Archive for January, 2009



12
Jan
09

Hot Cross Dunks

Here’s Jonny Flynn from Syracuse University taking the Rutgers team to task with a sick crossover and then an awesome finishing dunk. Sure, it was a charge, but it went uncalled and was still pretty.

12
Jan
09

Beckham Make Bang-Time Happy Explosion

beckham_condomsDavid Beckham is widely considered an attractive helium-voiced man and a Chinese condom manufacturer is taking advantage of that attraction by slapping his face onto their condom boxes. The condom company is saying that using their condoms will help users score in the bedroom like Beckham does on the field. I guess that means that you’ll prance around and then leave the game early with an ankle injury…

Some Chinese fans of Beckham though are less than pleased with these condoms, “We do not want Beckham to think the Chinese people are disrespecting him. We love him here,” the Sun quoted one as saying.

Beckham’s representatives had only this to say, “It’s not an official brand.”

I look forward to the day when the Slanch unofficial condoms go on the market. Of course, I’m more looking forward to the photo shoot where they drench my chest in oil, but that’s a whole other story…

[Yahoo!]

09
Jan
09

Home Depot Has Rollbacks

As the economy gets worse and worse, cutbacks are taking place all across the nation, like at Home Depot who famously were very supportive of America’s Olympian athletes. Unlike most professional athletes, many Olympians are forced to shoulder the load of the cost of training and equipment on their own, which can be quite the burden. Home Depot for years has helped with that load by providing part-time jobs to athletes and providing them with full-time salaries and benefits. The athletes have rewarded Home Depot (and the country) by winning 145 medals since Home Depot began this program. Reportedly, the expenses come to about $15-20 million a year for Home Depot and they are being forced to shutter the program. Hopefully some other corporation will come up with an equivalent offer for these athletes but right now many of them are going to be scrambling to figure out how to pay for their training and equipment.

[WSJ]

09
Jan
09

Play the Ball

During the Warriors/Jazz game the other night, a fan sitting near courtside blew a whistle, leading to everyone on the Warriors stopping and the Jazz getting an easy dunk. Now, I’m not going to get into the mindset of a toolbag who brings a whistle to a professional sporting event, particularly someone who has enough cash to sit courtside, but seriously, what are you doing? Did you bring the rest of your reffing equipment too? Are you hoping that one of the refs will get hurt and they’ll look into the stands, see your whistle and that’ll be your big break? What is the brain process there? Anyhoo. Check it out.

[Youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiK51nxUiOY]

09
Jan
09

Corky, You Still Suck

After all the, justifiable, hooplah surrounding his non-vote of Rickey Henderson, embattled elderly sportswriter Corky Simpson who we discussed the other day now says that he made a mistake. According to Simpson, he “goofed” and forgot to include Henderson on his ballot. “Rickey deserves to be in the Hall of Fame, and if I had my ballot back, he’d have a shot at unanimity — and I wouldn’t be hated by quite so many people,” Simpson said

However, I think he’s full of shit. That’s because fellow “Green Valley News sportswriter Nick Prevenas said he warned Simpson about leaving Henderson off his ballot when he filed the column, but Simpson told him he ‘wasn’t a Rickey guy and that he would vote for him next time.'”

So clearly Simpson doesn’t regret his pick, he regrets that he has been publicly embarrassed for selfishly marring Rickey Henderson’s legacy. That Simpson could pick Tim Raines and NOT Rickey Henderson shows that Simpson has some semblance of understanding regarding modern statistical evaluation which shows clearly the value that Rock Raines had on the ball field, but clearly something else was in play.

It is simply indefensible to not include Rickey Henderson on your ballot unless you are trying to be the person who doesn’t include him solely because no one has been elected unanimously. You know what, there is also no openly gay person in the HoF, does that mean no gay man can EVER be in? Just because the old baseball writers were morons and didn’t elect players when they should doesn’t mean we should continue that tradition.

You know, in the 40s there were players that local reporters might NEVER EVER see. The only interaction baseball voters may have had with those players were radio broadcasts and box scores. Today, we have access to EVERYTHING a player does on the field, we can see every time he makes contact on a ball, and not only that, but where he hit it, what type of pitch it was and what he does when the count is 2-0 and there are two men on in the month of June when the sun is shining.

Now there is simply no excuse for not knowing the players, particularly for something seemingly as important as the HoF. If the hall weren’t so important why would the BBWAA make its members take 10 YEARS before they are allowed to vote?

So, back to Simpson and his “apology” which to me is a big crock of shit. If Simpson valued his vote and the HoF he wouldn’t have put Matt Williams on the ballot, no matter how nice a guy he is, hey Corky, I’m a nice guy, put me on next year! Nor would he make an asinine anti-Mark McGwire comment invoking steroids while ignoring that Williams put up extremely suspicious numbers, was mentioned in the Mitchell Report and was found to have received syringes and HGH (at the LEAST) from the same dentist who was busted for providing other athletes with illegal substances.

That’s hypocrisy.

If Simpson really believed that Rickey belongs in the Hall of Fame, why wait on your vote? Sure, Rickey will get in without Simpson, but so what, that’s not a reason to not vote. I’m from Massachusetts, if I don’t vote for Ted Kennedy he’ll still get elected, but does that mean I should vote for someone else just to be nice? Or that I shouldn’t at all? That’s fucking childish.

No, the only thing Simpson is upset about is that his semi-retirement has been upended by a barrage of anti-Corky Simpson sentiment. The only person to blame though, is Simpson himself. I will agree that the vehemence of some of the commenters on his story is unnecessary, but that’s the internet, where assholes reign. However, Simpson knew that Rickey Henderson was going to be elected to the HoF, there is no doubt. There is also no doubt that in leaving Rickey off the ballot it was a conscious and purposeful act. There is simply no way you could look at the list of eligible players and not consider Henderson a Hall of Famer. Unless Simpson wants to admit that his mental faculties are no longer there and he is unable to come up with cogent thoughts, but I’m going to assume that is not the case since he still seems to form sentences together. If he has lost his wits, then his vote DEFINITELY should be taken away.

I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt that Simpson still has working synapses and so chose to leave Henderson off the list purposefully and maliciously. Also, how can you NOT be a “Rickey guy,” what more could you want from a player? He won MVPs, he set a nearly unbreakable record with steals, he set a nearly unbreakable record in runs, his walks record was phenomenal and only could be, and was, bested by one player, Barry Bonds. The only weak part of Rickey’s game was his fielding, but it wasn’t as though he was TERRIBLE, just in comparison to his prodigious lead-off ability it is lesser.

No matter what he says, Corky Simpson clearly put himself above the game, above the HoF. By purposely leaving Henderson off the ballot he willfully took away the opportunity to get someone elected unanimously, and maybe, hopefully, ending the era of hanging onto useless old traditions.

Unfortunately, Corky Simpson seems like just another useless old tradition too.

08
Jan
09

Couple Finds Oldest Baseball Card Ever in Box

Bernice Gallego is a 72 year old woman who, along with her husband Al, 80, runs an antiques store in Fresno, California. As she normally does, one day this summer she started listing some of their items on eBay for sale when she pulled a baseball card out of a box. After debating whether to list it for $10 or $15 to start, she opted for the lower price, saving $.20 in the bargain. Nearly immediately, she started to get inquiries on the card with multiple people seeking to have her end the auction immediately and sell them the card directly.

With her interest piqued, she removed the auction and started looking into the card. It turns out, the card, made in 1869 is considered to be the first baseball card EVER. On it are featured the 10 members of the Cincinnati Red Stockings the first professional baseball team, it was taken in 1869 as an advertisement for Peck & Snyder, a company that sold baseball equipment.

Until she was certain of what she had and to keep it protected, Gallego put the card in a sandwich bag and hung it from the laundry room wall because “If it fell off the wall, the cat would have ate it,” Gallego says. “Well, or the dog.”

Continue reading ‘Couple Finds Oldest Baseball Card Ever in Box’

07
Jan
09

MATT F’ING WILLIAMS!

As the ballots have been handed in, many of the BBWAA are publishing their ballots for the Hall of Fame and their explanations for them. Corky Simpson of the Green Valley News and Sun started writing for newspapers in 1958 and he retired from writing full-time in 2006 after 48 years. Someone should have taken away his BBWAA membership then, and if not then, than immediately today. That’s because he released his ballot and it features 8 of the maximum 10 votes.

His ballot is as follows: Bert Blyleven, Andre Dawson, Tommy John, Don Mattingly, Tim Raines, Jim Rice, Alan Trammel and Matt Williams.

Notice a big name not on the list? How about RICKEY HENDERSON, the GREATEST FUCKING LEADOFF HITTER OF ALL TIME!?!?!?!

But sure, MATT WILLIAMS should be on your ballot. Here’s Simpson’s explanation, “Matt Williams, my first Hall of Fame vote for an Arizona Diamondback player. Matty played 17 seasons for the Giants, Indians and Diamondbacks. Nobody ever played the game with more intensity, nor with more reverence for the sport.”

Um, those are NOT reasons to be in the Hall of Fame, the HoF is for the GREATEST PLAYERS TO EVER PLAY THE GAME (and Luis Aparicio) not for someone who played hard. Now, don’t get me wrong, Williams was a nice player, he played for a long time and was fairly consistent, but was he ever one of the best players of his time? NOPE! Sure, he was an All-Star, but fuck, so was Mark Redman a few years ago…That’s simply not enough reason to include him on a ballot. Nor is leaving two empty slots when RICKEY HENDERSON IS STILL NOT ON YOUR BALLOT!

Putting Matt Williams on your ballot is a giant admission that you are an assh0le and don’t care about the Hall of Fame. Not to mention having Tommy John, Don Mattingly and Jim Rice on your ballot, none of whom deserves to be in the HoF, and I’m on the fence about Trammel.

And to further show just how completely out of touch Simpson is, with I can only imagine some sort of dementia, check out this bit from the end of his article.

“Others honored with nomination this year and who may well be voted into the Hall of Fame, include Harold Baines, Jay Bell, David Cone, Ron Gant, Mark Grace, Rickey Henderson, Jack Morris, Dale Murphy, Jesse Orosco, Dave Parker, Dan Plesac, Lee Smith, Greg Vaughn and Mo Vaughn.”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?! GREG VAUGHN! JESSE OROSCO? DAN PLESAC!?!?!?! JAY BELL! And you include Rickey Henderson in that group? Not a single member of that group who “may well be voted into the Hall of Fame” deserves even a FREE TICKET to the HoF let alone actual membership. Dale Murphy is Jim Rice but having played in Atlanta, David Cone is another good but not great player, Grace is basically Williams with doubles instead of HRs. UGH.

This makes me SO ANGRY. How ANYONE could not see Rickey Henderson as a HoFer is simply beyond me. Particularly when that person thinks MATT WILLIAMS is more deserving.

Someone take away Corky’s vote immediately and see that his ballot is rejected for coming from a retarded person.

06
Jan
09

The Lanes Must Be Slick

Get ready Steelers fans, this video of Ben Roethlisberger bowling is apparently from a few days after he was carted off the field with a concussion. Roethlisberger, who is an avid bowler seems to be suffering some of the effects of the concussion still. Check it out.

Of course, the smart guy who posted the video said Roethlisberger either doesn’t know that when Roethlisberger got hurt it was 2008, not 2007, or this video is really old. Either way, Roethlisberger falls down and I laugh so, win/win.

06
Jan
09

What If God Was One of Us?

Kurt Warner LOVES God, like a LOT, so it is not a huge surprise that there is a video of him drawing a picture of what he thinks God looks like. It doesn’t make any sense, and he’s certainly no artist, but check it out, it’ll hurt your brain.

[River Front Times]

06
Jan
09

Being a Fan Can Be Hard…or Flaccid

A Dutch soccer team has taken the extreme step of banning one fan for life from their stadium for taking an illicit photo. The photograph in question (right) features the fan and the former mayor of the Hague, Wim Deetman and of course, the fan’s penis outside his pants.

Fresh off a meeting with the club directors of ADO Den Haag, the unnamed fan met Deetman and asked for a photograph. Ever obliging, Mayor Deetman had no second thoughts, until the photograph was circulated on the internet and he saw it several days later. Deetman has since taken legal action against the fan, although I cannot imagine what kind of recourse he expects, after all, the photo is on the internet forever, also, how has he been truly harmed? It’s not as though the penis is ON Deetman or anything…

ADO Den Haag have found the incident distasteful enough to have banned the fan from their stadium for life. “To us, the incident is now closed,” said chairman Ronald Langenbach.

I for one hope this catches on in the US, I’ll pay big bucks to anyone who can get a similar photo with Joe Girardi, Herm Edwards or Ozzie Guillen.

[Champions 365]

06
Jan
09

NBC’s Coverage Got Someone HOTTTT

From Best Week Ever comes this clip from NBC’s football coverage where, after the interminably awful 3d stupid cross-promotional commercial comes the sound of a man possibly, orgasming. Me, I think it is someone so disgusted with the commercial that his disbelief gets registered on-air, but I’ll leave it for you to decide.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

06
Jan
09

Put it In His Mouth

In one of the more bizarre suspected doping cases, Jeff Adams, a wheelchair racing athlete is planning on appealing his suspension of 2 years for testing positive for cocaine. Adams, who has won 6 world championships is adamant that he doesn’t use cocaine. According to Adams, while at the Toronto Goth bar Vatikan, an unknown woman came up to him as he sat on a couch in the club and stuffed cocaine into his mouth.

Makes sense to me. That shit ALWAYS happens to me whenever I go out, I can’t STOP people from trying to shove drugs in my mouth. I’m usually lucky if the evening ends and it was ONLY drugs they were trying to stuff into me.

Adams said the catheter he used after that incident to extract urine was the same one he used to give a urine sample a week later after a race at the Canadian wheelchair marathon championships in Ottawa. He said that contaminated catheter caused his positive test for a cocaine metabolite.

However, the arbiter, Richard McLaren isn’t necessarily buying it, “(Adams) could have reported the matter to the police but chose not to do so despite the fact he is married to a police officer. … When I look at the entire circumstances beyond the mere testimony of the athlete I find that the overall version of the events strains my credulity in respect of what occurred.”

By all accounts, Adams has been upfront about this issue all along, and I got to believe that his story is SO ridiculous that there has to be some truth to it. Otherwise, how could anyone EVER think that story would hold up?

[Toronto Star]




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