Archive for February 26th, 2009


NBA Teams are Going Bankrupt!


The NBA has taken out a line of credit worth $175 million today to help teams who are having a hard time meeting expenses. Reportedly 15 teams requested assistance from the league with each team receiving no more than $11.66 million. JP Morgan and Bank of America reached out to the league apparently, not the other way around, offering some assistance, which is especially nice to see. After all, if the millionaire/billionaire owners of the NBA teams need a hand I’m glad that the banking institutions are ready and eager to help them with a loan, you know, as opposed to the millions of Americans who need a loan to keep buying food, not for stocking up jet fuel for charter flights.

Low attendance, poor play and worse management have led to this “crisis” for these various teams, I also feel confident that a lot of the issues can be blamed on Isiah Thomas, because, you know, why not.

There is even a report that the salary cap might be LOWERED next season from $59 to $57 million and that this whole situation could lead to another labor showdown in 2011, which would be PHENOMENAL for the NBA since the last lockout worked so well…

[Washington Times]


ANOTHER Scam in the Stock Market

08-01-17_money8The hits keep coming for the uber-rich as more and more scams are being uncovered in the financial sectors. First there was Madoff, then Robert Allen Stanford and now, two men who used to own the New York Islanders have been charged with stealing $553 million from charities and pension plans in order to buy luxury items for themselves.

Paul Greenwood, and Stephen Walsh, two of the “Gang of Four” owners of the NY Islanders from 1991 to 1996, have been arrested on charges of securities and wire fraud and were taken to Manhattan Federal Court. The two made outlandish promises of performance to investors the likes of the University of Pittsburgh and Carnegie Mellon University dating back to 1996 and continuing up until last month.

The Gang of Four sold their 100% stake in the Islanders after the team kept losing millions of dollars, later that year reportedly Greenwood and Walsh began their conspiracy to commit fraud.

Don’t worry though, sure the charities and non-profit institutions they robbed are out some money but it wasn’t squandered. Greenwood and Walsh spent $168 million on such necessary items as “rare books bought at auction, horses and a lavish home for Walsh’s ex-wife Janet…They spent as much as $80,000 on mohair Steiff teddy bears, which are German-made.”

Take that unemployed fuckers!

Is anyone else amazed how many people were just flat out scamming folks in the stock market? It’s fucking ridiculous!



A Lot of Celebrating for a Little Ball

You don’t usually think of ping-pong and excessive celebrations, which is I guess where comedian Adam Bobrow is coming from in making this video. It’s not HILARIOUS but he does have some pretty good dance moves and I’d love to see real athletes do something like this…


Phelps’ Image is Bad, Bring in a Sheen!

You might have heard that Michael Phelps was captured in a picture smoking a bong, I recall hearing something about it, but it got mostly ignored by the mainstream media. Well, the aftershocks of that photo continue to reverberate, first he lost his Kellogg’s cereal sponsorship deal and now, he has been taken off three motivational speaking events, presumably because he is no longer inspirational as a one-time pot smoker.

The company organizing the seminars, “Power Within” seems to have conflicted thoughts about the whole thing seeing as Phelps is still on to be a part of an event called “Get Motivated!” He will be appearing via satellite with other luminaries such as Rudy Guiliani, Steve Forbes and Colin Powell.

However, Phelps has been asked to not appear at three other events, 2 in Canada and one at Radio City Music Hall in New York.

Don’t worry though, Phelps, who blazed his way to a record 8 Olympic gold medals this past summer was replaced for the Canadian events with a sober, responsible adult, Martin Sheen. Now, don’t get me wrong, if President Bartlett were to show up THAT is a big coup for the seminar, but Martin Sheen–who has been sober reportedly for about 19 years and is the proud papa of Charlie Sheen who is a womanizing, whore-visiting former addict who has OD’d before–may not be the most obvious about-face.


Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

February 2009