Archive for the 'Hockey' Category



27
Sep
09

Milan Lucic is a “Devastating Machine”

Looks like my boy Milan is ready for the regular season to get going. It also looks like Ottawa’s Chris Neil’s face isn’t gonna be so pretty anymore. HOCKEY BABY!

26
Sep
09

Pittsburgh Fans Know Whats Important

The G-20 Leaders Summit ended in Pittsburgh amidst protests and with the woeful Pittsburgh Pirates honoring the event by having Foreigner play live tonight after their game against the Dodgers. Foreigner, IN CONCERT, AT THE PIRATES GAME, sigh. I can’t believe I’m missing it.

Some people went to the protests to express their opinions about the manner in which the world’s leaders govern, others just like being part of a crowd. For instance, this news crew while highlighting the riot cops and the protesters finds a very unprotest-like banner being held in the crowd.

Is the G-20 anti-Penguin? Has anyone looked into this? Or are the fans just looking for even more protection for Sidney Crosby ever being touched by an opponent?

24
Sep
09

Those Doors are Space-Age

Hockey players are tough guys, they lose teeth on the ice and are always ready for a fight. Or at least back in the day; now the players are on the verge of being coddled. Check out the locker-room for the Vancouver Canucks at their new home, the GM Place. I mean, with such a stalwart sponsor like GM, this is SURE to end happy.

21
Sep
09

You Wouldn’t Like Jason Allison When He’s Angry

Despite having a last name that’s usually the first name of a demure little girl, Jason Allison — former Bruin baby! — decides to see what’s inside the brain of Philadelphia Flyer Darroll Powe. Allison has been away from the game for a bit but he apparently hasn’t lost his edge, or his ripping strength…

18
Sep
09

The Coolest Game on Ice Returns!

Just because it’s only preseason for hockey doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy some of the better moments. For instance, here is Dion Phaneuf of the Calgary Flames just flat out DEMOLISHING the Islanders’ Kyle Okposo.

HOCKEY!

17
Sep
09

Because “Super Sexgenius Master” Wouldn’t Fit

sexsmithNow, I’m no San Jose Sharks fan — except for former Bruin Jumbo Joe Thornton — but if I were to be buying any NHL jerseys this season I think this young man’s would be my choice.

I understand how families long ago got names like Miller, Cooper, Brewer, etc, so you can only imagine why the Sexsmith’s acquired their name.

Walking around in a Sexsmith jersey just has to be the absolute TITS. You definitely get laid just from that. And if things don’t work out so well for Tyson in the NHL, he has an easy transition into the porn world.

[Sharks]

17
Sep
09

The Heart is Connected to the Groin?

sweden+v+Czech+Republic+IIHF+World+Championship+2bCLuuFfVT-lTrying to win the backup job for the Toronto Maple Leafs, Jonas Gustavsson has been sidelined with a heart problem. After having a racing heartbeat after fitness tests, Gustavsson was sidelined.

Team doctors then performed an ablation, which for some reason involves an incision in the groin.

“They go in and touch a part of his heart that was misfiring,” said coach Ron Wilson. “It’s a simple procedure that’s actually fairly common with athletes.”

Everyone was surprised by this issue coming up, since Gustavsson was “the most powerful guy we had” for several of the fitness tests Wilson said.

Um, since when is the easiest way to a guy’s heart through the groin? I thought that was the easiest way to new jewelry.
[TSN]

17
Sep
09

“Ooh Baby I Love Your Way”

NHL/

10
Aug
09

Hossa Finally Takes Home Lord Stanley

ept_sports_nhl_experts-471585112-1249761449Attending the Golden Puck Awards in Slovakia, newly-minted Chicago Blackhawk, Marian Hossa, was in attendance to receive the award for best forward. Along with his trophy, Hossa — who left the Pittsburgh Penguins after last year’s Stanley Cup loss to try and win one with Detroit instead (this year’s losers to the Penguins) — was given a goat named Stanley as a joke on his poor decision-making. Since the Slovokian word for goat is “cap”, he won the Stanley Cap! Finally!

You did it Marian!

[Puck Daddy]

04
Aug
09

I’m Pretty Sure Sex Helps EVERYTHING

ept_sports_nhl_experts-616455336-1249323161Back in the mother country, hockey superstar Alex Ovechkin sat down for a wide-ranging interview with media outlet Russia Today. While American journalists are staid and prudish, Russian journos have no such compunctions, as evidenced with lines of inquiry like this:

Q. How do you prepare for the game? Is it true that you can’t have sex before the match?

OVECHKIN: Sex really helps, actually.

Q. Is that before or after the match?

OVECHKIN: Before and after.

Considering Ovechkin has been linked to various lucious ladies in the past, including a former Miss Russia, and Igor Larionov’s daughter Alyonka amongst others, it doesn’t seem like too bad of a life. However, it must be awkward for everyone else in the locker room as Alex “prepares” for the game…

[Puck Daddy]

31
Jul
09

When Life Hands You Lemons

When true love comes along, if you’re smart, you lock it down and put a ring on it. Alas, for one Pittsburgh resident, that plan didn’t go too well. “Scott” put this ad up on the Pittsburgh’s Craigslist barter board:

Markee cut with 12 little diamonds,Appraised @ 2,500,will take a 1,000 cash or
1,500 dollars worth of penguins tickets must be good seats

engagementrings

Even after crawling through a river of shit, Scott is able to look forward to watching the reigning Stanley Cup champions; he’s a pillar of strength for all men who go through hard times. Scott may have lost the girl he loved, but he still has his team. They’ll get him through this; but don’t get ridiculous, he still wants “good seats.”

Go get ’em buddy, you deserve it!

and in case the link gets taken down, I have a screenshot of it here.

28
Jul
09

Nice Moves Mr. Man

Uri Man is a Vice-President for development for the parent company of the NHL’s Florida Panthers, he also appeared on Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker to apparently no avail. That’s because he appeared on Fox News over the weekend and took the opportunity to try and throw some game at his interviewer, Ainsley Earhardt.

Starting off slow, Man, who wrote a book entitled “Getting Good Jobs in Tough Times,” first compares the market to an ex-girlfriend one tries to win back. Earhardt enjoys the example and then Man, later in the interview throws out that he knows where she went to college. A little creepy, but hey, he came prepared, I respect that. Man also took the time to comment that he must have missed the memo since Earhardt and her co-host were both wearing yellow. When she told him that his pink tie matched nicely with yellow he wonders aloud about how the two of them would look together. Class act.

The interview ends in the best way a guy could dream of, her laughing at him and asking her co-host if Man was “hitting on me on live TV? Did that just happen?”

Smooth Man, smooth.

[Sports by Brooks]




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