We’ll start off with the American League East, home to the best three teams in all of baseball, (sorry South Korea) and the likely winner of the American League Pennant. Join us after the jump for the full divisional roundup.
Archive Page 97
This Year In Baseball – AL EAST
We’re Going to Kansas City!
Yesterday the Kansas City Royals and their new food provider — and minority Red Sox owners — Aramark held a press conference to show off some of the new food options available this season at Kauffman Stadium. The new fare looks delicious, none more so than this 24 ounce bone-in buffalo rib-eye with onion rings. Yum!
The rest of the new options all look delicious too, and with many analysts projecting a leap forward for the Royals, who knows, maybe the awesome food dishes will match up with the play on the field. In the meantime, I like my buffalo steak medium rare.
How Mommy and Daddy Met
Corey Hart jacked a home run yesterday off Danny Haren but the real hero of the play was an alert fan who tracked the ball off the bat and makes a great play on the grassy knoll. The ball gets knocked out of his glove by the ground, but the fan manages to do the more important thing, saving the bikini’d hottie who was sunbathing from getting an unexpected ball to the face.
This is how romance starts; reminds me of the end of the cinema classic, Speed.
Sandra Bullock: You didn’t leave me. I can’t believe it. You didn’t leave me.
Keanu Reeves: Didn’t have anywhere to be just then. I have to warn you; I’ve heard relationships…based on intense experiences never work.
SB: OK…we’ll have to base it on sex, then.
KR: Whatever you say, ma’am.
I Think I Like Cricket Now
I consider myself someone very smart when it comes to understanding sports, but I’ll be damnded if I can figure out what the hell goes on during a cricket game. However, this NSFW video shows me that sometimes you can just enjoy the game’s broadcast; even if you have no idea what is otherwise happening on the screen. Thanks anonymous lady cricket fans!
Vodpod videos no longer available.Tigers Pull the Ol’ Switcheroo
For yesterday’s game with the Braves, in a team-unity measure, Curtis Granderson got his Tigers teammates together and they decided to trade uniform tops before their game. Magglio Ordonez went out in Hall of Famer Al Kaline’s jersey, while Justin Verlander traded in his top for Gerald Laird’s. Newly named closer Fernando Rodney played kiss-up a little, going out to the mound as Fernando Leyland.
“Fernando asked if he could wear my shirt,” Leyland said. “So I let him. I had a pretty good change-up, didn’t I?”
When Leyland was asked about Magglio’s day, after he went 0-4, Leyland quipped, “Not a Hall of Fame day.”
[Det News]
Aprils Fool’s Day used to be so much fun before the Internet. Now everyone feels the need to show how incredibly clever they are by coming up with fake news stories or gadgets or what have you. I just find myself hating to use the Internet that day because instead of finding real information you just get crap and a day without Internet?!!!?
That said, as I reported yesterday, and suspected, the news that President Obama was telling Chrysler and GM that acceptance of government funds would require them to pull out of NASCAR was in fact, fake.
Tony Stewart, one of the top racers and a team owner himself had this to say regarding the prank:
“I know that talking to the people at Chevrolet they’re very committed to the racing program. They realize the value of it with not only the rest of corporate America but what it does to our nation. It still goes back to ‘win on Sunday, sell on Monday.’ This is a sport that’s been good for the auto industry and vice versa.
Which of course, is no longer the case, but then I wouldn’t expect NASCAR to be current with facts and data. And while this was a prank, it wouldn’t be surprising if this is something the government seriously looks into. If they are going to tell Citibank and automaker executives that they need to cut down on their silly expenditures like private planes and the like, why wouldn’t wasting hundreds of millions of dollars in sponsorship dollars be better spent elsewhere, instead of essentially the government sponsoring auto sports. Fortunately, that would never happen.

Not content with sucking while playing in the easiest division in the NFL and distraught over the retirement of Mike Holmgren, the Seattle Seahawks have plans for a third, alternate jersey. The uniform, tastefully colored in Snot Green should be a big seller amongst kids who want to get beat up by bullies. I’d recommend wearing a Rick Mirer version of this uniform for EXTRA beatdowns. These uniforms are the ultimate combination of fail and suck.
A Doppelganger on the Dark Side
Bob Sheppard has been the voice of the Yankees and Yankees Stadium since 1951, but will miss this year’s opening day due to illness. Sheppard, who is in his late 90s is probably the most iconic announcer in the history of announcers and it is unfortunate that the first voice to be heard over the loudspeakers at the new Yankee Stadium won’t be his. While all accounts have Sheppard down as a gentleman, that just means he’s the “good” doppelganger. Emperor Palpatine, on the other hand, was a man set on power, much like Sheppard’s boss, George Steinbrenner, and who would let nothing slow him down. I think these two share quite the resemblance and whether you agree or not, make sure you vote in the poll below!
And for all the other doppelgangers, make sure you visit our doppelgangers page here!
Yesterday was the magic hour for Eric Sweet’s 10-Jew snowboard and the ride featured mixed results. They got up, did some turns but as was to be expected, struggled initially getting down an entire run. Regardless, I think Judaism can consider yesterday a victory for all of its people even if the participants themselves were unsure.
“This has the potential for disaster. Obviously, we’ve never done this before,” said Joshua Beck, prior to the first run. Beck, of course, is also an orthopedic surgeon and his mother is very proud of him and she brags to her friends all the time around the pool in Florida about her son, the doctah.
“We are 10 Jews celebrating not necessarily inside a synagogue but celebrating God and celebrating the beauty of this area as Jews together on the minyan board,” said Rabbi Zalman Mendelsohn, who was worshipping in the snow.
Eventually, after several spills, they put it all together, and as a group are able to carve their way down the mountain. This is more inspirational than Masada and Channukah put together! Also, I love that the 2 girls, 1 cup, phenomena has spread to the extent that newscasters can refer to it, even obliquely, during their broadcasts, now that’s progress!
Check it out and make sure you watch the video below too, if only to fully enjoy Eric Sweet’s crazy wooly-mammoth jacket, (he’s the guy in the back in the picture below.)
edited to add: After receiving an email from “Louise” who is the person who also commented below, who says she is a member of the “Minyan Snowboard Management Team” the silly jacket that Eric Sweet is wearing is a $5,000 buffalo coat, from one of the sponsors of the board. So, that’s neat I suppose, besides the fact that it looks ridiculous, and this is coming from someone who prides himself on his ridiculous wardrobe.
Hasheem Thabeet is a gigantic man who will be drafted this June by an NBA team looking for the next Hakeem Olajuwan but are more likely to get the next Yu Jianlin instead. Regardless, the UConn Junior has a pretty good sense of humor, as evidenced by a twitter post he put up today in celebration of April Fool’s Day.
Wait, This is BAD For Me?
The internet was abuzz a few weeks ago with the 4,800 calorie burger due to be offered by the West Michigan Whitecaps minor league baseball team and now a vegan advocacy group is trying to get in on the action.
The 4-pound, $20 burger features five beef patties, five slices of cheese, nearly a cup of chili and liberal doses of salsa and corn chips — all on an 8-inch bun looks, sounds and most likely is absolutely delicious, if also terrifyingly nauseating.
Susan Levin, a staff dietitian for the Washington-based Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, disagrees, and so she sent a letter to the Grand Rapids minor-league team on Tuesday asking that the 4,800-calorie burger be labeled a “dietary disaster” that increases the risk of cancer and heart disease.
Um, no shit! Do these vegans think that anyone looking at that burger would believe that it was healthy or good for you in any possible way? For chrissakes, it weighs 4 pounds! I mean, look at the thing, it screams out “HEART ATTACK,” but if you’re too retarded to know that in the first place do you really think a warning is going to make any difference. I don’t think anyone is at the food stand deciding between a hot dog or this monstrosity and then comparing calories. If you’re gonna order this behemoth, you know it walking in the gates. But of course, the vegans are too busy thinking they’re better than everyone else and so are trying to make news with this story. I’d like a warning to be attached to all vegan food from now on, “Warning: eating this does not equal eating real food and is likely to make you a sanctimonious asshole that no one wants to be around. Also, we make the fake meats look like real meat because you know you’d rather eat the deliciousness that is real food instead.”
The team has no intention of removing the item or putting a warning on.
[MSNBC]
Nice Shots!
Since I can’t seem to stop posting soccer and hockey videos today, here’s another post with two pretty awesome shots one from each sport.
The first features Linus Omark a young Swedish forward playing in a friendly between his country and Switzerland. The game went into a shootout and this is one of the prettiest, sweetest shootout goals I’ve ever seen. Enjoy!
Then, here is an excellent long-range shot from the soccer world. Eat your heart out Beckham.














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