Posts Tagged ‘San Diego Padres


Another Example Why the Padres are Pathetic

of9ozoknMatt Bush was the first pick of the 2004 MLB amateur draft, he was a touted shortstop although was not considered the top prospect in the draft. Of course, expert scouts that the Padres are, that obviously led them to taking him with the first pick in the entire draft. A few years in the minors proving that he was unable to play in the field or hit a ball thrown towards him, Bush converted to being a pitcher. That didn’t go so well either. Yesterday the Padres released Bush who has undergone Tommy John surgery and has never advanced higher than High A ball.

The next player picked in the draft was Justin Verlander, who despite a down year last year has a no-hitter on his resume and is still considered one of the top young starters in the league. Among the other players the Padres could have drafted include Dustin Pedroia (2nd round), Huston Street (supplemental round), Stephen Drew (1st round), Yovani Gallardo (2nd round) or Hunter Pence (2nd round). But sure, wasting the number one overall pick is another strong strategy…

Oh yeah, and the reason the Padres are releasing Bush at long last? They signed Cliff Floyd. Yikes!


More Sanctioned Hazing

The hazing of baseball rookies continues! At Trevor Hoffman’s request the Padres rookies were dressed in Hooters outfits as part of their annual hazing ritual. It makes sense to me that Hoffman is a big Hooters fan, after all, the wings ARE delicious!

[Gas Lamp Ball]


The gents over at With Leather found this other fine photo of the Padres posing for photos in their Hooters garb. It’s almost enough to ruin Hooters for America.


This Guy Loves Only One Thing More than America


“Hey man, wanna go to the Yankees game against the Padres with me?”

“Definitely! Hey you know what will make us totally awesome and show everyone how much we care about baseball?”

“Bring an American flag to aimlessly hold when they do ‘God Bless America’!”

“You read my mind! Lemme just change into my lucky pot leaf shirt and I’ll be good to go.”

“I love weed!”

“Where are we going again?”


Of course, this isn’t the first time weed and sports have overlapped…


Albert Pujols is a One-Man Wrecking Crew

In last night’s game against the woeful San Diego Padres, Albert Pujols made it his business to ensure the Padres will remain in last place for the present and seemingly the rest of the season as well. That’s because in the third inning, off #2 starter Chris Young, Pujols hit a sharp liner right back at Young, breaking his nose instantly and knocking him onto his ass. With ace Jake Peavy placed on the DL only yesterday, this does not bode well for the Padres whose sole strength has been their pitching. Pujols however was not finished. Later in the third, while attempting to score from second, he slid into home plate twisting catcher Josh Bard’s ankle awkwardly and he was forced to leave the game as well. Both are likely to go onto the DL today.

After the game Pujols appeared contrite, but the damage was done. Now the Padres are going to be missing their top two pitchers and their starting catcher. For a team who scuffles to ever score any runs and whose pitching must dominate in order for them to have any chance whatsoever, this is not a good sign. Next up for Pujols is the dismantling of the Los Angeles Dodgers, expect Brad Penny to have his arm broken when Pujols rockets one into Penny’s shoulder.


Well, My Goodness That’s Long

I went to Shea “I’m a dump and please just close me now so the dopeness of CitiField can be enjoyed” Stadium last night for my first game there this season. It seemed like a perfect night, $5 tickets, the chance to see the apparently hapless Mets and the certainly woeful Washington Nationals, what more could I want? Well, the Nationals held the Mets down completely and handily–turns out having Brady Clark, Raul Casanova, Luis Castillo and then the pitcher is not a good lineup. Who would have thought it? Clearly not Willy Randolph who handled this game super poorly from the get-go. Anyhoo, managing only one run for most of the game and getting struck out 11 times by John “Can you imagine that the Mets are this pathetic right now” Lannan, it seemed very likely the Mets would lose. The single most exciting part of the game came when a giant tabby cat ran out of nowhere onto the field and towards the Mets dugout. It received a louder cheer than most of the players.

Completely surprising most of the crowd who were already resigned to a loss, Carlos Delgado came through in the clutch and drove in the tying run. The game ended up going 14 boring innings. Scrub pitcher after scrub pitcher got into the game, there was even a Ray “I ate 19 slices of pie before the game” King sighting! Not a very interesting game. The Mets had multiple opportunities to win the game but squandered them. Raul Casanova alone ruined most of the rally chances, and when he didn’t totally shut the door, Luis Castillo did. That 4 year 24 million dollar contract must have weighed down Castillo’s bat because it is pitiable slow, that’s what we call a shrewd investment, don’t worry, he’s only in the first year of that contract!

Regardless, the Mets eventually won in the 14th on a wild pitch. Terrible.

That didn’t end my baseball night though. Upon arriving home I noticed that the Padres-Rockies game was still tied at 0-0 heading towards extra innings. I caught up on this week’s Deadliest Catch (it was ok, but not the best episode or anything) and then looked at that game again, they were heading into the 13th. So, I figured I’d jump along for the ride.

Matt Vasgerian was calling the game for the Padres TV and announced that there was no way the game would go as many innings as 18, and if it did, he’d eat his hat. The 14th comes around and the Rockies managed to get the bases loaded, which is impressive considering they managed 2 extra base hits, then Brad Hawpe (who otherwise went 0-7 with 4 Ks (thanks for killing my fantasy team with that one) walked to score the first run of the game. In the 14th! But then, with their own bases loaded situation, the Padres scrapped together a run. So we headed to the 15, the 16th and then the 17th. As the 18th approached the announcers were clearly going a bit loopy having long ago run out of useful or interesting things to say. After the inning finished, Vasergian was presented a hat on a paper plate to eat and as they went to commercial they showed him trying to cut it with a fork and a knife while his booth partner laughed manically alongside. Also, for some inexplicable reason, they played the Oingo Boingo song “Weird Science,” tres tres bizarre.

Continue reading ‘Well, My Goodness That’s Long’


Annual Rite of the MLB Season #42

Today, the San Diego Padres as expected placed Mark Prior on the 60-day DL while he rehabs from shoulder surgery. For Prior this is a return to a place he knows best, having been on the DL at some point every year since 2003 and hasn’t pitched a full season since Dusty Baker destroyed his career and future that same year.

I for one hope that he comes back. I’ve always like Prior because his curve ball is sick, his mechanics are flawless and because I drafted him in the first round of a fantasy draft like an idiot in 2004. Also, I drafted him this year in one of my fantasy leagues as my final pick, and think that, if he can be healthy, we could see maybe 8-11 wins and 130 Ks from June forward. Maybe.


Continue reading ‘Annual Rite of the MLB Season #42’

Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

December 2022