One of the reasons why I dislike Kobe Bryant is that, like with Alex Rodriguez, he comes off as fake and his public persona seems totally forced and manufactured. Having said that, (nod, Larry David) he is absolutely SICK at basketball, take these two plays from Sunday’s Lakers/Thunder game, Kobe may be a giant douche but the man has skills.
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When we last heard about Mariana Kovacevic, the Serbian housewife/healer was treating Arsenal’s Robin Van Persie’s (right) injured ankle with a special massage using baby placenta. Today the Serbian health authorities are looking for the one-time pharmacology doctor turned physiotherapist who they say has been operating without a license and may be guilty of tax evasion as well.
The news reports are backtracking from saying the treatment involved babies, now saying that her unusual treatment methods use HORSE placenta instead. Regardless of the source of the placenta, there aren’t any complaints from her clients.
“It’s good, I’m happy. The woman is a miracle,” Van Persie was quoted after being treated at her apartment.
“Mariana is amazing,” said former Serbia player Dusan Petkovic.
“She saved the careers of several Serb and foreign players. All those muscle injuries, including ruptures, she is treating without a mistake.
“She uses a combination of electricity and the miracle gel that is her exclusive product. The electric current goes through a stick holding the gel, which is applied to the injured spot.”
(click the image if you’re anxious to see Hester’s butt in it’s full glory)
With just over a minute remaining in Eagles/Bears game Sunday, Bears QB Jay Cutler reached back and fired off a pass to Devin Hester in an effort to gain the crucial first down. The defense was all over Hester and he wasn’t able to corral the ball.
As a personal homage to the success of Twilight’s New Moon domination of the box office, Hester opted to show America the full moon.
Fresh after their heart-breaking, and illegitimate, loss to the French for World Cup qualifying, many Irish citizens are casting about for things to blame. Case in point, Henry brand vacuum cleaners.
Some custodians at an Irish government building told their supervisors that “they’re unhappy working with vacuum cleaners with the cheat’s name written on them.
“It’s bizarre because the machines have nothing whatsoever to do with Thierry Henry. Some have painted over the name on the cleaner and wiped the smile off its little red face. It just shows how the frustration caused by that goal has got to everyone in Ireland.”
[The Sun]
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Perronimo!
Saturday’s Islanders/Blues game ended in a St. Louis 4-1 victory and it was David Perron’s 3rd period goal that put the cherry on top of this sweet victory. From his own blue line Perron weaves his wave through two defenders before continuing his nifty moves to totally fake out the goaltender and fire it in to the net while falling. Well done sir.
There’s quite a controversy brewing down in Dallas over the Cowboys’ new stadium; while it features all the high-tech amenities fans could want, the lack of a flagpole apparently is rankling some folks.
According to team owner Jerry Jones, “Our stadium is so huge that you really have quite a challenge of displaying it so that everyone can see it,” he said. “So the place to see it the most clear is in the middle of the event [level].”
“The policy really is that the people that are in charge of the event make those arrangements relative to our anthem and recognition of the flag,” he continued.
It being Texas, many people believe that the only way you can show yourself to be patriotic is to have the flag displayed at all times, otherwise, you’re probably an unAmerican godless heathen.
Billy Joe Gabriel was appalled at the stadium’s lack of a flag, “I just always assumed there was a flag everywhere I went,” he said about sports arenas. “Now, I’ll be looking.”
After all, how would anyone watching the game on television know the game was being played in America, with the widespread popularity of football with thousands of professional teams playing all over the world — oh wait…
Jones also mentioned that the team hasn’t found an appropriate place to put the team’s 5 Super Bowl banners, but there hasn’t been any outcry over that.
In fact, there are very few permanent signs in place at the new stadium, nearly everything is presented on digital screens, allowing for versatility and easy changes.
“We have the ability to put things in and around that stadium that is a hundred times what we had at Texas Stadium,” Jones said. “But you do it digitally. We may very well have [the Super Bowl banners] on the digital boards before we’re through.”
Honestly, who gives a shit. So there’s no flag, if you came to a giant football stadium to stare at a flag you’re a giant asshole. It’s embarrassing enough that the only time people hear the National Anthem or think about it is at a sports game that has ZERO to do with America or Americans. Go to the game, watch the players and then leave, it’s sports, they serve as escapes, so please let the rest of us escape and keep your simple-minded protests regarding flag placement in your minute-sized brains.
Eric Wood was starting at right guard for the Buffalo Bills on Sunday, he’s been one of their better linemen all season, his season though is over after suffering a BRUTAL ankle injury. If you like to see sickening injuries, then click this video, if not, I’m sure cuteoverload has some new photos up or something…
The #1 pick in the NHL draft in 2008, Tampa Bay’s Steve Stamkos has a much more important place in the world; I recently picked him up for my fantasy hockey team where he’s been playing like gangbusters. Case in point, this super sweet goal he scored last night. It’s contributions like this that keep me not just in first place, but absolutely CRUSHING the “competition.”
Not content with Journey’s Steve Perry providing music for the Dodgers, Rush drummer Neil Peart has been hired by TSN to record a new version of the Hockey Theme for their NHL broadcasts.
The press release, which calls Peart “the world’s most accomplished and most-respected drummer/percussionist,” says that in addition to gathering together various other musicians and engineers to make his “vision” come true, Peart has also designed a special NHL-themed drum kit to record his version on.
The Canadian-born rocker said that, “having started out as a Canadian kid who skated on his ankles, and never made a hockey team, it is particularly sweet to be invited to be a part of this national institution – if not on skates, then on drums, performing Canada’s ‘second national anthem.’ At last I’ve made the Big Leagues!”
Adding to the schmaltz is TSN’s vice-president for production Mark Milliere who said: “To have a music legend and a member of Canada’s rock royalty like Neil Peart record his version of The Hockey Theme speaks volumes about the song’s place in psyche of hockey fans across the country and around the world. It is an honour to have Neil put his rock spin on this iconic tune and we’re extremely excited to add his interpretation to our NHL ON TSN broadcasts.”
[NewsWire]
Anaheim (Mighty) Duck Scott Niedermeyer generously skated over to the fans and gave away his stick the other night, tossing it over the boards. Showing true fellowship for their fellow man, it led to a fight between two Ducks fans jousting one another for the memento. Now you can enjoy making fun of these people from your computer!
Perry Fewell, the interim Buffalo Bills head coach shows his team the 10 commandments he has received from high above.
- I am the Head Coach
- Thou Shall have no other coach but I; because no one else would ever want this miserable job. You shall not worship any former Pro Bowlers (Terrell Owens) whose production is now miserable
- You shall not take the Bills name in vain, in fact, it’s better to not even mention us
- Keep Sundays as our Sabbath and use them as a day of rest, it won’t make a difference on the field anyways
- Honor our owner Ralph Wilson, he signs the checks
- You shall not murder, except the memories of Bills fans who remember the days when we were good
- You shall not seek out other teams for a trade or free agency, you must remain mired in mediocrity
- You shall not make any adjustments to your opponent, stick with what has gotten us this far
- You shall not give specious quotes to the media, abandon all hope
- You shall not covet to be on a better team, if you deserved to be there, you would be, you’re on the Bills for a reason.
It took 23 years before the first NFL team went undefeated; the nascent and unwatched UFL has had their first undefeated team in year one as SOMEHOW the Florida Tuskers managed to stay focused with all the thousands of reporters following the team. The Tuskers enter the playoffs 6-0 after two successful onside kicks to win 34-27 over the California Redwoods.
Anytime a team with Brooks Bollinger at QB and Jim Haslett as the head coach is facing you, you just KNOW you’re in trouble. If I were the rest of the UFL I’d just give up now, you just can’t beat that kind of talent.
[NBC]
The Slanch Report 
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