The Slanch Report

According to that bastion of hard-hitting journalism, The Sun, Jessica Simpson has been using a webcam to stay in touch with her boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo as training camp gets underway. However, she isn’t just checking in about the weather and what T.O. is wearing, she’s been doing sexy-style strip teases for him. The story quotes one of her “pals” as saying “Jess has no problem showing Tony her favorite ‘Pussycat Dolls’ routine. She will dance in front of her camera until she makes her man happy.” Which makes her a totally awesome girlfriend but does show that her friends are total scumbags. The “friend” added: “Jess does get paranoid, making sure Tony doesn’t have any of his Cowboys buddies peeking in on the show.”

Well, I challenge you readers to make Jessica Simpson’s paranoia real, no, not about her creepy Dad and about why he cut that hole in the bathroom to watch her showering, but instead, we must harness our powers together and somehow hack into that webcam stream. That video could be worth millions! C’mon gang let’s work together!