Posts Tagged ‘Fail


Soccer Players are Really Tough

Remember the soccer player who flopped when the breeze from the linesman’s flag brushed by him, well, he’s got company now in the world of professional flopping. Here the coach goes for the headbutt, fails and then both decide to take the two biggest falls possible.

I don’t understand how soccer players keep getting all these incredibly good-looking women when they are all such wusses.


Nationals Utterly Fail Once More

rosseveltI don’t know what it is about the Nationals that makes them desire to suck so much, but this team is clearly run by people who are not paying attention and don’t care. First there was the debacle with the misspelled uniforms, and now, available at the stores at Nationals Stadium you can have your very own Teddy Rossevelt bobblehead. Whoever he is.

I can see how they would get Roosevelt’s name wrong, I mean, it’s not like he was a major force in American government like Jerry Ford. This is just more piling on ol’ Teddy, first they never let him win in any of the races, and now this!

Hey Nationals, obviously no one is paying any attention to anything going on either at the stadium or with the team. Hire me. I’ll pay attention, although, paying attention to the Nats is pretty difficult… Also, what is it about Maryland-area stadiums complete inability to use the English language?

[DC Sports]


Cubs Fans in Mid-Season Form

Spring Training games are a time to relax, the games aren’t too serious and everyone is casual and chill. While the players are getting into game shape, fans need to get themselves geared up for the season too, and for this one Cubs fan, I think he’s already there. If there are classier things than wearing a girl’s Cubs shirt while drinking a Mike’s Hard Lemonade, in a can, I don’t know what they are.

As Homer Derby, who found this photo, says, “I’m really hoping that this guy lost a bet,” I too hope so. Or maybe this is his way to exorcise the Cubs demons, I mean, just look at those abs!

[Homer Derby]




Alabama Takes FAIL Up a Level

2597147The FAIL concept has swept across the internet, with iterations such as the Fail Blog, an epic amount of captioned photos, hell, even Slate has an article on it. Now, the University of Alabama Crimson Tide are using “Fail” to intimidate their future football opponents. To celebrate a noted Alabamean and class of ’49 alumni’s generous donation, the university will be officially renaming the visitor’s locker room “The Fail Room” after James M. Fail. Having served three years in the US Navy prior to attending the university, Fail works now in the financial field, serving as chairman of Stone Holdings, Inc, and Bluebonnet Savings Bank.

Now whenever opponents reach the stadium a sign will be awaiting them, putting the word FAIL right in their faces from the get-go. Well done Alabama. Sure your educational facilities are piss-poor at best, and you are generally ranked in the bottom 5 for all the states’ in quality of education, intelligence, etc, but at least, for one brief shining moment, you accomplished something glorious.


Raiders Haven’t Figured Out Scoring Yet

In an effort to remind his players of the joy of scoring a touchdown, interim Raiders head coach Tom Cable had the team practice touchdown celebrations this past week, in anticipation of their game against the Atlanta Falcons. Cable has been frustrated by seeing his team coming off the field with too many field goals and not enough TDs and so thought this might remind his players of why they are on the field.

“Now we do a thing in practice, where guys run to the end zone,” quarterback JaMarcus Russell said. “Or we make it in the end zone, as far as the offense, [we] congratulate those guys, get used to doing it. The more you get used to it, the more you’ll be better with it on the field, as a team.”

The Raiders, who have scored only 1 first half touchdown all season, a 63 yard pass were hoping that this practice technique would help rid them of their field goal-itis. Good news! It worked! The Raiders did not kick a single field goal in this week’s game.

They also didn’t score a single point as the Atlanta Falcons shut them out 24-0. Looks like all that practicing didn’t help. Now I’m not football coaching expert, (though then again, neither is Tom Cable) but I feel like you end up getting more points if you practice the actual act of GETTING the points, rather than the post-points celebration. But heck, what do I know…


Streaking Can Be Dangerous

I love streaking. In college I streaked every Thursday and it made the college experience better for everyone. The opportunity to see me naked is one everyone should opt for. Thus when I came across this video of a guy streaking a soccer game in Australia I had to post it. Nathan Roberts is a player on the Virginia B Grade team but is sidelined due to fluid in his lungs, pneumonia and an inflamed liver and spleen. During a recent match between United and Hummocks Watchman Eagles after having “knocked back a few bevvies” it was mentioned that someone should streak. Taking up the offer after $50 was offered, Roberts went for it. The only stipulation was that he had to do a cartwheel while streaking. That, unfortunately, is when the troubles began. Join us as we watch the video (taken by his sister) together in all its grainy digitalized goodness and see what happens. Like any good streaker, Roberts had no regrets, “I like a bit of attention and I’d do it again,” he said. “But I’d up the price.”

Roberts gets tended to after injurying his foot when attempting a naked cartwheel.

Roberts gets tended to after knocking himself unconscious doing a naked cartwheel. He was taken off the field in a stretcher.

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January 2023