Forget throw-down dunks or 75 foot shots, here is Allen Iverson throwing a 45 foot bounce pass, THROUGH THE DEFENSE’S LEGS to Rip Hamilton for the easy layup. That’s just damn impressive.
Archive for February, 2009
10
Feb
09
Iverson is Good at Basketball
09
Feb
09
Couldn’t You Just Take a Boat?
Swimming is fun, it’s relaxing, it is great exercise and of course, it is a chance to see the world. That is if you’re Jennifer Figge, a 56 year old woman from Aspen, Colorado, who just finished swimming from Cape Verde, Africa to Trinidad in the Caribbean.
Leaving on January 12, Figge braved 30 foot waves, high winds and of course, that simple 2100 mile swim. Originally she had intended to swim to the Bahamas but bad weather forced her to change her course, adding 1000 miles to her trip. You know, no big deal, what’s another 1000 MILES!!!!
Figge is the first woman to complete a solo swim trip across the Atlantic, alongside her was a sailboat that kept pace throughout the journey. Spending at most 8 hours in the water after waking at 7 AM and starting then, she’d have crew members toss her energy drinks as she went along. At night she would eat meat, fish and peanut butter, in an effort to replenish the estimated 8,000 calories she burned a day.
Don’t worry, she’s not done yet, Figge intends to continue on to the British Virgin Islands, where she expects to make land sometime later this month.
“I was never scared,” Figge said. “Looking back, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can always swim in a pool.”
I’m tired just thinking about this.
Early Sunday morning, former Atlanta Falcons running back Jamal Anderson, 36, was arrested after an off-duty cop witnessed him snorting cocaine off the toilet in a bar bathroom. Along with Anderson, Mark Daniel Hudson, 20 was in the stall, and a patron of the bar informed the cop that drug use was going on in the bathroom.
“The patron had heard what he thought was sniffing from inside the stall and told the off-duty officer,” police spokesman Otis Redmond said. “The officer went into the restroom, heard the same sniffing and peered over the stall door. He saw Jamal Anderson and Mark Hudson sniffing two lines of powdered cocaine off the back of the toilet.”
In addition, Anderson had a joint in his pocket to go along with his little baggie of coke. Here’s my issue, I’ve been to plenty of bars, classy ones and dives, and no matter what, in NONE of those bars would I EVER EVER EVER want to put my face anywhere close to the toilets. In any manner. Snorting cocaine is gross already, but to add doing it off a bar toilet is just hating yourself. That’s gotta be a surefire recipe for getting hepatitis right?
Finally, here is my other question to you Jamal Anderson, you’re a multi-millionaire, you serve as a commentator for ESPN, why in the world are you doing cocaine in a bar bathroom with some rando 20 year old kid? C’mon, at least have it be some hot girl or something so it isn’t as pathetic. I hear Atlanta is CRAWLING with hot ladies, and instead you’re partying with this dude?
09
Feb
09
Alfonzo Makes Return to Baseball
Here’s a news story special for loyal reader Youppi:
The Yomiuri Giants of Japan’s Central League have signed former major league infielder Edgardo Alfonzo to a one-year contract worth $380,000.
The Giants signed the 35-year-old Venezuelan after giving him a tryout at their spring training camp.
“It’s an honor to become a member of the Giants and I’ll play my hardest to contribute to the team,” Alfonzo said Monday.
Alfonzo has 1,532 hits and a .284 batting average over 12 seasons in the major leagues, mostly with the New York Mets with later spells with the San Francisco Giants, Los Angeles Angels and Toronto Blue Jays.
His last season in the majors was 2006 when he had 11 hits and five RBIs in 30 games with the Angels and Blue Jays.
Since leaving the majors, he had played in Mexico and in the independent Atlantic League.
I have nothing to add…
…except that this cover is hilarious.
09
Feb
09
Tennis Ladies, in Swimsuits!
There was a time when the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition was a major moment of the year for me, then you know, the internet happened and I didn’t have to live such a sad existence. That said, when I see that some of the photos get released early, and they happen to be of some super fine tennis players, I would be remiss not to post the leaked photos, crappy scans or not.
The three tennis ladies in question, Russian hotties Maria Kirilenko and Daniela Hantuchova, and French bombshell Tatiana Golovin may even have a chance at being on the cover. The announcement of who will be on the front of the book will be made tomorrow on the David Letterman television program. So, here are the leaked photos, courtesy of Off the Baseline and after the jump, a couple more of each young lady to remind us why they are so hot.
07
Feb
09
WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
According to 4 independent sources, Sports Illustrated is reporting that, in 2003, prior to winning the first of his 3 MVP awards and hitting 47 home runs, Alex Rodriguez tested positive for two different steroids. A-Rod was one of the 104 players who tested positive during that first round of testing, thus leading to the league’s current random drug testing process. Reportedly, Gene Orza, COO of the Players Association who is already in trouble for tipping a player off to an upcoming drug test also tipped A-Rod off to a test in 2004. The test results revealed that A-Rod had testosterone and Primobolan–a steroid that helps maintain lean muscle without adding too much bulk–in his system. Also Primobolan is preferred by many athletes because it doesn’t remain in the system as long as the Deca-Durabolin previously favored by athletes such as Jose Canseco.
WOW
WOW
WOW
WOW
I can’t decide if this is bigger than Bonds or Clemens, but it certainly ain’t good for baseball, A-Rod or the Yankees. Methinks that the best individual player in the game ever having his name involved in steroids, in any manner is damning and damaging. It’s not as though A-Rod has signed the two biggest contracts in the history of sports, or that he has millions of dollars in endorsement deals supposed to come his way. Or that he was supposed to be the savior of baseball’s home run record after Bonds tainted it up with his backne and butt needles. This is going to be a SHIT-STORM if it is true, and I don’t see why SI would have 4 independent sources that are lying to them. What’s worse, is that MLB knew that A-Rod had tested dirty and have been still holding him up as a beacon of purity. This is going to get ugly.
Also, this makes me happy because, you know, fuck A-Rod.
06
Feb
09
Save the Flowers, Save the World
Normally the only thing that stops a lacrosse game from happening is a totally sweet Coldplay concert, but in Pittsburgh, Franklin Park, a veritable hot spot for white dudes with sticks something else is gumming up the works. The Department of Conservation and Natural Resources informed the manager of the park that a rare blue buttercup flower may be growing in the area of the field.
There is no evidence the plant is growing anywhere on or near the land, said borough Manager Ambrose Rocca. However, the borough will probably have to hire a botanist to confirm the flower, which is listed as “critically imperiled” in Pennsylvania, is nowhere to be found.
No evidence, no flowers found, but they are going to search for it and delay building the field for at least a year. That’s some fine planning there.
Matt Bush was the first pick of the 2004 MLB amateur draft, he was a touted shortstop although was not considered the top prospect in the draft. Of course, expert scouts that the Padres are, that obviously led them to taking him with the first pick in the entire draft. A few years in the minors proving that he was unable to play in the field or hit a ball thrown towards him, Bush converted to being a pitcher. That didn’t go so well either. Yesterday the Padres released Bush who has undergone Tommy John surgery and has never advanced higher than High A ball.
The next player picked in the draft was Justin Verlander, who despite a down year last year has a no-hitter on his resume and is still considered one of the top young starters in the league. Among the other players the Padres could have drafted include Dustin Pedroia (2nd round), Huston Street (supplemental round), Stephen Drew (1st round), Yovani Gallardo (2nd round) or Hunter Pence (2nd round). But sure, wasting the number one overall pick is another strong strategy…
Oh yeah, and the reason the Padres are releasing Bush at long last? They signed Cliff Floyd. Yikes!
06
Feb
09
Curry for the Win
Stephen Curry might have been the top pick had he come out of college early last season, instead, he went back to school and is the top scorer in the country. In college basketball. Boring! However, he did shoot this awesome 75 footer in a game last night against the University of Tennessee-Chattanooga Mocs so that’s neat.
Also, I’d like an explanation why his name is Stehphen instead of Steeven.
05
Feb
09
Sandy, Sandy Baby
Yesterday a list with the 13,000 names of Bernie Madoff’s victims was released and there were some very interesting names on the list. For example, how Madoff could bilk Sandy Koufax out of his money is simply astonishing, he’s Sandy KOUFAX! How dare you Bernie. Sure, you cheat a bunch of other rich people, no big deal, but Sandy is the greatest Jewish baseball player ever, and you tried to ruin him! For shame.
Koufax it turns out went to high school with Mets owner Fred Wilpon who had millions of dollars invested with Madoff as well, so presumably we can also blame the Wilpons for hurting Koufax. Among the victims was also former Mets “star” Tim Teufel, currently the manager of the Mets’ entry in the Florida State League. How DARE you Madoff?
The Wilpons were heavily invested with Madoff, with Fred, Jeff, Jeff’s wife, Jeff’s sister, Jeff’s brother in law, multiple charity organizations, two Brooklyn Cyclones entities and various other Mets related businesses all losing millions of dollars. So that’s why there isn’t any money left in the budget for Manny…
As a Jew I’m ashamed with Bernie Madoff. Sure, taking $50 BILLION is bad, but I think we can all understand it, but to rob from SANDY KOUFAX!!!!?!?!?! Unacceptable. Madoff knew it was a scam, why didn’t he tell Sandy to invest elsewhere, it’s one thing to rob from fellow Jews, it’s quite another to rob from Sandy Koufax, and that is something I will never forgive.
[MSNBC]
04
Feb
09
Behind the Scenes at MLB Network
This past Monday, loyal reader and regular Slanchreport commenter ‘Youppi‘ got to visit the sets of the brand new MLB network in Secaucus, NJ as part of his job. In fact, when you watch the MLB network and see the big photos of players floating on screens in the background behind the main desk, Youppi picked them out. So, yeah, I got friends in high places.
04
Feb
09
Best Lions Jersey Ever?
The Slanch Report 
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