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14
Jul
09

The Devil Is in the Uniforms

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

At Saturday’s Rays game, they wore some retro uniforms, all the way back to the good ol’ days of 1998! Since dropping the “Devil” part of their name, the Rays have won 145 games over the last season and a half, add in the teams first winning season/playoff appearance/World Series appearance and it seems like dropping the Beelzebubian part of their name has worked.

In Saturday’s game manager Joe Maddon was ejected, the team’s 4-game win streak was halted, catcher Dioner Navarro was taken to the hospital after taking a foul ball off the side of his face and worst of all, SMASH MOUTH played a concert at the Tropicana after the game.

We just seem to play better in a Rays uniform,” said Joe Maddon. “That was not pretty.”

I wouldn’t expect to see the “retro” uniforms again any time soon.

Also, to be fair, I used to really like the Smash Mouth first album.

[The Ledger]

14
Jul
09

So That’s AN Idea

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Olympics, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , ,

campbell2A medal hopeful for the 2012 Olympic games in London, New Zealand’s Ben Campbell came up with a unique idea to raise money for his taekwando training, he wants to open a brothel.

“There is no point me going to the Olympics to make up the numbers if I go I want to be a medal contender,” he told a local television station. Campbell, who needs to raise $190,000 over the next two years in order to compete he says may be now barred from the games for his “gentlemen’s club” business venture.

Taekwondo New Zealand’s Secretary General Matt Ransom said that “It may be unlikely that he will be selected because of his involvement.”

Under New Zealand law, he is legally allowed to open a brothel, but that apparently doesn’t matter to his sport’s national governing body.

“This is perfectly legal, so I do not see why I would wreck my chances,” Campbell said, he added that if other people had worthwhile other options he’d listen, but as yet, nothing else had emerged.

I understand, there is simply too much money in running a brothel to pass up. Plus the perks! You know, like going to conventions and getting newsletters and stuff. What did you think I meant?

[CNN]

14
Jul
09

National Fail

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Douches
Tags: , ,

2008106662How do you replace a manager who starts off his major league career going 157-251, a .385 winning percentage? If you’re the Washington National Failures you do so with a 522-652 career record, good for a .445 winning percentage. SUCCESS!

After ousting Manny Acta, who was never given a fair chance, or a Major League team for that matter, the Nationals have hired Jim Riggleman the failed former Padres, Cubs and Mariners manager. I’m sure this will lead to success.

What, Butch Hobson wasn’t available?

[ESPN]

14
Jul
09

Pujols Puts His Money Where His Mouth is

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: ,

albert-pujolsDuring the home run bonanzas of the steroid days, then-SI writer Rick Reilly challenged Sammy Sosa to take a piss test to prove he didn’t use steroids. Despite being a douche of the umpteenth degree, Reilly has been proven right. Now, while putting up one of the best first-halves in the history of the game, Albert Pujols is trying to be the hero that baseball needs, the one that everyone thought Alex Rodriguez was, until he proved to have been a steroids user too.

“I can understand people being disappointed with A-Rod and Manny,” Pujols says, “But just because Manny made a mistake, now I have to pay? Just because A-Rod made a mistake, now I have to pay? Oh, guilt by association? That’s wrong.”

“For people to be suspicious of me because of the year I’m having and for people to say I just haven’t been caught, that makes me angry and disappointed.

“I would never do any of that crap. You think I’m going to ruin my relationship with God just because I want to get better in this game? You think I’m going to ruin everything because of steroids?”

Already tested he says 6 times, Pujols says that if that isn’t enough, he’s willing to be tested EVERY DAY, and if he is caught using anything banned, he’ll repay to his employers, the St. Louis Cardinals every cent they’ve paid him.

“Come test me every day if you want. Everything I ever made in this game I would give back to the Cardinals if I got caught,” he told reporters.

In this day and age when the fans look at all the players as tainted, I desperately hope that Pujols is the real deal. I don’t care that much about steroids, if everyone was doing them, so be it, it’s unfortunate for the ones who weren’t, but they weren’t complaining when their salaries were rising thanks to the steroids users. However, I want Pujols to be clean.

Albert Pujols is simply too damn good at baseball. If he is using steroids it might break my heart. I want to believe that the things I see him do are legit, I want to believe that a human being is capable of being as incredible as he is; if he were to test positive I don’t know what I’d do.

At this point, no one would surprise me, but Pujols would disappoint me. I hope these statements of his are true, that he is clean and that the evidence will back it up. Baseball needs him. I need him. And at least one of my fantasy teams needs him too.

[USA Today]

13
Jul
09

So Bernie Kosar is Doing Fine

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Football
Tags:

kosar-bernie-cvb-1Some might remember Bernie Kosar for his exploits with his hometown Cleveland Browns, or for being unceremoniously dumped by Bill Belichick when he took over the Browns, or you might be like me and remember his guest appearance on an episode of The Drew Carey Show. Regardless of how you recall Kosar, things have not been going great in his world recently.

Due to some a divorce, unfortunate business decisions and foolish investments, Kosar was forced to file for bankruptcy the other day. The man who once threw 308 passes without an interception and once broke his ankle in the first quarter of a game, only to throw 2 touchdowns in the 4th, now is desperate to keep boys away from his young daughters.

He shattered a Kid Rock-autographed guitar the other day while chasing one teenager out of his house because he doesn’t mind all of the other boys within the area code thinking the Kosar girls have an unhinged dad.

“There are a million doors in this place,” he says. “Too many ways to get in.”

Every movement carries pain and suffering, too many hits over the years have left his body battered and broken and needing multiple surgeries. When asked how much of his money he gave to former teammates over the years with being paid back,

Eight figures,” he says.

Friends and family?

“Eight figures,” he says.

Charities, while putting nearly 100 kids through school on scholarships? “Well over eight figures.”

Now, no longer near the world of football, this once great player has been reduced to the realization that he’s a 45 year old man incapable of doing many mundane tasks. He simply never had to. For most of his life everything was taken care of, by his wife, by maids, by assistants, now, he’s on his own, trying to be a dad and trying to live a “normal” life. I for one wish him luck.

[Miami Herald]

13
Jul
09

Hang On to Your Hats

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Site News
Tags:

I’m headed into the urban wilderness that is High Falls, NY and I’m simply not sure what the internet situation is going to be for this week. Most likely, there will be updates at some point in the evenings, but it is unlikely that there will be any day-time posts. You’ll have to make it through the work week somehow. Keep checking back though, if only to pad my stats!

Hugs and HJs!

10
Jul
09

Hanrahan Gets the Win Miles Away

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , ,

20080529-005237-pic-47351916It took until July 9th, but Joel Hanrahan finally got his first win of the season, and he did it with probably the easiest outing of his season, and on a day off no less! Relaxing in Philadelphia with his new Pirates teammates, 15oo miles away his former mates on the Nationals were taking on the Astros in the continuation of a game started on May 5.

The original game was in the 11th inning when the game was forced to be suspended due to rain. Tied at 10, Hanrahan was on-deck to bat when the game was called. The game was finally resumed last night, albeit in Houston instead of Washington. LaTroy Hawkins who was pitching when the game was originally called was back out on the mound gave up a single and then an error by Miguel Tejada led to a quick run for the Nationals and the game.

Hanrahan, traded on June 30th to the Pirates thus earned his first win of the season, for a team he no longer plays for, improving his record to 1-3.

[ESPN]

10
Jul
09

Forget Halladay, Let’s Get A-Gon

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Boston
Tags: ,

AdrianGonzalezWith Toronto GM JP Ricciardi’s announcement that he would be fielding offers for Roy Halladay, the baseball world has been abuzz with rumors and talk about where he might go. One of the possible destinations is, of course, the Red Sox. While I would love that move, it is highly highly unlikely. For one thing, Halladay is 32, will most likely require an extension taking him another 3-5 years at Johan/CC money. Josh Beckett’s contract is also up after next season and will be in line for a salary similar to that AJ Burnett is earning as a minimum. The likelihood of the Red Sox investing somewhere in the neighborhood of $30+ million in just 2 pitchers is very small. Add in that Jonathan Papelbon is going to keep earning gigantic arbitration awards, probably somewhere in the $10 million range next year, and you’re looking at upwards of $40 million for just 3 players. That’s not fiscally responsible.

Halladay would make the Red Sox by far the runaway candidate to win the World Series this year, but at what future cost? At the same time, the Red Sox right now are still one of the likely representatives in the World Series as is.

I for one would prefer to see the Sox turn their minor league development machine into adding another bat to the roster. At this moment the team is not desperate for another big bopper in the lineup, but at the end of this season third baseman Mike Lowell’s contract is up and despite his being an incredibly valuable member of the team, is unlikely to be extended. That means there’s a hole in the infield. Thanks to Kevin Youkilis’ versatility, the team can look to add either a third baseman OR a first baseman and I have the perfect target; Adrian Gonzalez of the Padres.

Continue reading ‘Forget Halladay, Let’s Get A-Gon’

10
Jul
09

Ooh, Ball in Your Face

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball, Other Sports, People Hurting Themselves, Random and Soccer
Tags:

In honor of Erin Andrews taking a ball off the face on Wednesday, here’s a gallery assembled by Bula Pictures of other people taking a ball, or foot, or dog to the face. Enjoy!

18

[Bula Pictures]

09
Jul
09

I Think Jeter Wins This One

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

I was looking through some of my blog stuff today and noticed that for some reason, this post I wrote a few days ago never posted, so, here it be. Apologies for the lateness.

I simply can’t say it any better than the folks over at Barstool Sports did with this one, so, enjoy!

“Jeter vs. A-Rod Summed Up in Two Photos”

jeter arod
[Barstool Sports]

09
Jul
09

There Goes Her Social Life

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball, Hot Women and Television
Tags: , ,

erin_andrews_sexy_4At last night’s Mets/Dodgers game Erin Andrews and the rest of the Wednesday night baseball ESPN crew were in attendance. Unfortunately for her, she got a ball in the face from Alex Cora when he hit a line drive foul in the 4th inning.

Now, less classy people would make plenty of balls on her chin jokes, but I’m way above that. I don’t need to stoop to that level. Indeed a lesser man might make plenty of oral sex jokes, or even deep-throating comments, but again, that’s not me. I’m all class.

Anyways, she was taken to the hospital a few innings later and her only injury was a bruised chin.

[TMZ]

09
Jul
09

Lightning Crashes

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: ,

tropToday’s game between the Tampa Bay Rays and Toronto Blue Jays was delayed for about 20 minutes when lightning struck the top of the Tropicana knocking out power to a bank of lights.

This is the second time it’s happened this season. They can’t get a new stadium fast enough, and the Trop is only 19 years old.

[WTSP]

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