Archive Page 163

15
Jul
08

Pete Carroll Loves Shirtless Dudes

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , , , , ,

The Trojans of USC may be one of the top football powers in college football, but frankly, who gives a shit since college football is retarded and uninteresting anyways.

Carroll failed out in two tries in the NFL, including being terrible for my Patriots, but he apparently is unstoppable in college. I think we found out why, it’s all the shirtless parties with young men!

I didn’t think sports could get more homoerotic, and then BAM! it comes back and give you something else, I’ll never doubt again.

[With Leather]


Bookmark and Share

15
Jul
08

A-Rod Slightly Creepy, Definitely Pervy

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Douches
Tags:

Alex Rodriguez has been through a whirlwind of tabloid gossip the last week or so, with news of his impending divorce, rumored affair with Madonna and of course, last year’s episodes with the manly stripper. So, the NY Post, bastion of hard-hitting journalism had a photographer following A-Rod around and managed to grab these shots of him staring at some rando girl’s butt as she walked in front of him.

I especially love that smile he’s giving her, the Post described it as “A-Rod’s famous smile,” I’d say it’s more lecherous and pervy, but hey, I don’t have a fancy journalism degree so what do I know? To me, it looks more like an “I’m gonna have sex with you and then eat one of your arms while sniffing your high heels” kind of smile, but that’s only a guess…

At least when I smile at women they don’t clutch their bags like they might need to escape in a moment’s notice. They’re usually too busy trying to catch themselves from fainting from how devastatingly handsome I am.


Bookmark and Share

15
Jul
08

Old Man Dressages His Way to Beijing

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Olympics and Other Sports
Tags: , , , ,

Hiroshi Hoketsu has been gearing up for the Beijing Olympics, finishing his training, packing his bags and making sure all his equipment is in order. Hoketsu, an equestrian rider will be making his second trip to the Olympics, so you’d think that all this would be old-hand to him already. It is, but that’s only because his hand is really old.

Hoketsu is 67 years old and his first trip to the Olympics was at the Tokyo Olympics in 1964. Now he’s back and getting prepared for his turn in the Dressage event. In 1964 he participated in Show Jumping, finishing a strong 40th overall. He’s keeping his goals low this time out, merely hoping to finish in the top-25.

A retired drug company executive, Hoketsu he didn’t know how long he would keep competing but told reporters, “It’s up to fate and fortune. But for now I will keep on riding as long as me and my horse remain fit and fine.”

Also awesome, “Hoketsu was born in Tokyo into a family which allegedly has its roots in a clan of pirates who infested the Inland Sea in the medieval ages.” I don’t know how that helps him on a horse, but it’s an awesome bit of family history.

Hoketsu will be the oldest Japanese man to participate in the Olympics, but remains behind Oscar Swahn, a Swedish sharpshooter who won Silver in the 1920 games at the age of 72 years and 10 months.


Bookmark and Share

15
Jul
08

Maybe She Was Trying To Spark the Jays’ Offense

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , , , ,

The Rogers Centre The Skydome (it is and always will be the Skydome to me) in Toronto houses the Blue Jays as well as the Renaissance Hotel which has rooms that overlook the stadium. Over the weekend while the Jays were finishing their series against the Yankees, apparently one guest provided some more excitement than the games itself.

During the 7th inning of one of the games a buxom blonde decided to take in the game topless, wearing only a thong. Thanks mysterious lady! The Jumbotron video guy noticed her quickly, although obviously he couldn’t showcase her on the big board, but he pointed her out to a photographer from the Ottawa Sun who had no such compunctions.

“At Jays games, a lot of people bring binoculars, and some saw us looking over at the box and then looked up themselves,” said Dave Abel, the photographer, after having snapped up several photos.

Of course, being narcs, the Renaissance Hotel immediately went up to the room and put an end to the fun show.

“Our security and duty manager went up and dealt with the guests,” said Dan Woodburn, Renaissance’s director of operations. “When people check in, we have quite a procedure and they have to sign a waiver saying they won’t throw anything or do anything (risque).”

How boring! If I was in one of those suites you better believe the crowd would be getting a show. Of course, the security people would be totally scared of my rippling abs, chiseled pecs and beg for the chance to see me naked.

Of course, several years ago a couple were boning in their hotel room and they put that on the Jumbotron. Apparently, that’s OK, but a topless blonde in a thong is a danger to society. Stupid Canadians, you’re doing it wrong!


Bookmark and Share

15
Jul
08

NY Fans Remain the Absolute Classiest

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Television
Tags: , , , , , ,

With the All Star game in Yankee Stadium, and everyone in the media falling over themselves to wax poetic about the stadium and the Yankees, the fans in the stadium are doing their part to show why they’re douchebags.

Last night when Chase Utley was introduced he was lustily booed, now granted it was likely Mets fans that were booing him, but fuck it, they’re all from New York, and it was still stupid. Here’s Chase’s reaction to getting booed. Don’t worry ChUtley, you’re still totally boss in my book, now keep cranking those homers for my fantasy team.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Last night’s Home Run Derby was some kind of cruel endurance test as ESPN put Joe Morgan and Chris Berman together as the announcers. I’m pretty sure that can be considered torture under the American Code of Military Justice. I hope they had the TVs tuned in over at Guantanamo. All I know is that after the pure analysis Joe provided, plus my ears ringing from “BACK BACK BACK, it falls just beyond the infield,” that I came super close to stabbing a screwdriver into my ear canals.


Bookmark and Share

Continue reading ‘NY Fans Remain the Absolute Classiest’

14
Jul
08

No Wonder Interest is Growing

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Hot Women and Other Sports
Tags: , ,

Beach volleyball is one of the fastest growing sports, no wonder since the women who play are generally pretty hot and wear small bikinis. Here is a delightful gallery with Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh and several other pro volleyball players. What an age in which we live!

Enjoy the rest of gallery here

(I especially like that this gallery was put together by the Florida Sun-Sentinel, that’s some hard-hitting news y’all are putting together, I thought that was only for the blogs, not the mainstream folk…)


Bookmark and Share

14
Jul
08

After the First Half Mets Fans Need Only One Thing

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Baseball
Tags: ,

For the Mets, finally on the right track and owners of a 9 game win streak, the All Star break couldn’t have come at a worse time; they are finally hitting and their pitchers are straight up dominating, even Oliver Perez got in on the act!

So, with the end of the official first half of the 2008 MLB season, Mets fans are seeking release. I wish them luck.


Bookmark and Share

14
Jul
08

The Single Best Part of the All Star Fanfest

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Baseball, Hot Women and Pop Culture
Tags: , ,

At MLB’s All Star Fan Fest on Sunday there was one line that was worth waiting on, and the swarming crowds proved that to be true.

What baseball celebrity could inspire such devotion, such eager excitement from fans?

Hank Aaron?

Willie Mays?

Bill Pulsipher?

What baseball celebrity requires an intense state police escort?

What baseball celebrity inspires crowds to go Beatles-on-Ed-Sullivan nuts in sheer desperation to snatch a photo?

Of course, it was none other than that noted “catcher” of star pitchers, Alyssa Milano!

I’m pretty sure she fell totally in lust with me. I mean, look at the way she autographed this photo, that heart swoop MEANS something. It has to…


Bookmark and Share

14
Jul
08

Sigh

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball

I don’t know why it happened, but I only noticed today that 2 of my posts from Friday somehow didn’t get posted, mostly because I think I’m an idiot. Sigh.

So, if you’re interested, these are the two posts that were supposed to have gone up 3 days ago…

I Disagree With Your Call and Would Like a Word About it

Corey Hart Gets All-Star Bid, Daughter Gets a Beer Bath

14
Jul
08

MLB All Star Fanfest, A Moderately Fun Time!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Boston
Tags: , ,

cnt_9130fanfestWith the All Star game tomorrow, there have been a ton of various MLB sponsored events around town. To take part in the festivities (since my press pass to the All-Star Game itself must have gotten lost in the mail), I headed over to the Fan Fest at the Javitz center on Sunday.

This was my first time ever at an event like this, so I wasn’t sure what to fully expect. When we arrived at the convention center, the simple act of buying tickets became a clusterfuck, as it took us a couple minutes to find the place where they even sell the tickets. Fortunately, while waiting in line a friendly scalper came by and sold us tickets at less than face value. Hey, thanks!

Tickets in hand, we could see the entrance to the event only a few feet away. Instead of conveniently walking through and getting into the fest, we instead had to walk back outside, go down some stairs, through a long snaking path, up an escalator, around a corner into another snaking line and then finally we came back to where we had bought our tickets and were eventually allowed entry.

Upon entering, we checked out the various items up for auction: some cool jerseys, balls, bats and other cool memorabilia for those of you with healthier checking balances than I. There were multiple a cappella groups performing around the area, which was totally fortunate since a cappella totally sucks. There was however a dope set-up of all the various hats of the minor leagues, arranged by team, which was very neat to see and there were some excellent hats.

We wandered around and saw all the trophies of baseball. Did you even know that the NL base-stealing champion wins the Lou Brock award? I didn’t. Apparently the AL guy gets nothing. Strange. The trophies were somewhat interesting, for example, I’d much rather, based on aesthetics, win the Home Run Derby trophy or the World Series MVP than the regular season MVP which is just a boring plaque.

Hilariously, they had some giant-size posters of players hanging from the ceiling. The ones that I noticed were from such current All Stars like Barry Zito, and my personal favorite, Kaz Sasaki. He’s only been out of the league since 2003, so I can see why they’d be anxious to market him…

Continue reading ‘MLB All Star Fanfest, A Moderately Fun Time!’

11
Jul
08

Let’s Make Papa Proud

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Other Sports
Tags: , ,

The annual running of the bulls in Pamplona started on the 6th and will be going until the 14th, every day they set 6 of the bulls loose and head them towards their inevitable death. Sporty! Hemmingway made it sound like a fun adventure, so I won’t hear any ninnying from the PETA folk.

My new favorite, The Big Picture, an all hi-res image photo blog, releases new sets of photos every few days and the latest are from the bull runs and fights this week, they are totally boss.

You should absolutely go to the page itself and check them out in their full large size glory, since I can’t even begin to do these pictures true justice thanks to my layout, but there’s one more, totally graphic, picture I want to post. Join us below the jump to check out what happens a bull gets got.

Continue reading ‘Let’s Make Papa Proud’

11
Jul
08

I Disagree With Your Call and Would Like A Word About it

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , , , ,

Here’s one of the better minor league manager melt-downs to have happened this season, manager Kash Beauchamp of the Wichita Wingnuts in the American Association of Independent Professional Baseball felt that the umpire might have missed the call. At least, I think that’s what he was trying to say when he took his shoe off and shoved it in the umpire’s face.

“It’s weird-it just comes out of nowhere, the ejections and stuff.” Beauchamp told the Wichita Eagle. “When I’m gone, (my brain) is gone, all I know is somehow I ended up in my socks. I don’t even know how I got into my socks. I was looking for my shoes and I had no idea where they were.”


Bookmark and Share

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »

Follow The Slanch Report

 Subscribe to RSS Feed

twitter / slanchreport

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 20 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

April 2026
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  

Categories