Katy, Texas’ Summer of Fun!

“When a girl (BEEP) in her pants and puts her pants on another girl’s head, that’s just disgusting,” so says the sister of one of the Morton Ranch High School junior varsity cheerleaders and I couldn’t agree more. That was only the beginning for 14 members of the high school varsity cheerleading team who have since been accused of hazing their JV cohorts.

Traditionally the varsity team kidnaps the JV team and then takes them out to breakfast, which doesn’t seem like such a bad thing to me, in fact, it almost seems like fun! Instead, this year, the 12 varsity girls, the team’s equipment manager and of course, the school’s mascot decided to do it slightly different.

(First off, what the fuck does the cheerleading squad need with an equipment manager, are there other things besides pom-poms? Are the girls not able to keep an eye on them themselves? Also, was the mascot wearing the costume the whole time? These are important questions and I demand answers!)

In order to welcome the JV girls to the cheerleading sorority, the senior girls duct-taped the JV squads hands and then threw them into a pool. They reportedly also were “flicking [the JV girls’] body parts,” which I wonder if is anything like flicking the bean?

School officials responded right away saying “The district is investigating an alleged off-campus incident possibly involving inappropriate behavior by certain students.” Sounds like they’ve really got it taken care of!

photo_servletMorton Ranch High School is in the Houston suburb of Katy, Texas, normally famous for housing steroids using uber-douche Roger Clemens. I’m sure he must be relieved to not be the headline in the local paper for once. The school also just got out from a fun teacher-student sex scandal that came out last week.

It seems that a 17 year old went to his math teacher’s home to “download music” but instead somehow ended up kissing her, carrying her into the bedroom where she told him she “”had a feeling for him that she could not explain” and then he taught her that the Pythagorean theorem is A2 + B2 = Bonefest ‘08. YES!

The 35 year old teacher, Virginia Cammack, was busted when a neighbor saw the two embracing when the young man left and reported it to the school’s principal. She has since resigned her position and is awaiting trial for improper relationship between a student and teacher.

Sounds like quite the summer for the Katy school system. Doesn’t anyone go to camp anymore? Why are all these people doing school stuff? Get a job at Dairy Queen you lazy teens, become lifeguards, or at least spend your time making various gravity bongs and funnels, like normal American teenagers.

[Dumbass Daily]

13 Responses to “Katy, Texas’ Summer of Fun!”

  1. 1 Fred Smith
    July 31, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    Roger Clemens hasn’t lived in Katy since 1988. Way to check your facts.

  2. July 31, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    RE: Fred

    ok, so clemens doesn’t live there anymore, that’s what i get for using wikipedia i suppose. i guess the town is just famous now for some cheerleader hazing and teacher sex

    sounds like fun!

  3. 4 JoeSchmoe
    August 1, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    I don’t know why we need an equipment manager, but the mascot was not wearing the suit when all of this happened.

  4. 5 thatonedude
    August 3, 2008 at 10:26 pm

    I know these cheerleaders and I know this isnt true. The manager is not an Equipment manager (i asked them). She helps out the coach and things like that. I dont see why this is a big deal. Everything being reported is lies.

  5. 6 shatraw
    August 4, 2008 at 9:33 am

    well, thatonedude convinced me! stop the witchhunt, i cry!

  6. 7 SANDRA
    August 22, 2008 at 4:29 am


  7. 8 KaTyTiGeR(:
    October 18, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    ok,i go to katy highschool…and honestly think morton should be kicked out of kisd, they are a disgrace to the other schools…here at katy high we dont try to kill our cheerleadersor sleep with our teachers…sure we have the random pregnant chick but thats normal in america…morton has to many issues.

  8. 9 Jeff
    November 26, 2008 at 11:16 pm

    To be honest, the principle of MRHS not only deserves to be fired, but possible criminal charges should be brought against him. It was reported to him last year of that teachers improper realationship, and all she did was go in his office and flirt with him and he swept it under the rug. And now this with the cheerleaders. Come on, why does KISD stand for this. Better yet, why does parent of students at KISD stand for this.

  9. 10 shawty
    December 30, 2008 at 11:29 pm

    JAJAJAJAJA STUPID BITCHES (and i mean da ppl who are writtin stuff when dey dont even kno shit!)most of dis bull is a bunch of lies and ppl should seriously check deir resources b4 dey say sumthin. and whoever said shit bout ma principal is a dumb ass seriously. And jaja seriously a disgrace?? no comment….i kno a shitload of shit bout katy as well….and among other skools… so b4 ur gunan start writtin shit get it straight….

  10. 11 Spoocktat
    March 20, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    Was ist das?

  11. 12 JimmieMac
    August 13, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    You forgot to mention the coaches being suspended for grade fixing. The hits just keep on coming…

  12. 13 corawashere
    December 13, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    This is hilarious. I went to Katy High School, and I totally agree that Morton Ranch is a disgrace to the district. Both of my parents disliked Morton Ranch so much that moved just so my brother and I wouldn’t have to go there. And I know some of those cheerleaders and definitely wouldn’t put it past one of them. She is constantly fabricating stories…

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