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03
Aug
09

LenDale Stops Pounding Tequila and Sheds Weight

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags: , , , ,

200908012003721805521-pf.rp350x350Tennessee Titans running back LenDale White (right) showed up at training camp having lost over 30 pounds during the offseason, coming in at his lowest weight since high school. Forget watching his diet or intense workout sessions, White merely cut out liquor from his lifestyle, in particular, Patron tequila.

“I really got to be honest,” White said. “It wasn’t a lot of major diet changes. (It was) watching what I drink. I was a big Patron consumer. … That’s what it was. I was drinking a lot, drank a lot of alcohol. I cut that out of my diet all the way. I don’t drink at all. I cut the drinking, I stopped drinking for six months.

“It started falling off.”

Now, White hopes to maintain his power and hard-nosed style throughout the entire season.

Meanwhile, as one NFL player moves off drinking, the league is marketing team-logoed beer pong tables to fans. Because, if you can’t support binge drinking, the terrorists have already won.you aren’t a true Lions fan.

tailgaitingpongtable

[NBC Sports]

03
Aug
09

Rickey is Back, and Rickey Wants to Let You Know It

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags:

ba-athletics_0500440258After getting the Oakland crowd of 35,067 to once more yell “Run, Rickey, run!” one last time, Rickey Henderson took a moment during the team’s ceremony honoring him by retiring his number to “share a little ‘Rickey-ism.'”

“It was you, the fans, who helped me run to the Hall of Fame,” Henderson said when the chant died down.

“I would like to share a little ‘Rickey-ism,’ ” he said. “Rickey have tears in his eyes. Rickey have love in his heart for you. Rickey is so very, very, very humbled. This is not just Rickey Henderson Day, this is a day for the Oakland A’s fans.”

Thank GOD! After his Hall of Fame speech where he didn’t refer to himself in the third-person ONCE, I was afeared that we might have heard the last of Rickey Henderson talk. Slanch should have known better.

[SF Gate]

03
Aug
09

Things You Don’t Hear on US TV

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports, Random and Television
Tags: , , ,

ShaneWarneMTX_468x601Australian cricket legend Shane Warne was broadcasting for Sky Sports during the Edgbaston Ashes Tests when he made a bit of a verbal gaffe. Paceman — whatever the hell that is — Ben Hilfenhaus “let the ball out of his grip as he ran in to bowl,” — whatever the hell THAT is — and the commentators talked about whether the batsman could hit the ball while it lay sitting in the grass. Warne said the ball had to cross the bowling crease, he added: “Then you can step up and twat it!” — whatever THAT means.

Warne’s fellow commentator David Lloyd could be heard muffling his laughter before being professional and regaining his composure.

I looks like Warne took the time to read city council member Bob Piper’s blog about how to sneak alcohol into the stadium…

[Daily Star]

03
Aug
09

Yankees Go Green With Envy

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball and Douches
Tags: , , ,

Carl Pavano was so ineffectual and rarely seen on the field for the New York Yankees that the team’s DL became derisively known as the “Pavano.” In 4 seasons as a Yankee, Pavano won a grand total of 9 games, meaning that the Yanks effectively paid him $4+ million per win. This season, after signing a 1-year $1.5 million contract with the Indians, Pavano has already won 9 games this season, in 20 less innings than he threw over the course of Yankees tenure.

The Yankees clearly are disappointed, so much so they’ve gone green with envy — or at least their old home has. The destruction of the old Yankee Stadium is taking a little while, and in the meantime, nature has weeded her way back in. Where once fat, obnoxious, disgusting New York Yankees fans bellowed and hollered, now weeds, vines and other fauna are working their way through the concrete.

4853242

[WCBS]

31
Jul
09

You Wouldn’t Hit a Girl Would You?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , ,

SNN2015FRK-280_848885aWhen Rickey “The Hitman” Hatton trains for a fight, he calls on a 20-year boxing veteran by the name of Rob Newbiggin to spar with, at least, for now. Later this month Newbiggin will appear in his final male professional fight before beginning the process of becoming a woman by the name of Mercedes.

After the various operations and such, Newbiggin intends to apply for a female license from the Boxing Board to continue his trade. Married with three kids, Newbiggin, 44, has jousted in both the featherweight and super-middleweight classes. His wife Emma, 27, and children are standing by him, unlike his friends and neighbors.

I have lost every friend I have ever had in this town. I’ve got people winding car windows down shouting abuse at me on my daily run. But Emma has been my rock. She understands what I’m going through and we are going to stay together. At the end of all this, I will be the woman I want to be. While I am going through the transformation, my kids will not see me as Mercedes. But it doesn’t matter in the end whether I’m a mother or a father, as long as I’m a good parent.

I love it, I mean, I don’t exactly see this dude as being a particularly attractive chick, but he’s already married so, it’s not like he’s hitting the bar scene. And besides, Mercedes Newbiggin is a totally great name!

[Daily Star]

31
Jul
09

HEAD! MOVE!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, People Hurting Themselves and Soccer
Tags:

I definitely had this happen to me a couple dozen times as a kid. Of course, you wouldn’t know it talking to me. Bumper cars gogglegoth blopker.

This video never stops being funny to me.

[With Leather]

31
Jul
09

Bat Man Takes in a Bisons/PawSox Game

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

batbatcrowdDespite having gone to many baseball games I have never caught a foul ball. Not since a Little League game have I managed to snag one, I was close twice, but never close enough. I’ve certainly never been in a good enough spot to score a bat if one of the hitters accidentally let loose. I would be way WAY more psyched to get a bat than a ball. Plus, catching a bat is about 78% more bad-ass.

However, the Erie County Health Department is trying to find an as yet unknown fan who caught a live bat at a AAA game between the Buffalo Bisons and Pawtucket Red Sox. During Tuesday’s game the man reached out and snagged the nominally nocturnal creature, much to the chagrin of some health department employees who were also in the stands.

The brave fan released the bat after holding it for a brief time.

[Newsday]

31
Jul
09

Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Soccer
Tags: , , ,

Athletes are always taught to play until the whistle, what happens when the referee falls and can’t whistle? Japanese soccer team Sagan Tosu found out the hard way.

Deep in Sagan’s zone, Kim Tae-yeon, playing for Mito Hollyhock — it feels almost silly having to say that considering the HUGE Japanese soccer fans that visit — ignored the referee tripping over himself and scored a nifty goal. The Sagan players were more sensitive to the plight of the official, to their detriment.

Let this be a lesson to the kids out there. Damn the man.

[Sports Rubbish]

31
Jul
09

When Life Hands You Lemons

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Hockey
Tags: , ,

When true love comes along, if you’re smart, you lock it down and put a ring on it. Alas, for one Pittsburgh resident, that plan didn’t go too well. “Scott” put this ad up on the Pittsburgh’s Craigslist barter board:

Markee cut with 12 little diamonds,Appraised @ 2,500,will take a 1,000 cash or
1,500 dollars worth of penguins tickets must be good seats

engagementrings

Even after crawling through a river of shit, Scott is able to look forward to watching the reigning Stanley Cup champions; he’s a pillar of strength for all men who go through hard times. Scott may have lost the girl he loved, but he still has his team. They’ll get him through this; but don’t get ridiculous, he still wants “good seats.”

Go get ’em buddy, you deserve it!

and in case the link gets taken down, I have a screenshot of it here.

31
Jul
09

Jose Rijo Finds a New Career Path

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball and Poor Governing
Tags: , ,

jose_rijoSo, what path do you take if you are fired from your last job for suspected fraud and a series of irregularities? If you’re former major leaguer and then former Washington Nationals executive Jose Rijo, you turn to politics. Which, I suppose makes sense, if you’re already used to shaking down baseball prospects it’s a relatively easy step up to fleecing an entire city.

Formerly serving in the front-office of the Nationals, with responsibilities including over-seeing the team’s Dominican academy — out of which came a prospect with a forged identity and a series of questions regarding skimming of bonuses from player — Rijo was less than stellar and canned by the team in an attempt to avoid further (legal) problems.

Rijo is now running to become the mayor of his Dominican hometown, San Cristobal where he campaigns door-to door nearly every day. “Here [in the US], he’s been somewhat humiliated,” a source close to Rijo said, “but down there [in the Domincan] he’s still like the Godfather, larger than life.”

Raul_Mondesi_0001The competition to become mayor though will be tough as Rijo faces off against another former big leaguer, none other than Raul Mondesi!

God, I hope they hold dozens of debates and they are all televised. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. And, in case you were wondering, for his career, Mondesi went 3-9 against Rijo with a double and 3 punchados.

[Washington Post]

30
Jul
09

eBay Really Does Have Everything

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Soccer
Tags: , ,

_44936633_tranmere_226The Tranmere Rovers, who reside in Prenton area of Birkenhead, England play in League One, two divisons down from the English Premier League and are currently for sale. Club Chairman Peter Johnson however is none too pleased for the manner in which the sale is being handled. He awoke yesterday to find out that Dornoch Capital, the US firm he had hired to facilitate the sale had placed the team on eBay with a starting bid of $10m.

We were appalled,” Johnson told BBC Radio Merseyside.

It’s totally inappropriate. We immediately e-mailed them and said ‘take it off right away’. You can imagine how shocked we were to wake up this morning to find out we were on eBay. We’ll be considering [Dornoch Capital’s] mandate. It’s not a second-hand bike we’re selling.

I don’t think we want this sort of publicity and I think a lot of people knew it was for sale because the local paper mentioned it at the beginning of last season.

If they can find the right buyer then he can take over at Tranmere but its got to be the right buyer and I don’t think putting it on eBay is going to find the right buyer.

Interesting about the Rovers, they are also nicknamed the Super Whites, leading their fans to call themselves the Super White Army, which isn’t terrifying in any way…

[BBC Sports]

30
Jul
09

I Have GOT to Get Rich

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Hot Women, Other Sports, Random and Soccer
Tags: , , , ,

article-1203217-05E4694B000005DC-747_224x600article-1203217-05E4693B000005DC-973_224x600Flavio Briator is a 59 year old Italian billionaire who made much of his money from the franchising of Benneton stores spends much of his time these days involved in various sports. He is the managing director of Renault F1 racing and also is part owner of the Queen’s Park Rangers, a London-based soccer team that just missed on promotion to the Premier League last season.

He also looks like this (left). Last year he married 29 year old Elisabetta Gregoraci. She looks like this (right). He must be really funny. Or you know, crazy rich.

Sigh. I bet being a billionaire is pretty fun.

[Daily Mail]

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