01
May
09

Swine Flu Attacks Foreheads Across the Nation!


Now, far be it from me to say that the semi-mass hysteria regarding swine flu is ridiculous, just because it is a media created pandemic as compared to, you know, an ACTUAL pandemic doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of fools to take it seriously. Right now I’m on a bus to Boston, and these are the two winners sitting across the aisle from me.  Unless they are aliens with second breathing apparatuses on the tops of their foreheads I don’t quite understand the surgical masks. What purpose do they serve not being worn? Is it a fashion statement? Because if so it’s a stupid one. They came onto the bus, not wearing them, then put them on for about a minute, then TOOK THEM OFF to eat their Chipotle burritos and the masks have since remained entrenched on their foreheads. I’m sure they’re both nice guys, but c’mon, don’t get sucked in by a bored media desperate for any story to hammer into the ground. And really, if this were a real pandemic that you might get sick from those masks aren’t going to be enough. You’d be better off ducking and covering.

img00064Call me crazy but I’d prefer to think of these two as the crazies and ME as the sane voice of reason out here in the wilderness.


4 Responses to “Swine Flu Attacks Foreheads Across the Nation!”


  1. May 1, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Absolutely ridiculous! Additionally, there’s no proof those masks even work if you don’t have the flu, they really only help if you do, so you don’t breathe all over other people. Ugh.

  2. 2 myummers
    May 1, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    damn look at the size of the nose of the guy in the foreground. is he wearing matt damon’s nose from ocean’s 13?

  3. 4 the roomate
    May 4, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    Maybe they were filming a sketch where they play doctors? Or returning from a long day cutting granite or drywalling?

    Or they are idiots. defend yourselves idiots! surely you read slanchreport daily like all people should?


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