Posts Tagged ‘Dumbass


I Know There Was Something I Was Supposed To Do Today…

You spend your whole life getting ready for the Olympics, thousands of hours practicing, giving up everything in your life so that when the time comes, in your own home country, you can shine. The day of your event comes, the moment you’ve waited a lifetime for and you arrive at the venue only to be informed that you were in the second heat, not the third and are now disqualified. This is what happened to Chinese rower Zhang Liang who qualifies as the most embarrassed athlete at the games so far. Even worse, because he didn’t qualify for the singles rowing competition he also is disqualified from the doubles event as well, thus screwing not just himself but also his partner who must be a big fan of Liang right now. In typically understated Chinese manner, the director of Chinese water sports Wei Di stated simply, “This shows we still have some problems in team organization.” Good call!

This, for the record is EXACTLY what would happen to me if I was an Olympic athlete, either that or I’d show up a complete day late, right as they were awarding the medals or something. Someone should warn the Marines on duty at the Beijing embassy to get ready for Liang’s defection as I bet the Chinese sports federations are going to LOVE him.

[Gossip on Sports]


Barefoot in the Park

In one of the most idiotic possible injuries, Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards, whose breakout year last year is one of the big reasons for optimism in Cleveland, was hurt at the end of practice on Saturday, requiring stitches in his foot after getting stepped on by teammate Donte Stallworth. Normally football cleats prevent exactly such injuries but Edwards, the brightest bulb, was running barefoot on the field whilst everyone else was still wearing their spikes. Smart!

“Everything is pretty well fine other than the fact he has stitches,” Romeo Crennel said. “So, we are going to try to get that healed, and then we will get him back out here. He was in good spirits last night when I spoke with him and he is anxious to get back.”


Always Bet on Green 420

I’ve always wanted to go to a casino and put something like my watch down as my bet, instead of cash, I just think that’s a totally classy, superstar kinda move. The guy in this video below clearly has similar style dreams. He sits down at the table and takes out his currency to bet with to the surprise of the dealer and other players at the table; I guess they’re not used to people betting with an ounce of weed…

At first he decides to place it all on the hand, but then realizes that that’s CRAZY, so he only puts down like an eighths worth, which as we all know is a much safer, albeit conservative bet. When the cops come for the guy he seems totally shocked that they would be busting him about this, like this was a totally standard way to bet and the cops were being crazy.

I particularly enjoy the newscasters talking about how the security guys have trouble scraping the loose weed off the table because it is “so sticky,” and that the guy thought all this was fine because he has a weed card that he ordered on the internet. Good call dude! However, the anchor’s “five card bud” joke was nothing but a dud, even for local news that was terrible.

[Cake Rocks the Party]

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May 2023