I never played lacrosse in high school because that was at the same time as the tennis season and also the musicals; y’know, because I’m like THE most masculine dude ever. Since I never played, I have no compunction with poking fun at those who do, and who better to aid in the process then the folks over at Inside Lacrosse who cover the college game have released their 2nd annual Face-Off Yearbook All-Name Team. The criteria to be included are strict:
The main qualification is to have a first name that no one has ever heard of. Now, the tricky distinction comes down to differentiating between names that might have some ethnic heritage or lean more toward hippie than preppy.
The name has to be unique, and most importantly, it has to have a certain air about it. Basically, it has to sound like it fits in Judge Elihu Smails’ family, and belongs in a Tuesday afternoon foursome with Spaulding and his chums at Bushwood Country Club.
Without further delay, here are the 1st team winners:
Ridge Flick — Sr., A, Air Force
Ashton Hotchkiss — Sr., A, Roanoke
Gibbs Preston — Sr., A, McDaniel
Forest Sonnenfeldt — Fr., M, Princeton
Keaton O’Hara — So., M, Bellarmine
Caldwell Rohrbach — So., A, St. Lawrence
Zeppy O’Geen — So., F/O, Herkimer
Briggs Davis — So., LSM, Middlebury
Baxter Lanius — Fr., D, Lehigh
Dayton Gilbreath —So., D, Air Force
Brogin VanSkoik — Sr., Potsdam
Brewster Knowlton — So., G, WNEC
All excellent choices, and they have a second and third team as well that you can check out by going to their page HERE. Me, I’d have made sure Austin Milton Winter and Blaze Yeager were on the first squad, but then again, I’m the dude who played tennis and then did high school musicals so…
The Slanch Report 
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