Archive for November 3rd, 2009



03
Nov
09

Erin Andrews is Back, Has Back

Erin Andrews 1Erin Andrews spent her time away off from ESPN doing something right, because now that she’s back on the air she’s in even better shape than before as this picture from a recent game shows. Is there a condition better than game-ship? Ship-shape? All I know is that everything about this outfit works for me. The sideline princess is back and I for one couldn’t be more thankful. Yowzers.

[Photo H/T Barstool Sports]

03
Nov
09

Aerial Bowfishing Down the Mississippi

After massive flooding in the 1990s from the Mississippi overtook some fish farms, a horde of silver carp, a non-native species found their way into the river and are now reeking havoc on the local ecosystem. With no natural predator, the carp have been breeding like crazy and, more problematically, eating the plankton that juvenile native fish would normally eat. Now the native fish are dying out due to a lack of food and the carp are spreading out.

The carp are bony and don’t taste particularly good, they also are full of PCBs and mercury, making them all the less appetizing. They also don’t eat flies and so catching them with a rod and reel is nearly impossible. Besides being a menace to the ecosystem, the carp constantly are jumping out of the water to avoid humans, and in the process can slam into us, causing broken bones, bruising and even concussions.

Chris Brackett has come up with a unique way to curb the population, something he calls aerial bow-fishing. Riding in a 20-foot boat along the river, Brackett notches an arrow and waits for the fish to jump out of the water, as they do, he fires and takes them out.

“For the foreseeable future, there is still an opportunity for virtually unlimited shooting and harvest of Asian carps by bowfishers, in many parts of the invaded range,” said Duane Chapman, a research fisheries biologist for the United States Geological Survey. “Recreational fishers and bowfishers should not feel bad about killing all the Asian carp they want to kill. Every little bit helps.”

While it is illegal to use a gun to fish, there are really no regulations against using a bow.  “The invasives really do present a guilt-free pleasure for those who bowfish,” said Robert Rice of Carpbusters, a group advocating the removal of invasive fish by arrow or hook. “The common carp, silver carp and now-emerging snakeheads provide plenty of quarry for most people in the country.”

Brackett meanwhile has turned his aerial bow-fishing into a semi-lucrative business, taking tours of other bow-enthusiasts out on the water, has filmed a DVD that has sold thousands of copies and has produced a bow-hunting television show.

“Anyone who would give us a hard time does not live where we live,” he said. “I foresee it being a problem for some folks, but they have yet to see the damage they do here [to the local bass population.]”

[New York Times]

03
Nov
09

Fan Dressed as a Sheep Gets Set on Fire

crazy-halloween-costumes1A bad day got far worse for one Aberdeen soccer fan who was taken to the hospital after having his sheep costume set on fire. Earlier in the day the Aberdeen football club lost 2-0 to Hibernian in the Scottish Premier League and the train was taking fans from Edinburgh back to Aberdeen.

One man was arrested for reportedly starting the fire (FINALLY, we know who started it! Someone wake up the drunken Billy Joel!) which caused the sheep-clad fan to run through the train while aflame. Witnesses said that he was running, arms flailing through the train-cars still on fire as fellow travelers tried to douse the flames with the only liquid on hand, beer. A passenger from Stonehaven, Aberdeenshire, said “His whole costume was on fire. It was like a scene from a horror movie.”

That was less than successful. The unfortunate fan is in serious but stable condition.

Being lit on fire is pretty terrible, but then, it’s still better than what most people in Aberdeen do to sheep. In fact there are TONS of Aberdeen sheep jokes on the Internet, for example:

Q: What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp-post in Aberdeen?
A: A leisure centre.

Two Dons supporting farmers are flying with their herd of sheep to a new farm.
Suddenly, the plane engine fails and it rapidly descends towards the ground.
Dons Fan 1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!
Dons Fan 2: What about the sheep ???
Dons Fan 1: Fuck the sheep!!!
Dons Fan 2: …(pause)… Do you think we have time?

Q: What do you call an Aberdeen fan with Five sheep?
A: A pimp.

[The Sun]

03
Nov
09

Chicago Cubs Owner Loves Mound Visits

s-LAURARICKETTS-largeWith the sale of the Chicago Cubs finalized, the Ricketts family are officially the newest owners of a major league team. In doing so, they made history; while older brother Tom is the leading face of the ownership group, he shares equity with his three siblings and their parents, his sister Laura becomes the first openly gay owner in a professional sports league.

Funny, I always thought it’d be a WNBA owner first…

“I think for a long time I wasn’t really out to myself growing up in Omaha, Neb., to a Catholic conservative family,” Laura Ricketts said. “It took me a while to come out to myself and not long after that I came out to them. I think that it really couldn’t of been a better experience. They were all immediately supportive. … I have been really really fortunate in that regard.”

I can only hope that this first step inspires or encourages the first active openly out player; it’s embarrassing how homosexuality is treated within sports and it is shameful and it’s time to change.

[Huffington Post]

03
Nov
09

Everyone Wants to Make This Thriller

It has become a ubiquitous Internet meme, since Michael Jackson’s death everyone and their goofy cousin with a webcam has put up their version of the Thriller dance. Guess what, none of y’all are Michael and very few of you can dance. That doesn’t stop those in the sports world from trying to get involved too though.

First off is Matti Höylä, a Finnish goaltender who takes some time during warm-ups to showcase his dance moves for the crowd. He’s not too shabby considering he’s covered in bulky padding, but he loses points because doing the moonwalk is pretty easy on ice.

Then there is the LSU Tigers mascot Mike the Tiger who put together this video of himself dancing for the Capital One Mascot Challenge. It features special effects, an impressive mascot-sized red leather outfit and most importantly, the Tigers cheerleaders. That alone should be enough to sway you.

So, which one do you guys think is better, chime in with a comment below.

03
Nov
09

An Election Day Doppelganger

It’s election day and here in New York City we are on the verge of the third term of Lord Mike Bloomberg’s reign; meanwhile in New Jersey, the competitive flame burns bright. While the Jets are supposedly from New York, they play and practice in New Jersey, there first-year head coach Rex Ryan has raised eyebrows with his over sized eagerness to appeal to the J-E-T-S fans. The husky Ryan, son of famed football coach Buddy Ryan and whose twin Rob is the defensive coordinator of the Browns  is no doubt thata defensive mastermind, but then, so was the Jets’ last head coach. The initial returns were excellent for Ryan but as the season has progressed and the Jets have been exposed as frauds the real coaching begins. I know nothing about the politics of the republican candidate for New Jersey governor Chris Christie. I do know though that his name is silly and repetitive, his parents showed a complete lack of creativity and that doesn’t bode well for his future success in the gubernatorial race. Both these men feature quite the rotund body-type, athletes they are not, and both men look like they would be top contenders in a pie-eating contest. Doppelgangers they are!

Please make sure you VOTE in the poll below and then visit the permanent doppelgangers page to enjoy all the pairings we’ve discovered.

RyanChristie




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

November 2009
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  

Categories