Archive Page 147

01
Oct
08

Kenny Mayne Actually Entertains!

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Random and Television
Tags: , , , , , ,

I’m scared for all of us, but ESPN has produced something that looks like it might actually be fun and enjoyable and not a super crazy cross-promotional bullshit thing where we hear all about Pushing Daisies. At least so far. This ad, for the upcoming Mayne Street, the new Kenny Mayne skein is pretty hilarious, not least of all because it features a bunch of people I know, including my extremely hilarious friend Ben as Evan Mintz an ESPN boss. I hope I didn’t break the fourth wall too much on you guys with that revelation. Anyhoo, enjoy.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

[Awful Announcing via With Leather]

01
Oct
08

Bengals Add to Their All-DUI Team

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Douches and Football
Tags: , ,

The Cincinnati Bengals, owners of an 0-4 record that doesn’t look to get any better with this week’s matchup against the Cowbows added to their roster of malcontents and miscreants by signing former Bears running back Cedric Benson. Of all the teams in the league, Benson made the best possible choice. After all, no one else is so open and accepting of DUI’s and a player of the versatility of Cedric Benson, who can garner a DUI on land and sea should markedly help the team. The Bengals, who have made more headlines off the field than on in recent years seem to have accepted that if they can’t win on the field they might as well make news off the field. I just hope the Bengals players take to Benson more than his Bears teammates did since the Bears tried to injure him in practice so Thomas Jones could play instead…

[Sports Illustrated]

01
Oct
08

Regular Season Award Winners

By slanch 18 Comments
Categories: Baseball
Tags:

Because I know no one out there is content unless they know who I think should win the various regular season awards, here are my picks.

AL MVP

Pedroia
Morneau
Sizemore
Youkilis
Quentin

NL MVP

Pujols
Howard
(Edited to add) Braun
Johan
CC
Manny

AL Cy Young

Cliff Lee
Halladay
K-Rod
Lester

NL Cy Young

Johan
Lincecum
Webb
Lidge

AL Rookie of the Year

Evan Longoria

NL Rookie of the Year

Geovany Soto

AL Manager of the Year

Joe Maddon
Terry Francona
Ron Gardenhire

NL Manager of the Year

Lou Pinella
Tony La Russa
Joe Torre

01
Oct
08

TBS Tortures the Mets

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , , ,

As if their late season collapse wasn’t bad enough, TBS decided to rub some salt into the wounds of Mets fans with some of their billboards in Times Square. That’s because TBS decided to feature on their ads Mets slugger David Wright as an enticement to watch the playoffs. OOPS! Well, at least it was Josh Beckett with D-Wright up there as opposed to like Derek Jeter or something… However, if I were TBS I’d watch out for firebombs from angry Mets fans.  

[NY Post]

30
Sep
08

Quelle Surprise

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , ,

Al Davis finally, after leaving his coach to hang in the wind for essentially the entire season, fired the overmatched Lane Kiffin this afternoon. Now, with that albatross off their necks expect the Raiders to go undefeated from here out because of all that really excellent talent that Davis has assembled…Here is an actual photo of Davis immediately after.

You know, he doesn’t look half-bad… better than usual. Maybe he feasted on Kiffin’s young blood first.

30
Sep
08

A Look Back at Pre-Season Predictions

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags:

Below is the link to my pre-season predictions on how the 2008 season would turn out. Looks like that pick of the Mariners was pretty terrible, and I totally screwed up on the AL Central but I DID pick the Rays to finish above .500 although clearly did not expect them to finish in first. C’est la vie…I also picked a Red Sox/DBacks series so, take my new predictions tomorrow with a ton of salt. I may have gotten most of my picks wrong, at least I NAILED the Nats finishing last! Let’s take a trip down to the halcyon days of late March when every team but the Pirates and Royals has a chance.

UGH! In parentheses is the actual finishing position of each team.

Al East

Red Sox (2)
Yankees (3)
Anti-Christ Rays (1)
Blue Jays (4)
Orioles (5)

AL Central

Detroit (5)
Cleveland (3)
Minnesota (1)
Chicago (1)
KC (4)

AL West

Seattle (4)
Anaheim (1)
Texas (2)
Oakland (3)

NL East
Mets (2)
Braves (4)
Phillies (1)
Marlins (3)
Nats (5)

NL Central
Chicago (1)
Cinncinati (5)

Milwaukee (2)
St louis (4)
Houston (3)
Pittsburgh (6)

NL West
Arizona (2)
LA (1)
Colorado (3)
Padres (5)
Giants (4)

WC: Cleveland (Red Sox)
WC: LA (Brewers)

Red Sox over Dbacks in 6 (TBD)

30
Sep
08

I Got PLAYOFF FEVER!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , ,

Who else is excited for the MLB playoffs! Actually, I’m not even that excited yet, I’m sure once the games start I will be, but at the moment it all feels very hum-drum. Oh well. Anyways, here are my predictions now that all of the teams and matchups are set.

ALDS

Red Sox over Angels in 5

Rays over White Sox in 4

ALCS

Red Sox over Rays in 6

NLDS

Phillies over Brewers in 4

Cubs over Dodgers in 4

NLCS

Cubs over Phillies in 5

World Series

Red Sox over Cubs in 5

World Series MVP, Jon Lester

Join us below the jump for some more thoughts.

Continue reading ‘I Got PLAYOFF FEVER!’

30
Sep
08

Ricky Williams Wants to Get High

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , , ,
Hmm, this would be a lot better if I was holding a joint...

This would be a lot more interesting if I was holding a joint...

Dolphins running back and weed afficianado Ricky Williams, who has tested positive for weed 4 times in the NFL’s substance program, as well as taking an entire season off so he could go smoke on the beaches of Asia told reporters that over the bye week he was tempted to blaze it down. Surprise!

Blaming the extra free time off, Williams said, ” [The temptation is] greater because, like, Thursday, coach told us we had Friday off, so automatically your mind, which is so constrained since training camp began — every day is a grind, it’s a grind, it’s a grind — and then Coach says `you’re free.’ And the mind says, `I’m free, what can I do?'” Clearly you roll up a joint made out of the New York Times and spark that shit!

But no, the once awesomely dreadlocked Williams conquered his temptation and resisted, by MEDITATING. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. “‘I’ve done a lot of work at understanding myself a little bit more,” Williams said. “So I recognize [the urge] was just a result of the feeling of being free, and I was just trying to maximize it. And I realize that I really enjoy meditating and when I can go home and sit in my room and meditate, I can get the same feeling.” Wait, is that true? Get high and not pay or smoke? Hmmm… maybe Ricky is onto something… Continue reading ‘Ricky Williams Wants to Get High’

30
Sep
08

High School is Hard

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Douches, Hazing and Random
Tags: , , ,

So this video hit the ol’ tubes sometime yesterday and it is being purported to be a tape of the Melbourne (Florida) High School volleyball team being hazed. Even if it isn’t that school it’s still a tape of high schoolers being douchebags to one another and for that, I can post it here. If it is the volleyball team then it CERTAINLY belongs, seeing as how I love hazing!

This hazing is a little bit strange, it starts with the girls being dressed as clowns, OK, standard stuff, I’m enjoying it so far. Then the girls are herded into a circle and the random boys at this party then mercilessly beat them with pillows. I’m not quite clear on the reason for this part. It seems to me that if you’re going to allow non-team members beat the shit out of your hazees you might as well just get some mafia goons to break kneecaps. I feel like it is a violation of hazing etiquette to let the boys in. Also, at 5:50 in the clip one of the boys says “Raping is tiring,” so that’s fun! The video is a little long and punctuated with high school girls being shrill and loud, but it’s certainly interesting. After the pillow beating the senior girls take the hazees off to a beach where they will be egged and floured. Even MORE fun!

[Bad Jocks]

29
Sep
08

Brewers Fans Have Suffered For Too Long

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: ,

You might remember the Brewers fans last year who pledged to pee their pants if the team could actually make the playoffs for the first time since 1982. Or maybe you don’t well, regardless, after yesterday’s victory and subsequent Mets loss, the Brewers were IN, and “Brewers Mike” the creator of peeyourpantsforthebrewers.com lived up to his promise. Joining him so far are another 7206 crazed Brewers fans. To be fair, it’s unclear how many of these fans would have peed their pants irrespective of the outcome thanks to their weekly brat and beer intake. I don’t want to take too much away from the Brewers’ accomplishments and their fans dedication though, so, by all means enjoy this video, one of many that will be up on youtube as the fans live up to their pledge. Congratulations for now Milwaukee.

[Sports by Brooks and Pee Your Pants For the Brewers]

29
Sep
08

Jets Fans Party the Best!

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags: , ,

Jets fans, already showing poor judgement in actually being JETS fans, are clearly diseased in the brains. Take for example this smart person who parked their car in the Meadowlands’ lot and headed out into the game. Unfortunately for them, they parked their car on top of smoldering coals! Good thing too because I’m almost positive gasoline and charcoal are best buds. I do however LOVE the dude hanging out enjoying his cigar and surveying the scene, now THERE is a man who knows how to enjoy the finer car fires in life.

[With Leather]

29
Sep
08

Continuing the Celebration Mishaps

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , , ,

Here is Phillies erstwhile ace/closer/minor leaguer Brett Myers celebrating the Phillies clinching their playoff spot as the NL East winners. Myers, a noted feminist cum wife-beater, shows how he respects and appreciates women even more by showering local reporter Jamie Apody with a beer bukkake explosion. I love Myers and the other Phillies raiding the tub of beer like they are college sophomores sneaking into a party and putting all the beer in their pockets. Scared to drink champagne boys? Are you concerned that if you don’t pound Bud Lights as you spray them all over your teammates that people might start to talk?

[The Fightin’s via Awful Announcing]

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