Archive for January 14th, 2009

14
Jan
09

Father Doesn’t Know Best

steroiddadI feel neglected. My father loves me, I guess, but not as much as Todd Gerleman (left) of Iowa loves his son. That’s because Gerleman supplied his son with steroids and needles in order to “motivate” him about sports. What solid parenting! I like sports, Dad why didn’t you want to motivate me like this! I could have been the professional baseball player my body is sculpted for, but NO! my father had to provide me nutritional meals. I feel ripped off. My destiny was averted.

It seems that Gerleman’s 14 year old son (!) didn’t take well with the steroids, assaulting his mother presumably a side-affect from the steroids. When investigators came to her house, they found a syringe and 105 pills in the boy’s bedroom. Now, call me crazy, but I feel like there have to easier (and cheaper) ways to motivate your son. Why not promise an Xbox? Hell, even a hooker costs less than steroids, (at least in my experience).

I wonder if Gerleman was trying to over the ridiculousness of his name which I can’t imagine sounds good over a loudspeaker. “And it is GIRLY-MAN on the tackle!”

[Waterloo Courier]

14
Jan
09

Only 10 Days Left!

bdd_jose_bonaduce_11409

What an epic fight schedule! My only question, why do Canseco and Danny Bonaduce look like they are about to viciously make out in the photo. That’s not intimidation, that’s love!

14
Jan
09

I Give Up On the Judicial System

What the fuck Dave Meggett?!?! The former Giant, Jet and Patriot has been arrested in South Carolina for raping a 21-year old woman, only months after his latest accusation of raping another woman.

The woman told police she woke up at 1 a.m. Tuesday and found a man she knew as “Mike” sitting on her bed, according to an incident report. The man demanded that she repay $200 she owed him and raped her when she said she didn’t have the money, police said.

Afterward, the man told her he was sorry and that she didn’t have to repay him. The woman drove herself to the hospital, where Meggett later met her and was arrested, according to police records.

Gee, how generous of Meggett, I mean, you rape someone, over a measly $200, it’s real nice of you to say that the debt is wiped clean. Apparently, in Megget’s world one rape equals $200. Fucking whackjob.

Meggett, who was arrested in September for third-degree sexual conduct with a 17 year old, who also knew his as “Michael” is also out on probation stemming from his 2006 sexual battery charge in North Carolina. Hey justice system, here’s an idea, LOCK HIS ASS UP! I mean, I know the courts are busy and all, but wouldn’t that second time he rapes someone come off as a pattern that maybe needs to be stopped? Call me crazy, but what the fuck is he doing out on the streets and not getting his own ass raped in prison? Oh yeah, and there was that time in 90s when he was charged with assualting a woman in Toronto when she wanted to stop having sex with him. But yeah, that’s no reason to keep him in jail…It’s not like he has had multiple sexual related crimes for nearly 20 years now. But sure, let’s let him walk the streets.

[Boston Herald]

14
Jan
09

Give Me a Ball, Give Me Your Other Ball

As the winter season drags on for German soccer fans, anxious for the Bundesliga to get back to playing, turned out in droves to see a friendly between Hannover 96 and Osnabruck. In order to excite the fans even more, a corpulent gentleman decided to strip down to excite the crowd for the game.

I love how much the crowd gets into it, although, they seem more excited when he pulls his pants back up. I wonder if it was his fanaticism that got them going or just not seeing a fat man’s balls anymore made the other fans happy. I guess it’s just one of life’s little mysteries.

[The Offside]

14
Jan
09

We Won! Want To Do Me?

During the 2006 NHL playoffs Edmonton fans went wild as the Oilers improbably getting all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals. Fans were celebrating, and rioting, in the streets leading to multiple arrests. Amid the hullabaloo was Theresa Simone Schneider, 55, who was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover police officer. Twice.

Showing how swift the Canadian judicial system moves, the court finally held her hearing where she plead guilty to two counts of communicating for the purpose of prostitution and one count of failing to appear in court. During the proceedings the court heard how Schneider twice made an offer, first on April 13, 2006, and again on May 26, 2006 to perform a sex act for money to an undercover police officer.

Defense lawyer Warren Smith told court his client admits making the illegal propositions, but said she got “carried away” due to the “festive air” on the street as a result of the Oilers unexpected success during the 2006 playoffs.

Smith added Schneider had been drinking at the time.

Judge James Wheatley accepted the guilty plea and went along with a joint submission for a $700 fine.

If there is anything that says true hockey fan more than a 55 year old woman offering to blow you to celebrate the Oilers winning a hockey game, I don’t know what it is. Seeing that the Oilers are currently in 10th place, it seems that Ms. Schneider may need a different team to celebrate during this year’s playoffs.

[CNews]

14
Jan
09

Yeah, That’s the Spot

'She's a dynamo.'

Donovan McNabb on flexibility trainer Ann Frederick: 'She's a dynamo.'

Methinks that all 7 of you readers out there can come up with a better caption than the one that Philly.com had for this photo. Make it happen.

14
Jan
09

Michael Irvin’s Fame Saves Him

While cruising around the Dallas area in his white Range Rover and stopped at a light, Michael Irvin noticed the car next to him was lowering its window, as though to talk to him. So he lowered his and then noticed that the other car’s occupants were pointing a semiautomatic gun at him. “I knew what time it was,” Irvin said. “But [the assailaint] said ‘Oh, that’s Michael Irvin, with the Dallas Cowboys.’”

Ah, the joys of fame!

“So we started talking about the Cowboys and everything,” he said. “Then they got back on the highway.”

“I tell you what, I’m glad he was a Cowboy fan.”

[Dallas News]




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