Archive for April, 2009



16
Apr
09

Learn His Name Before Hiring

If you’re Florida International University and you’ve just made the questionable choice of the man who destroyed the Knicks (and the CBA and Toronto Raptors) as your new head coach, don’t you think you should take some time to figure out his name? Especially if you are hiring someone whose previous employers were forced to pay out $12 million in a sexual harassment suit caused by that multiple time failure and you intend to surround the perpetrator with deliciously nubile college co-eds.

So it was a bit surprising when FIU’s Provost Ronald Berkman introduced Isiah Thomas as Isiah Thompson, TWICE. This despite the big placard with Thomas’ name correctly listed in front of the coach and the fact that the university has signed Thomas to a 5-year $5 million contract. It’s a good sign that the university is wisely spending their money. Sure, Isiah is returning his first year salary to the university as a sign of good-will, but that is made easier since the Knicks still owe him over $12 million, so it’s not as though he’s struggling.

“‘The importance of this hiring for FIU is not for the basketball program, not for athletics, but for FIU,” Pete Garcia, the FIU Athletic Director said. “It’s a landmark day in our history.”

[Miami Herald]

15
Apr
09

Happy Jackie Robinson Day!

Overheard from the roomate:

If you went to the ballgame today with the intention of keeping score, get ready for a super-frustrating game!

15
Apr
09

Cooley is Ready for His Close-Up

I’m not one for reality shows, and usually the ones about athletes are boring and uninteresting but an upcoming web-based show around Washington Redskins tight end Chris Cooley seems like it could be somewhat entertaining. At least briefly. I mean, it starts with a near-naked photo of Cooley and his wife, Christy a former Redskins cheerleader so there’s that at least.

cooleyandwife

The rest of the show seems like pretty standard fare, star-athlete-is-like-normal-guy-only-with-lots-of-money type skein, I doubt it reaches wide-spread popularity, but who knows, anything could happen.

[Fan IQ]

15
Apr
09

Bellamy Gets Elected to Rock ‘N’ Jock Basketball HoF

The Onion is always good, but sometimes they just knock it out of the park, like in this article from which I will quote liberally. Read the whole article because it is absolutely fabulous and makes me happy in every way.

LOS ANGELES—In what many agreed was perhaps the surest bet in all of sports, former Violators player, coach, and all-around legend Bill Bellamy was elected to the Rock ‘N’ Jock Basketball Hall of Fame Tuesday.

Bellamy, who was the first player ever to receive 100 percent of the vote, leads a 2009 Hall of Fame class that includes former Blossom star Joey Lawrence, Mark Curry, and Shawn Kemp, as well as Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, chosen for their legendary 1991 halftime performance of “Good Vibrations.”

Coolio and Isaiah Rider were also selected by the Rock ‘N’ Jock Veterans Committee, which consists of Kenny Lofton and Boyz II Men.

Former Bricklayer Dean Cain, who received only 5 percent of the vote, was snubbed for the eighth consecutive year and is no longer eligible for induction.

“This is a tremendous honor and one that I do not take for granted,” Bellamy told reporters, adding that while he had known his place in the Hall was virtually secure, he had spent the week nervously awaiting the call from Hall of Fame chairman and Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea. “When I heard Flea’s voice telling me I’d made it, tears came to my eyes. I was just overwhelmed with memories of putting on that Violator uniform and lavalier microphone and seeing the 25-point basket lowered for the first time.”

“I am very humbled,” Bellamy added. “I owe this to all the people I had the opportunity to play with and against, including [current Hall of Famers] Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Queen Latifah, and, of course, Dan [Cortese]. Thank you. Thank you all so much.”

“Now I have to get going. I’m hosting a new reality television show where white guys date black women. It’s funny.”

[The Onion]

15
Apr
09

He’s Unstoppable!

patrick-schusterWant to know when you’re ready to move on to the next level of competition, how about when you throw three STRAIGHT no-hitters; that’s what Patrick Schuster of Mitchell High School in Florida just accomplished.

“He’s on a roll and he’s got confidence in every pitch he’s throwing right now,” Mitchell head coach Scot Wilcox said of his ace. “That’s why we’re seeing so much success out of him.”

In addition to the no-hitter, in his last start the University of Florida-bound senior added in 16 strikeouts and only allowed 3 baserunners, one a hit batsman and two on errors. As if that wasn’t enough, Schuster also spun another no-hitter in the beginning of the season. Over his three consecutive no-nos Schuster has 43 Ks and through the 48 innings he’s thrown this season he has allowed a grand total of 9(!) hits total. A number of pro scouts were in attendance for Schuster’s latest gem, although I’m not clear where he ranks in terms of the draft prospects this year.

Schuster will vie for his 4th straight no-hitter on Monday.

[Sun Coast Pasco]

15
Apr
09

I Can’t Do That

You know what’s awesome about a good bicycle kick? Everything.

14
Apr
09

I Love Japanese Culture

While this story is unfortunate, I love the mindset that led to the situation in the first place.

Noriyuki Komatsu, a former flyweight champion of the Oriental and Pacific Boxing Federation was found dead at the basin of a waterfall in Otsu, Japan on Monday evening. He “is believed to have accidentally fallen in while engaging in ascetic training at the waterfall, [‘police] said. He had been visiting a temple in Kyoto since Saturday for meditation.”

I don’t know what “ascetic training” entails, but it sounds awesome. For some reason I don’t think we’d ever see Floyd Mayweather doing anything similar…

[Breitbart]

14
Apr
09

Now THAT’S a Brawl

Vodpod videos no longer available.

When a brawl breaks out at a rugby match is it really that different from a normal game? I guess so, because 8 minutes into a game between Dinamo Bucaresti and Farul Constata of the Romanian Rugby League a full on brawl broke out. 9 players were eventually taken to the hospital, also 9 players (possibly the same ones) were banned from the Romanian Rugby League for their participation in the fight with the league saying it “condemned the players for conduct devoid of fair-play.”

And now, for fun, the fight in slow-motion.

[Fan IQ]

14
Apr
09

Glory Days Well They’ll Pass You By

Since 1905, Easton High in Pennsylvania and Phillipsburg High in New Jersey have played football against one another. One of the oldest high school rivalries in the country, the two high schools, separated only by the Delaware River, have one score to settle, the 1993 Thanksgiving game that ended in a tie. As part of a documentary sponsored by Gatorade, the 1993 teams are returning to play another game to finally settle the score. Overtime didn’t exist for the schools then, and so both were left with a sour taste in their mouths.

784423Now, 30 players from both teams, all in their 30s now, began meeting about a month ago to start training for the game to be held on April 26th. The weekly practices are also in conjunction with special training sessions from Velocity Sports Performance to help the players get in as close to game shape as possible.

“I wasn’t sure what kind of mind-set the players were going to bring – is it just kind of fun? – but it’s Easton-Phillipsburg no matter your age,” former Phillipsburg coach Bruce Smith said who will return to the sidelines for the game. “The mind-set is, we are in it to win. It’s never just about fun with this game.”

In 1993, Easton came into the game riding high with an 11-1 record, the 4-5 Stateliners from Phillipsburg though put up a fight and kept shutting down the Easton offense. After making two dramatic goal-line stands, the Stateliners blocked a field goal attempt leading to the unsatisfying tie.

“I just remember the empty feeling we left the stadium with,” Steve Shiffert, then, and current head coach of Easton said. “We didn’t know how to act because there was such buildup for the game, and they couldn’t even give out the trophy.”

Now the players are hard at work in an effort to get into shape for the game, a difficult task considering many have been away from the gridiron for nearly 15 years.

784424“It was good to put the pads back on but the soreness afterward was rough,” Darren Smith, a sophomore on the 1993 Easton team said. “You knew it was a different kind of getting back into shape, and you knew you had a lot of work to do. We just don’t recover like we used to. We don’t want to look like a bunch of old guys. We want to come out and look like we can play football. We are 30-year-old men, but we aren’t over the hill yet. We are working hard so we can come out and put a show on.”

Some of the key skill players from both teams are missing, but that hasn’t dampened enthusiasm, “We’re doing some shuffling,” Smith said. “You can’t go into a game like this and expect people to play a position they played 15 years ago.”

Although the score won’t change in the record books, for the players this is their shot at redemption. “Some people say you are crazy, some say it’s great, but it’s a good opportunity,” coach Smith said. “It’s neat renewing relationships with players you had 15 years ago and are 30 now and have families of their own. It makes this game unique.”

[High School Rivals]

14
Apr
09

I Dislike Your Officiating

Comercial coach Pedro Santilli of the Brazilian second division had seen enough during the Sao Paolo Championship game against Catanduvense. Frustrated with the way the game was going, when the ball went out-of-bounds by him, he picked it up, and when a Catanduvense player came to make a throw-in, Santilla threw an elbow into his chest. Now, I don’t want to say that the player is a wuss and was faking it, but when an elderly man bumps you, you shouldn’t be knocked to the ground like Tyson just knocked you out…Santilli wasn’t done though, he walks onto the field, yelling at the ref and gives the ref an uppercut before being sent off and leaving the field. Comercial ended up losing the game and were relegated to the third division.

13
Apr
09

This Doppelganger Train Don’t Stop

Thanks to loyal reader The Sister here are two excellent doppelganger options for you to enjoy as well as one that my own carefully honed eye spotted last night. Please make sure to vote in the polls below and then visit the permanent doppelgangers page to enjoy the many others we’ve assembled.

Nicknamed “The Baseball Monster” by my friends and I, Vladimir Guerrero strikes fear into the hearts of opposing pitchers everywhere; there’s no pitch he can’t hit, no matter how far out of the strike zone it might be, and when he makes contact, the ball goes a long long way. Once graced with the speed of a gazelle, Guerrero would relentlessly run down balls in the outfield before unleashing his absolute cannon of an arm. These days, his movements look like those of an 85 year old man, the years on the hard concrete surface in Montreal taking their toll. Guerrero is also the inspiration for my current fantasy baseball team name: My Two Vlads. There was a time when Arsenio Hall was the king of night-time entertainment; he was hailed as the successor to Johnny Carson and his trademark audience “woofs” took the nation by storm. He also managed to find time to co-star in the epic comedy movie Coming to America, which is on television somewhere, every other week. It is quite possible these men are long-lost brothers.

vladarsenio

Thanks to Julio Lugo’s recent knee surgery, career backup and minor-leaguer Nick Green was given the chance to break camp as a member of the Boston Red Sox Opening Day roster. While he hasn’t done much in his MLB career, Green is a maximum effort type of guy, and in addition to the Sox he’s appeared in games for the Tampa Bay Rays, Seattle Mariners, Atlanta Braves and New York Yankees, although he’s only racked up 803 ABs since 2004 in the bigs. A pint-sized receiver, Wes Welker doesn’t seem like much to look at, except the little guy features blazing speed, excellent agility and the ability to make defenders miss. All of which has led 213 receptions in two years with the New England Patriots. During the season Welker is known for his amazing skills in open space and for an epic porn ‘stache that is just plain filthy; he also has dreamy eyes.

greenwelker

Thanks to their lack of a true top-flight center fielder, Reed Johnson, after unceremoniously being dropped from the Toronto Blue Jays made his way over to the Chicago Cubs where he has provided little pop from the bat but excellent defense. He’s also well-known across baseball for his large goatee that he usually lets grow out as the season progresses. Leading the heavy-metal band Anthrax, Scott Ian is ALSO known for his outlandish length goatees, as well as for the band’s hard-driving licks. He also is married to Meatloaf’s daughter and dropped his real last name “Rosenfeld” when performing, I guess because Jews can’t perform hard-rock. Whaddya think, doppelgangers?

johnsonian




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April 2009
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