Archive for the 'Awesome' Category



11
Mar
09

Cody Ransom Has Ups

When Alex Rodriguez announced his conveniently timed injury, Yankees outfielder Johnny Damon said that the Yankees wouldn’t be completely screwed over, because A-Rod’s likely replacement, Cody Ransom is “probably the best athlete on this team.” For example, there is this video of Ransom showing off his ridiculous 60 inch vertical leaping ability. That’s 5 FEET! I don’t know how useful vertical leaping ability is in baseball, but, you know, still pretty awesome.

[Youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7XZX946hWI]

[NY Times]

11
Mar
09

Today in History

Taking a moment out of the fun times I wanted to do a little self-congratulations; today is the one-year anniversary of the Slanch Report!

When I got into the blogging game, I knew I was in for a wild ride. The crazed groupies, the wild parties, the drugs, it all really happens, the sheer fame I’ve received from this blog has been amazing. Now, when I walk into my living room everyone there knows my name, I’m FAMOUS!

Our first post, revealing some of the prophecies in the epic cinema piece Independence Day, took the world by storm, and since then, I have done my damnedest to bring you some of the best, most interesting sports stories and interesting news. I hope you’ve enjoyed it.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read and enjoyed the Slanch Report, I hope you keep coming back and don’t forget to tell your friends. Please keep up the comments and the let’s keep the conversations going, got an opinion on anything I write, let everyone know, think my grammar sucks? Throw a comment out there. Together we can make this the best blog on the internet.

And of course, critical comments are always welcome too; if I’m doing something that sucks or that you hate, please let me know, we are constantly evolving here and our crack team wants to do everything to provide you with the best experience possible.

Some statistics from this past year:

Continue reading ‘Today in History’

10
Mar
09

Nun Flips Non-Siena Fans the Bird

4She may be married to Christ but don’t you come messing with her beloved MAAC basketball or this nun will take it personally.

10
Mar
09

This Zamboni is a Party Machine

bn2lne2kkgrhgoh-deejlll1e6ubjrtf26j7q_12When a Zamboni reaches the end of its life, they are usually just shunted off to junk yards or some two-bit ice rink, but if I were one, this is how I’d want to spend my golden years. Even better, this one could be yours–or mine if you bought it for me–via eBay.

After spending 25 years in service, this Zamboni features a full tiki bar on board, along with the requisite grass skirts, bamboo mats, disco lamps and of course the tiny umbrellaed drinks. The ice scraper and heating equipment has been removed, leaving this vehicle ready to party anywhere you can think of, it would make a perfect “Thank You Slanch” gift for all the lovely post gifts I leave for y’all. Unfortunately, the tiki girls are NOT included in the auction…

[eBay via Puck Daddy]

10
Mar
09

GOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Soccer is really nice when played well. For example, here is Arsenal’s Eduardo banging one home in a most pretty manner. Lovely.

10
Mar
09

Omar “Picasso” Vizquel Throws Down Some Paint

When I think of Omar Vizquel, I think of a slick fielding shortstop spraying singles all around the diamond, what I don’t think of is the man using oil paints to paint nudes. But, he is a man of many talents it seems, in September for example, he had an exhibition in a San Francisco art gallery of some of his finer works. Now, I’m no art critic, but I think he’s not half bad, and any time you can have a skeleton hang on a lady’s leg you know you’ve made me happy.

What do y’all think, should he stick with the glove or does he have a lucrative career ahead of him after he hangs up the spikes?

Take Me With You #1[Caldwell Snyder Gallery]

And a hearty thanks to Mattraw for the tip!

10
Mar
09

Paul Pierce Doesn’t Like Your Laundry

The Celtics scored a big victory over the Cavaliers last week, maintaining their dominance of the Eastern Conference and reminding the Cavs just who the defending champs were. After the game, a visibly fired up Paul Pierce started hi-fiving all the fans sitting courtside, except of course for the little kid wearing his LeBron jersey. I love it.

[Youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OLy3dNl2QA]

10
Mar
09

Bronson and Pedro Like to Party

bronson_arroyo_boat_bikini_party_1Fresh off my story about Bronson Arroyo’s boat, the Nasty Hook, comes these photos via Busted Coverage of what looks like a fun party onboard, complete with Bronson’s former Red Sox teammate Pedro Martinez.

Then there’s this, an anonymous message board poster with a passion for creative spelling who claimed to be on the boat during the party said that:

Me and my friend were on his boat in Miami for Ragatta over the weekend. Bronson and his friends were all there on the boat everybody was drinking and tubeing. I know my friend ended up hooking up with Bronson a couple times and said he sucked another girl was saying she did to. He calls my friend all the time now. He had some of his guy friends on the boat and one of them was the guy Tony somebody mentioned here all the guys were there witout there gf’s. AND everbody was hooking up in the boat bathroom. If Bronson does have a gf or fiancay it didnt stop him somebody said hes like 35 him and his freinds acted like they were in highscool.bronson_arroyo_boat_bikini_party_8

Now, since I don’t speak retard, I can’t completely decipher this but I get the general gist I think. Regardless, it looks like Pedro is in fine game shape and had a nice afternoon on the high seas, and you know what, he deserves it.

[Busted Coverage via With Leather]

10
Mar
09

Credit the Ball Boy with the Assist

Working the sidelines in his capacity of ball boy, Ofek Mizrachi managed to pick up an important assist for his favorite team Hapoel Haifa of the Israel Football Association. With the score tied 0-0, the ball went out of bounds and with the goalie out of position, Mizrachi quickly got a ball to a Hapoel Haifa player, who converted the throw-in into a timely goal. The team still ended up losing 2-1, but I think it’s safe to say Mizrachi did more than his share to try and help them win.

[Fan IQ]

09
Mar
09

Mr. T Pities the WWE Hall of Fame

The WWE Hall of Fame came a-callin’ for Mr. T wanting to place him in their illustrious hall, but he wanted no part in the “honor.”

“WWE asked me to be in the Hall of Fame and I turned it down. You know why? They put Pete Rose in the wrestling Hall of Fame. This guy can’t even get into his own Hall of Fame. After they put Rose in they came and asked me and I said ‘You don’t insult me! You don’t put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame before me!’ I ain’t going to be a part of that. They put him in and he only did one WrestleMania, and he didn’t even wrestle.”

Mr. T started his wrestling career in 1985 as Hulk Hogan’s tag-team partner at the first WrestleMania. Later he became a special “WWF boxer” because of his character Clubber Lang from Rocky III. He boxed in several other wrestling matches and in 1987 served as a special referee enforcer. In 1994 Mr. T returned as a special referee for a Hulk Hogan-Ric Flair match, the last time he got in the ring as a wrestler was for an episode of WWF Raw in 2001.

[Pro Wrestling]

09
Mar
09

Wok This Way

17855Only the Germans could create a word like schadenfreude, and so it is little wonder that the country is atwitter with excitement for the 7th Annual Wok World Championship where various celebrities hurl themselves down a mile-long bobsled track sitting in metal woks. Able to reach speeds up to 60 mph, the one or 4-man teams use modified soup ladles on their feet to help steer the way. The path is fraught with danger regardless.

“In 2007 the singer from the German band Oomph! suffered a severe concussion, after which we decided to introduce weight limits of 130 kilogrammes (287 pounds) for the one-man woks,” event spokesman Michael Osterman explained, adding that participants also wear protective gear, similar to ice hockey equipment.

[The Local]

09
Mar
09

The Dread Pirate Arroyo

Ah Florida, fun in the sun, you go see spring training baseball in the afternoon and then head down to the marina and hang out on your sport yacht in the evening. Or at least, that’s what you WOULD do if you were Cincinnati Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo. After a grueling day of spring training, Bronson goes on-board his 48 foot yacht, the Nasty Hook to relax.

“Being out here at every night, it’s so peaceful. You sit out here and listen to the birds and have dinner as you wind down from the day. It’s a different feel than you would get living anywhere on land,” Arroyo remarked.

Complete with a wave-runner, auto-pilot capability, high-tech navigation and satellite equipment, granite counter tops, 2 bedrooms (one with a king-size bed), a modern kitchen and a silhouette of Arroyo’s unique pitching style, the Nasty Hook has everything a big-leaguer could want.

During spring training Arroyo eats, sleeps and “entertains” (see king-size bed) on his boat, which is captained by lifelong friend Tony Acosta who “makes this thing go and makes sure we always get back to port,” said Arroyo. Once the regular season begins, Acosta will take the boat up to Cincinnati so the party never needs to stop.

“When we get a chance during the regular season, we’ll get 35-40 people on the boat. We’ll run out on the Ohio River near Riverbend and just turn this thing into a club. Break out the lights and the smoke machines and they’ll be dancing on the top deck and below,” Arroyo says.

Unfortunately for Arroyo, this is the Reds’ last season in Florida for ST, next year they’re moving to Goodyear, Arizona which, being in the middle of the desert might be a little more of an issue for mooring the boat.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Arroyo says. “There’s not going to be a boat in the middle of the desert.”

Maybe Bronson can arrange a trade to the Pirates, they train in Bradenton, Florida and really, Bronson always deserved to be a pirate…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

[Cincinnati.com]




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