Shawn Johnson Causes Disasters

While en route to an appearance on The David Letterman show, Shawn Johnson’s plane was delayed because of her mere appearance. Apparently, upon hearing that she was on the plane the pilot got too excited and banged his head, forcing him to get stitches. Now, Johnson is cute, in that “I’m a chipmunk except  actual chipmunks are bigger than me sort of way,” but I don’t understand all the grown male attention being thrown her way, after all, she IS only 16… Regardless, you have to be at a pretty special point in your life when, as an airline pilot, the greatest moment is when Shawn Johnson gets on your plane. I have to believe that the other pilots at the airport bar will be constantly ragging on this pilot for the rest of his career, or at least they should be. Leryn Franco? Sure, get excited. Any of the other hot olympians, why not. But c’mon dude, she’s 16 and traveling with her parents. You really think you’re going to go back there, introduce yourself and she’s going to just fall for you instantly. And another thing, why are you so into gymnastics, the more I think about it, the more this pilot is getting more and more suspect. I definitely don’t want to ever fly on a plane with a man who gets THAT excited by a teenager.

Among the other crazed Shawn Johnson fans were the Chinese boys who held up signs proposing marriage to her from the upper tiers in the gymnastics stadium. Nothing makes a girl’s heart swoon more than a complete stranger asking her to spend the rest of her life with them. I find that asking always makes for more problems and denials, a small bottle of ether does the trick just as well and besides, who doesn’t like being chained to a radiator. It worked in Black Snake Moan right? I mean, I never saw it, but they fell in love right?

3 Responses to “Shawn Johnson Causes Disasters”

  1. 1 Mike
    August 28, 2008 at 12:57 am

    Or maybe he was excited there was someone famous on the plane. The Airline carrer is not as exciting as you think so yes, I can see this happening and dont say he is a bad Pilot because of it.

  2. August 28, 2008 at 9:18 am

    I don’t think it makes him less of a pilot, but it certainly makes him less respectable in my eyes. Also, someone who is unable to stand without hurting oneself doesn’t inspire much in the way of confidence, particularly when it comes to flying. Mainly though, no self-respecting grown male should ever get that excited over a chipmunk faced 16 year old gymnast

  3. August 28, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    HAHAHA! That’s funny, very cute and not comforting.

    It’s almost like people don’t even see a chipmunk-faced 16-year-old gymnast…I mean I don’t know what they see. Americans have a bad habit of not treating people like the age that they are.

    I enjoyed this article.

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