Edna Jamanski is a top-line US synchronized swimmer, she started at age 15 and almost immediately became one of the top US athletes in the sport. So, when the Olympic trials were held in February it was widely assumed that she was an easy pick for the team.
“The girls were going through their routine, Chopin’s Ocean Etude Opus 25 No. 12 struggling to rise above the cheering crowd, when all of a sudden the pool started turning a bright, bright red,” Susan Jackson, Jamanski’s mentor said. “I know it’s crazy, but my first thought was Shark attack! How can we work it into the routine? But nope, it was just Edna, executing a flawless spin and pissing in the pool.”
An anti-corrosive, diethyl-ethanolamine, was blamed for the marking effect and, while peeing in the pool does not preclude one necessarily from being on the team, it was apparently enough for the selection committee to opt for someone else to place on the team.
“It was horrible. Everyone started calling me Redna, and no one wanted to swim with me,” Jamanski says. “I eventually had to quit. People can be so cruel, but I’m moving on.”
Now the teenager, who suffers from a hereditary incontinence issue is currently serving as a guest lecturer for the urinary incontinence group Go-Anon, and wants to someday return to the water with her own aquatic version of The Vagina Monologues which sounds like absolute TORTURE for an audience. She’s disappointed to not go to the Olympics certainly, but is taking it in stride saying, “Gold is nice, sure, but it’s so fleeting,” Jamanski advises. “Make your own gold every day, and you won’t go wrong.”
Also, don’t pee in the pool.
[Cap News]
You spend your whole life getting ready for the Olympics, thousands of hours practicing, giving up everything in your life so that when the time comes, in your own home country, you can shine. The day of your event comes, the moment you’ve waited a lifetime for and you arrive at the venue only to be informed that you were in the second heat, not the third and are now disqualified. This is what happened to Chinese rower Zhang Liang who qualifies as the most embarrassed athlete at the games so far. Even worse, because he didn’t qualify for the singles rowing competition he also is disqualified from the doubles event as well, thus screwing not just himself but also his partner who must be a big fan of Liang right now. In typically understated Chinese manner, the director of Chinese water sports Wei Di stated simply, “This shows we still have some problems in team organization.” Good call!
Because most of the swimming events are underway or already finished, most of the news coming from the Olympics so far have centered on those athletes. For example, Tom Daley, the 14 year old diving prodigy 
The Slanch Report 
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