Archive for the 'Pop Culture' Category

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28
Aug
08

SNL Taps Personality Challenged Athlete for Season Opener

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Olympics, Pop Culture and Television
Tags: , , ,

Michael Phelps, star of awkward television interviews throughout the Olympics, not to mention the INCREDIBLY awkward London segment of the Beijing closing ceremonies has been chosen to host the 34th season opener of Saturday Night Live. I can see the desire on SNL’s part, after all, Phelps is an incredible global phenomena right now and his presence should guarantee a nice audience from him alone. That said, he’s never shown, in any of his interviews, any sort of humorous abilities, or really much of a personality, so the SNL writers are going to have quite the journey ahead of them. I hope against hope that he decides to regrow this amazing facial hair for the show.

However, I am also incredibly distraught at the news that Phelps and my dream swimmer, Australian Stephanie Rice, who won 3 gold medals of her own, hooked up at the Olympics. The story came out while I was out in the woods and so I only just saw it today. Sure he’s a great swimmer and everything, but I thought she and I were going to have something really special. We still can, but it won’t ever be the same…

Also, one more reason to watch the SNL premier will be the debut of one of the funniest and nicest people I have ever known, SNL’s newest cast member and fellow improviser, Bobby Moynihan.

For some of the best athlete hosted sketches on SNL ever, check out this link from Fan IQ.

06
Aug
08

Tom Brady Has Flaws!

By slanch 4 Comments
Categories: Football and Pop Culture
Tags: , , ,

Yesterday’s afternoon practice for the Patriots was missing a key component of the franchise’s past and future success, one Thomas Edward Brady. It seems Brady left early so he and my future girlfriend Gisele could head over to Garden to take in a Coldplay concert. Brady is a big fan of the band, he has an Itunes playlist for example that starts off with Coldplay’s “Speed of Sound” and the feeling is mutual as, for their final song of the evening they dedicated their song to him. “I don’t want to do this really because it’s cheesy . . . but we’re great fans of his and he’s probably left the building anyway,” said Chris Martin, “We’d like to dedicate this to Tom Brady – your quarterback. We’re big fans of his and very honored he came to the show, and I hope to goodness it was worth it.” Martin then went on to mess up the lyrics to his own song, so that’s something.

Now, I love Tom Brady, he’s a football god and as a person he seems pretty down to earth and awesome as well, but c’mon, Coldplay!?! Couldn’t you like a group just slightly cooler? Or is this just me, and everyone else in the world thinks Coldplay is awesome? However, if Tom has any non-ironic Gloria Estefan songs on his Ipod it might be all over between us. I just always thought of Brady as a man’s man but when he says things like how he can be caught “patiently waiting for every album. Each has been better than the last,” I find myself wanting to find a new QB, I’m gonna cut him some slack for now and assume that he just went because Gisele wanted to. But you’re on thin ice Tom!

05
Aug
08

Punter Kicks Crap out of Video Game

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football and Pop Culture

Being a pro football player is cool and all, but Chris Kluwe is the punter on the Minnesota Vikings so, you know, he’s not THAT cool. When he’s not being pushed around by the bigger boys on the team or getting ready for the 5 plays a game he’ll be involved in, Kluwe has another skill, one that doesn’t translate too much onto the field, he’s an incredible Guitar Hero player.

Kluwe believes he’s one of the top 100 players in the world on the game; among his exploits are having beaten the Guiness World Record holder and getting picked up by Activision (the game’s manufacturer) to play as a ringer in a contest the company held.

Joe Knapp, a Vikings fan and patron at the restaurant where Kluwe was “rocking out” the other day for the article, was definitely impressed by Kluwe’s prowess. “I’ve actually been to some tournaments at the malls and stuff like that. I’ve never seen anybody that good, that quick. A lot of people have trouble playing on medium or hard. He’s playing on expert. For a guy that basically has a full-time job (with the Vikings), that’s pretty impressive.” Knapp than admitted that he can’t get past the easy level and broke down in tears describing the Guitar Hero tournaments at the local Gamestop as the greatest moments of his life and something about how he’ll never know such happiness again.

Continue reading ‘Punter Kicks Crap out of Video Game’

31
Jul
08

Freddie Prinz Jr. Finally Finds Work!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Other Sports, Pop Culture and Random
Tags: , , ,

At long last the ultimate combination of sports and entertainment has merged, Freddie Prinz Jr. or Mr. Sarah Michelle Gellar has joined the WWE’s creative team. According to a statement from WWE, “Bringing on board an experienced Hollywood writer, actor and producer like Freddie Prinze, Jr. will only increase the level of entertainment to millions of viewers and passionate WWE fans every Monday on USA.” A quick look at his IMDB page shows that he is credited with writing 22 episodes of that hit show, Freddie, that no one ever watched. Oh, he also wrote one episode of Mutant X, now THOSE are writer credentials! It must be nice to be famous and the son of an even more famous person, because otherwise you might have to actually accomplish things on your own, instead everything is just handed to you.

“Freddie Prinze, Jr.’s passion, energy and creativity make him an excellent fit for WWE,” said WWE Chairman Vince McMahon. McMahon then explained that Prinz’s work in the Julia Stiles vehicle Down to You really put him up over the top.

I’m really just amazed that Prinz was even available to be doing this, I mean, with the talent and range he showed in Summer Catch and She’s All That, I would have thought Hollywood to be CONSTANTLY beating down his door.

[Awful Announcing]

21
Jul
08

Everybody Get Your Nipples Oiled and Ready!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Pop Culture, Random and Television
Tags: , , , ,

In an extremely rare moment of government, the right thing was actually done earlier today. A federal appears court in Philadelphia today threw out the $550,000 indecency fine that the FCC leveled against CBS from the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show.

For once, reason and common sense came out, I for one am shocked, I’m worried this might be a sign of the coming apocalypse. The three-judge panel determined that the FCC “acted arbitrarily and capriciously” for issuing a fine for the brief image of Janet Jackson’s nipple ring.

The ruling found that the FCC abandoned its 30-year practice of fining broadcasters only when it was “pervasive as to amount to ‘shock treatment’ for the audience. Like any agency, the FCC may change its policies without judicial second-guessing. But it cannot change a well-established course of action without supplying notice of and a reasoned explanation for its policy departure.”

This means that the Republican FCC can no longer capriciously decide for the rest of America when something is offensive. The ruling shows that the government overreacted, of course, since the networks got so scared by the fine in the first place, it is probably already too late, the damage has been done. Now there is no such thing as live television anymore, with everything on a delay just in case a scary stray nipple makes an appearance. So it goes I suppose, but at least the right thing was done today, I guess after 7.5 years the government had to do SOMETHING right, I mean, sheer probability would dictate that…

Stick around after the jump for the NSFW image that launched the hooplah in the first place. Continue reading ‘Everybody Get Your Nipples Oiled and Ready!’

15
Jul
08

Sad News for Pitching Rotations Across the Game

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball, Hot Women and Pop Culture
Tags: , , ,

Alyssa Milano, after meeting me the other day, has decided she is no longer interested in dating professional baseball players saying, “they are grown men playing a little boy’s sport. That makes them childish.”

After having dated pitchers such as Barry Zito, Brad Penny and Carl Pavano, she is content now with her mystery man, a gentleman known only as “David.”

Is it possible I’m dating Alyssa Milano and didn’t even remember?

I have got to lay off the drugs.

[Baseball Musings]


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Continue reading ‘Sad News for Pitching Rotations Across the Game’

14
Jul
08

The Single Best Part of the All Star Fanfest

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Baseball, Hot Women and Pop Culture
Tags: , ,

At MLB’s All Star Fan Fest on Sunday there was one line that was worth waiting on, and the swarming crowds proved that to be true.

What baseball celebrity could inspire such devotion, such eager excitement from fans?

Hank Aaron?

Willie Mays?

Bill Pulsipher?

What baseball celebrity requires an intense state police escort?

What baseball celebrity inspires crowds to go Beatles-on-Ed-Sullivan nuts in sheer desperation to snatch a photo?

Of course, it was none other than that noted “catcher” of star pitchers, Alyssa Milano!

I’m pretty sure she fell totally in lust with me. I mean, look at the way she autographed this photo, that heart swoop MEANS something. It has to…


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09
Jul
08

Friday Night Lights Cuts Street and Smash

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Pop Culture and Television
Tags: , , , , ,

Friday Night Lights had one of the greatest first seasons in television. The show was awesome, every episode felt real and earned, and other than that every time the team won they did so in incredible fashion, it had nearly no flaws. The second season was a disappointment, with NBC execs meddling and trying to change the show into some Gossip Girl shlock that simply didn’t fit with the show’s vibe. Fortunately the show was saved, and will return for a 3rd season in the fall and until it proves it no longer is good, I am counting on you out there to watch it, so that I may continue watching it.

Alas, according to Entertainment Weekly, the show will be returning without two of it’s stars and more compelling characters, Jason Street and Smash Williams. Street was the star quarterback who was paralyzed in the first episode and Smash was the star, cocky running back. Sure, Tim Riggins will return to drink and chase chicks, and for that I am thankful, but the loss of Jason Street, whose subplot was one of the most compelling on the show, and the large personality of Smash will be sorely missed. Both characters will apparently be given 4 episode arcs to close their stories which is nice, but means that the show better find some suitable replacements. I just hope they don’t do some stupid casting and just remake the characters with new younger actors.

Season 3 will be on a short leash for me, if the show returns to it’s beginnings and takes away the teeny-bopper crap, then it should be just as good as ever, after all, all the Taylors are returning…

Also fortunate, the show is retaining it’s most important assets, the fine trio of Amy Teagarden, Minka Kelly and Adrian Palicki:

08
Jul
08

Baseball Fans/Baby Fetishists Rejoice

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball, Boston and Pop Culture
Tags: , , , , ,

I know that, like most of America, you were sitting around over the holiday weekend, watching a baseball game and thinking to yourself, “Sure, these professional baseball players look good now, but I’d really much prefer to see them in their infancy stages, to appreciate them better.” Well, good news!

From the press release:

Team Baby Entertainment, the premier producer of an award winning series of officially licensed sports themed children’s DVDs, has teamed up with Topps, the leading creator and marketer of sports cards to distribute limited edition trading cards featuring photos of favorite MLB players when they were babies. This is the first time ever that MLB players have lent their baby photos to be featured on Topps cards, making them instant collectibles.

For example, here is David “Big Papi” Ortiz in a young larvae phase. As a Sox fan, this is a MUST HAVE, I mean, it’s David Ortiz as a child! I would also like to have a copy of Manny Ramirez’ childhood physicals, Dustin Pedroia’s letters to the tooth fairy and if possible, Josh Beckett’s jammy-jams booty pajama’s, especially if they were the same dope superhero ones that I had.

Among the other players who will have their baby pictures used include the Yankees’ Johnny Damon, David Wright of the Mets and Dodgers catcher Russell Martin.

I just know fans across the country will soon be clamoring for more teams and players to be represented baby-style, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Adam Dunn with tapioca smeared across his infant face.

03
Jul
08

ID4: Are You Brave Enough to Listen?

By slanch 7 Comments
Categories: Bill Pullman, Conspiracies, Jeff Goldblum and Pop Culture
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

It being the July 4th weekend, I thought it only apropos to repost what was the our first blog entry. I just hope that, as we celebrate Independence Day, we can remember the lessons that Independence Day was trying to teach us. We will not go quietly into the night.

________

Despite being panned by critics, audiences flocked to see Roland Emmerich’s newest opus, 10,000 BC, and I think I know why.

In 1996, Emmerich directed one of the finest action movies of all-time, Independence Day. More than just a movie, this film was a prognosticator of the future.

If only we had been listening.

Three different, very clear messages were placed in this movie. The first, seen here, is taken from the moment when Jeff Goldblum’s character explains to the President the idea of “line-of-sight” and how satellites work.

Notice the drawing that Goldblum does, look familiar? Maybe that’s because it looks awfully congruent to THIS!

Eerily similar no?
Now a random image in a movie is one thing, merely coincidence, but only moments later, after convincing the President that the time to leave is now, Goldblum and Pullman exit with others onboard Marine One. As they take off, Goldblum pulls out his handy mid-90’s Mac Powerbook and looks at the countdown timer…

Now its starting to get a little bit more real, you’re starting to feel that tingle up your spine… Continue reading ‘ID4: Are You Brave Enough to Listen?’

26
Jun
08

Showing One’s Butt is MY Talent Too!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Hot Women, Pop Culture, Random and Tennis
Tags: , , , ,

Amanda Holden is apparently a judge on Brits Have Talent, a show that I can only imagine is filled with epic performances of people singing old Eton songs, stuffing their faces with scones and of course a guy who can say “quite” 1000 times in a minute. But I’m getting off my point.

In the 1970s photographer Martin Elliott took what became an iconic poster of a woman playing tennis sans the appropriate undergarments of a genteel lady. Since I ain’t genteel, I like the original picture. Holden recently posed for some photos recreating the famous poster, although she chose to be a bit more demure than the original.

Holden isn’t the hottest but for a woman in her late 30s she’s pretty decent, and really this is just an excuse for me to post the original photograph below. First is the original and then the new Holden version, obviously one is better than the other… However, check out a couple more from the shoot that are a bit better after the jump including a tasteful eating strawberries pick and a hint of camel-toe.

[Floockers]

Continue reading ‘Showing One’s Butt is MY Talent Too!’

24
Jun
08

As Long As We’ve Got Each Other

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Hockey, Pop Culture and Random
Tags: , , , ,

Sure the hockey season is now over, and all 35 hockey fans are totally saddened by that. However, today we bring you a fine hockey video that is notable. The reason for that is because this is from the Blues fanfest held sometime during the season which featured a “celebrity” hockey game. With the game down to penalty shots, the Yellow team turned their lonely eyes to a man who wanted to show them his smile again; that man, Growing Pains dad Alan Thicke.

Sure he’s not super slick on the skates, and his triple deke move left a lot to be desired, but c’mon, it’s Alan Thicke! After all, he did help raise Kirk Cameron into a fine young gentleman and there isn’t a price that can be put on that. Plus he takes the net out but managed to get the shot in goal before he did so, that’s a skill move. Finally, it’s hard to hear, but after he scores they play the Growing Pains theme song which is one of the best of all time. So, all in all, a highly worthy clip for his resume in the TV dad Hall-of-Fame.

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