The Slanch Report

This would be a lot more interesting if I was holding a joint...

Dolphins running back and weed afficianado Ricky Williams, who has tested positive for weed 4 times in the NFL’s substance program, as well as taking an entire season off so he could go smoke on the beaches of Asia told reporters that over the bye week he was tempted to blaze it down. Surprise!

Blaming the extra free time off, Williams said, ” [The temptation is] greater because, like, Thursday, coach told us we had Friday off, so automatically your mind, which is so constrained since training camp began — every day is a grind, it’s a grind, it’s a grind — and then Coach says `you’re free.’ And the mind says, `I’m free, what can I do?'” Clearly you roll up a joint made out of the New York Times and spark that shit!

But no, the once awesomely dreadlocked Williams conquered his temptation and resisted, by MEDITATING. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. “‘I’ve done a lot of work at understanding myself a little bit more,” Williams said. “So I recognize [the urge] was just a result of the feeling of being free, and I was just trying to maximize it. And I realize that I really enjoy meditating and when I can go home and sit in my room and meditate, I can get the same feeling.” Wait, is that true? Get high and not pay or smoke? Hmmm… maybe Ricky is onto something…

Ricky smartly recognizes that now is not the time to smoke, noting that one more positive test and he’d likely receive a permanent suspension from the league, having received a 4 game and a full season suspension prior. Don’t worry though blazehounds, Ricky won’t throw the bud completely under the bus. ”Yeah, I can say that [I won’t smoke while still playing in the NFL],” he said. “I feel confident saying that. It just doesn’t fit my life right now. It would make life more difficult.”

However, AFTER his career is over…”I don’t know,” he said. “I’d be lying if I said I’m never going to do it again after I’m done. I don’t know. I don’t spend much time thinking about it.” Chalk that up for one very rich, stoner hanging out IMMEDIATELY after retiring. He says he doesn’t spend much time thinking about it but he also is having an entire conversation about how he wants to smoke, yeah, he’s totally disinterested. I expect, nay, INSIST that Williams spark it up at his retirement press conference. If he doesn’t I will be forever disappointed.