Donovan McNabb was benched during Sunday’s loss to the Ravens, but I’d argue that Brian Westbrook had a similarly painful game, based solely on this one photo. I know football is a rough game, I applauded when people tackled Ricky Williams by his dreads, I mean, it looked painful, but hey, they are out there so why not. But jockstraps are supposed to be beneath the surface, like my inner rage or the fact that my secret fetish is one of those troll dolls, some things are just not meant to be seen. That’s why this tackle looks so painful. Besides, imagine the angle his junk is going out, yeowch.
Archive Page 133
25
Nov
08
By the Short and Curlies
Whilst watching the Giants game yesterday and seeing a picture of Eli Manning, one of my roommates noticed the uncanny resemblance that Eli Manning shares with John Krasinski of The Office and Michael Phelps. I couldn’t agree more. Even more alike is the sheer awkwardness that both Phelps and Manning produce whenever they speak in person, when it always seems both are speaking in public for the first time ever. Make sure that you vote in the poll below to cast your opinion to see if this doppelganger pairing can join the illustrious ranks of the other doppelgangers that are gathered together here.
24
Nov
08
Boxing Looks Painful
Here’s a great image from the Ricky Hatton/Paulie Maglignaggi bout over the weekend, remind me to never be a professional boxer.
New Orleans Saints owner Tom Benson owns multiple car dealerships when he isn’t paying the bills for the team. As one way to sell some more cars, every year he parks a bunch of cars outside the team’s facility in the hope that some of the players and employees will buy a new set of wheels. The players apparently don’t appreciate this, particularly since he doesn’t cut them much of a deal. Which, I suppose is sort of fair, except that any professional football player can afford to buy a car without much of any concern about their checkbook. In order to express their displeasure, “more than one of the cars was coated in a certain byproduct of the human digestive system.”
That’s right, the players POOPED on the cars! Wow. Just imagine the process for that, you need to get a buddy, then, you and said buddy load up and head out to the parking lot, then just casually drop trou and poop on some new cars. Or as I like to call it, Thursday.
[Pro Football Talk via Fan IQ]
The Tennessee Titans have been flying through this season en route to their current undefeated record so, to spice things up a little, head coach Jeff Fisher decided to make a big entrance to Thursday’s practice. As the players filtered out to the practice field, they noticed 4 parachutists coming down towards them. At first the players were confused, then, as they came in to land, the players realized that coach Fisher was coming down too. Joining up with some members of the 101st Airborne Cavalry, Fisher tandem jumped out of a helicopter about 12,000 feet up onto the practice field.
“We didn’t know what was going on. We saw the parachuters coming down and then we see Coach Fish,” linebacker Stephen Tulloch said. “It is cool to have a coach like that. … Everybody was excited. To see him do that, it made practice that much more fun. We didn’t know it was him, and then we saw his blue jacket and knew it was him.”
While Fisher didn’t comment on the stunt after practice with reporters, the players said that the message the coach was giving them was about overcoming obstacles. One of the parachutists was Sgt. Max Ramsey who had lost a leg in Iraq, which left quite the impression on the players. “He has been able to overcome that adversity and still do what he does,’’ Tulloch said. “It shows us no matter what, we can accomplish what we want. That’s what I took from it. … It is unbelievable.”
20
Nov
08
Mustaches Make the Hockey Player
The Everett Silvertips are a junior hockey team up in Canada, and for those of you fools who weren’t following their recent 6 game road trip and just read the box scores, all you see is that they finished the trip with 8 out of a possible 12 points. Not too shabby. But much like the Sacramento Rivercats over the summer, the road success has been fueled by the power of the new mustaches the team has grown. Mustaches like this one living on the upper lip of forward Kyle Beach:
Sassy! ““Absolutely [the winning streak was due to] the mustache,” Beach said, “We couldn’t have done it without them. It kept our upper lip warm when we were out there in the cold, so definitely the points came from the mustaches.”
The impetus for the ‘staches came from the captains, who required everyone to grow one during the trip. Of course, being a junior hockey team, not everyone has the ability to grow a handsome ‘stache, so there were some ugly ones out there on the ice. “Some guys did good, some guys did not very good, but everyone tried to grow it, that’s the whole thing,” defenseman Taylor Ellington said. “It was a team-bonding experience. It brought guys closer together, as weird as it seems that something that small could do that.” To make sure that their mustaches had that extra pop out on the ice, several of the players used Just For Men. Way to go Keith Hernandez, your advertising has worked!
Now that the trip is over, some of the players intend to keep their ‘staches, and of course, they are doing it for the right reasons. “Oh, it’s good,” a smirking Beach answered when asked to evaluate his own mustache. “Girls love it. That’s really all that matters.”
For more pictures of the Silvertips’ ‘staches, check out the gallery here.
20
Nov
08
Hines Ward Sees Cold Fronts
Apparently Hines Ward doesn’t have enough to do breaking people’s jaws and catching passes from every football commentator’s dream man “Ben,” that he needs to take over the forecasting duties on local television. But then again, it’s not as though there is that much to actually do in Pittsburgh so, I guess this makes sense. As for his actual weather delivery skills, I’m not impressed, he’s too casual. This is the 5 day forecast! PEOPLE DEPEND ON THIS HINES! And c’mon, you can’t even wear a suit? I’m disappointed. After the jump see Hines’ foray into a new career.
20
Nov
08
Boom Shake Shake Shake the Room
This gallery has some amazing still photos of some big ass hits from the NFL. These are not all from this year with many from seasons past, but frankly, who really cares when you get to see some big men knocking the shit out of one another. Look at Ocho Cinco’s face when he gets popped here, don’t you wish that could happen EVERY time he catches a ball? Check out the full gallery here!
20
Nov
08
This Seems Slightly Suggestive
Now here’s a headline that I think we can all get behind. I think all of us have used that argument before. Remember ladies, it’s not the size of the wave but the motion of the ocean. Yeah, that’s the ticket!
[Fan IQ]
20
Nov
08
Want to Get Aroused?
Ray Moon is the world’s oldest bodybuilder at 80 years old. The octogenarian has gone through polio, cardiac arrest, open heart surgery, twisted bowels, multiple strokes, has a pacemaker and goddamn is he sexy. Feast your eyes on this piece of meat ladies! I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m reexamining my sexuality right now.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
This video has simply too many amazing things going on within it, it’s hard to believe that it is from an actual newscast. First off, the topic is that these women are starting a petition to have pole dancing added to the gymnastic events in the Olympics. OK, that seems strange, but I’m willing to agree that skilled pole dancing does have many impressive gymnastic elements so that’s not ridiculous. Then there is the fact that this newscast is from Utah, the official state of boring people. When was the last time pole dancing and Utah were in the same sentence, let alone in a POSITIVE news story?
Follow that with one of the co-owners of the studio in her giant stripper heels saying that the shoes are only for building strength, “[they] really help my calves get stronger…” she says, ALMOST with a straight face. Meanwhile the video features a lady in fishnets upside down slithering on the pole. Yeah, NOTHING to do with strippers. Throw in the Mormon housewives in the class and this video simply has everything you could ever ask for. And then, just to top off the unintentional comedy in this video, the petition has 300 signatures! 300! And they are trying to become an Olympic sport! I’m not a member of the Olympic Committee, however, I feel safe in saying that you’ll need significantly more than 300 people in UTAH to become an official Olympic sport.
[FAN IQ]
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