtics, the Only Problem, He’s a Spur

Just because someone is a professional basketball player doesn’t mean that he’s mastered all the ins and outs of the game as yet. Take San Antonio’s DeJuan Blair, he forgets that on defense you’re trying to STOP the other team from scoring and decides to help out the Celtics and tip the ball into the net for them. Isn’t that sweet?!

04
Dec
09

Who’s Not Honoring Stephen Now? Speed Skater Shani Davis!

American speedskater Shani Davis apparently doesn’t appreciate when people take his otherwise rarely noticed sport and provide it with television coverage and, most importantly, pay for all his training costs. Davis told reporters Thursday that he’s not a fan of Stephen Colbert who rallied his legions of fans to contribute and support the US Speed Skating team so that they are able to participate in the upcoming Olympics.

“He’s a jerk,” Shani Davis said after being asked for his take on the comedian’s criticism of Canadians. “You can put that in the paper.”

Davis has trained in Calgary in the past and has also had multiple run-ins with the US Speed skating authorities.

Presumably the comments that irritated Davis include when Colbert referred to the lack of ice-time for the US team on the Vancouver ice: “Those syrup-suckers won’t let us practice at their Olympic venues. At the Salt Lake Games, we let the Canadian luge team take 100 practice runs.”

Colbert isn’t alone in noticing the lack of ice time.

“It’s the Olympics, the point of the Olympics is to bring the whole world together and by doing that they’re kind of separating themselves off from the world,” said rising U.S. star Trevor Marsicano. “… It’s the way it is. I’m not going to complain about it.”

Unlike Davis though, Marsicano appreciates the largess of Colbert and his audience, recognizing that without their help the team would have little chance of success.

“He’s a good thing for U.S. Speedskating,” Marsicano said.

[ESPN]

04
Dec
09

Don’t Throw it to STONE HANDS

When you give up 2 draft picks plus two players for one troubled receiver mid-season you are doing so with the intention of getting a big-time player, someone who will make a difference. Or, if you’re the New York Jets you do that trade for Braylon “Stone Hands” Edwards. This is the same Edwards who led the league with 16 dropped passes last year, but sure, he’s probably over that…




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