Posts Tagged ‘Male Cheerleaders

19
Dec
08

Chicago’s Dancers Are Super Sexy

NBA cheerleaders are generally pretty attractive, there are the classic dance teams with the Lakers, Knicks and Heat but the Chicago Bulls have taken their dance team to a whole new level of sexy. “I need to see the shirts come all the way up,” dance team choreagorapher Kim Tyler yells out at her charges during a rehearsal two hours before gametime, “Rub your stomachs! Over-exaggerate! Make this bigger!”

The only problem, this isn’t the choreographer for the Chicago Bulls Luvabulls women’s dance team, but the Chicago Bull Matadors, the all-male big man dance team. Featuring 10 men, who range in the 270-400 pound range, with 10 performances per year, the Matadors jiggle and shimmy their way through routines to songs like “Sexy Back” by Justin Timberlake. YES!

Of course, the Bulls are not the first to do this, the Mavericks were the first team to do so, and copycat teams have sprung up with 12 other teams now, as well as to baseball’s Florida Marlins. However, when I think Chicago, I think of large men stuffed with beer, bratwurst and heart attacks, so, this seems like the perfect fit.

In order to join the group all the men were required to sign a waiver and have a doctor sign off on their ability to dancing without, you know, dying, which seems like a pretty good idea. “The whole object of [being a Matador] is to be who you are and have fun,” said Al Cruz, a 5-foot-9-inch, 270-pound Chicago bus driver. “I’ve always been self-conscious about my weight. But I’ve learned to come to terms with my bigness. When we do pull up our shirts and show our lovely selves, it’s like saying, ‘It’s OK to be big.’ It’s like saying, ‘See me, love me.’ ”

The men, who earn a robust $30 and two tickets for each game they work aren’t in it for the money though, for most of them it is a chance just to enjoy the game and their bodies, after years of being teased for being so large. Then there are the pre-game activities…

“The men gathered in a small locker room littered with cans of Coke, half-eaten bags of popcorn puffs and an empty bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. They pulled on shirts the size of bedsheets, yanked striped socks over chunky calves and greased their stomachs with Vaseline–a way to emphasize their girth.”

Then, despite their miscues during rehearsal, once the Matadors got out on the floor to do their thing, they nailed it, every jiggle was hit, every shirt-raise was perfection and the crowd loved it. Seems like a pretty good way to get in free to the game. Now I just need to gain 200 more pounds and I’m golden!

[Chicago Tribune]

15
Dec
08

Baltimore Loves to Confuse with Words

Someone needs to sit down all the members of the Baltimore Ravens staff and go over some language issues. Much like Ian Roberts’ literal doctor character on Arrested Development, I don’t think the words they have been using mean what the Ravens want them to mean. We already saw the Ravens term their food stands as cowardly and pusillanimous, but say you were watching the football game and a cheerleader for the Ravens caught your eye. You saw her waving her pom-poms and instantly became attracted, to her intelligence obviously, and decided to look her up on the Ravens website. You might just find yourself disappointed, when trying to find your new lady love and instead you come across this:

Now, I love that they have a male team, and that, according to their page on the Ravens website, “The Baltimore Ravens Male Cheerleaders are available for appearances!” But somehow methinks that this is NOT what the vast majority of searches were looking for. On the other hand, look at how buff and intense these guys are. I’d make fun of them more, but frankly, they look tougher than me. Except that little guy on the far left. I could take him.




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

December 2021
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Categories