Archive for August 5th, 2008

05
Aug
08

Elvis Lives! Elvis Gets Wet! Elvis Gets Arrested!

Last night’s Cubs/Astros tilt was halted for a while thanks to tornado warnings and intense lightning storms. The grounds crew rushed the tarp out onto the field and within minutes the giant piece of plastic became an all-too-tempting slid n’ slide. We’ve seen some Rangers players this year unable to resist and go sliding, which apparently the security folk don’t mind, (I’d guess the players’ GMs do…) but apparently, if you’re just some normal dude who goes to Cubs games dressed up as Elvis, a classic baseball fan tradition–in fact I believe Abner Doubleday used to do it too, although at the time everyone thought he was kind of a dandy–the security and police folk take umbrage. It just doesn’t seem fair to me, after all, he is the King.

[Fan IQ]

05
Aug
08

Rice in the Water is Oh So Nice

When the Olympics start in a few days there are a few events and sports that I am more excited for than others, for example, beach volleyball will I’m sure receive high Nielson ratings in the Slanchelor Pad. One of my favorite athletes at the games, Australian swimmer Stephanie Rice, has been making some headlines recently because she broke up with her fellow Aussie swim team member boyfriend before the games so that they could both concentrate on their events, and for posing in FHM on the eve of the games, Both sound like great reasons to be in the news to me!

I’d post the FHM photos, but frankly, they’re fairly tame, and to me, this ad campaign she did with her then-boyfriend for an underwear company are significantly more interesting. So, now that she’s single, I just need you friendly readers to come up with enough cash to buy me a ticket to Beijing and she and I can get started on our life together. So dig deep gang.

05
Aug
08

Punter Kicks Crap out of Video Game

Being a pro football player is cool and all, but Chris Kluwe is the punter on the Minnesota Vikings so, you know, he’s not THAT cool. When he’s not being pushed around by the bigger boys on the team or getting ready for the 5 plays a game he’ll be involved in, Kluwe has another skill, one that doesn’t translate too much onto the field, he’s an incredible Guitar Hero player.

Kluwe believes he’s one of the top 100 players in the world on the game; among his exploits are having beaten the Guiness World Record holder and getting picked up by Activision (the game’s manufacturer) to play as a ringer in a contest the company held.

Joe Knapp, a Vikings fan and patron at the restaurant where Kluwe was “rocking out” the other day for the article, was definitely impressed by Kluwe’s prowess. “I’ve actually been to some tournaments at the malls and stuff like that. I’ve never seen anybody that good, that quick. A lot of people have trouble playing on medium or hard. He’s playing on expert. For a guy that basically has a full-time job (with the Vikings), that’s pretty impressive.” Knapp than admitted that he can’t get past the easy level and broke down in tears describing the Guitar Hero tournaments at the local Gamestop as the greatest moments of his life and something about how he’ll never know such happiness again.

Continue reading ‘Punter Kicks Crap out of Video Game’




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

August 2008
M T W T F S S
« Jul   Sep »
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Categories