Posts Tagged ‘Edna Jamanski

14
Aug
08

We Don’t Swim in Your Toilet…

Edna Jamanski is a top-line US synchronized swimmer, she started at age 15 and almost immediately became one of the top US athletes in the sport. So, when the Olympic trials were held in February it was widely assumed that she was an easy pick for the team.

“The girls were going through their routine, Chopin’s Ocean Etude Opus 25 No. 12 struggling to rise above the cheering crowd, when all of a sudden the pool started turning a bright, bright red,” Susan Jackson, Jamanski’s mentor said. “I know it’s crazy, but my first thought was Shark attack! How can we work it into the routine? But nope, it was just Edna, executing a flawless spin and pissing in the pool.”

An anti-corrosive, diethyl-ethanolamine, was blamed for the marking effect and, while peeing in the pool does not preclude one necessarily from being on the team, it was apparently enough for the selection committee to opt for someone else to place on the team.

“It was horrible. Everyone started calling me Redna, and no one wanted to swim with me,” Jamanski says. “I eventually had to quit. People can be so cruel, but I’m moving on.”

Now the teenager, who suffers from a hereditary incontinence issue is currently serving as a guest lecturer for the urinary incontinence group Go-Anon, and wants to someday return to the water with her own aquatic version of The Vagina Monologues which sounds like absolute TORTURE for an audience. She’s disappointed to not go to the Olympics certainly, but is taking it in stride saying, “Gold is nice, sure, but it’s so fleeting,” Jamanski advises. “Make your own gold every day, and you won’t go wrong.”

Also, don’t pee in the pool.

[Cap News]




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