Per Tony Kornheiser from last night’s MNF game:
Archive for the 'Hockey' Category
09
Dec
08
Jeff Garcia Likes to Do What?
08
Dec
08
The Best Thing About Hockey
Via Fan IQ comes this video of a truly awesomely epic college hockey fight. Forget two guys squaring off, or even the goalies getting involved, this is TEAM ON TEAM! The clip comes from a game between Eastern Michigan and the University of Illinois, the competition on the ice didn’t seem as well matched, with the Illini winning 10-1, but this fight in the 3rd period made the night worthwhile for the gents from Eastern Michigan.
Here are the penalties doled out after the awesome melee, Illinois players are in the orange. Now THIS is hockey!
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Third Period Penalties
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| 0:18 | Illini | J. Liang | Slashing |
| 5:14 | EMU | P. Graves | Holding |
| 14:24 | EMU | P. Graves | Tripping |
| 17:21 | EMU | J. Schultz | Misconduct |
| 17:21 | EMU | J. Petriches | Misconduct |
| 17:21 | Illini | B. Hoelzer | Misconduct |
| 18:12 | EMU | R. Stewart | Fighting |
| 18:12 | EMU | R. Stewart | Game Disqualification |
| 18:12 | EMU | J. Schweiger | Fighting |
| 18:12 | EMU | J. Schweiger | Game Disqualification |
| 18:12 | EMU | J. Schweiger | Grabbing the Facemask |
| 18:12 | EMU | J. Schweiger | Abuse of Officials |
| 18:12 | EMU | J. Schweiger | Game Disqualification |
| 18:12 | EMU | M. Hattie | Fighting |
| 18:12 | EMU | M. Hattie | Game Disqualification |
| 18:12 | EMU | R. Cupit | Fighting |
| 18:12 | EMU | R. Cupit | Game Disqualification |
| 18:12 | Illini | A. Betourne | Instigating |
| 18:12 | Illini | A. Betourne | Fighting |
| 18:12 | Illini | A. Betourne | Game Disqualification |
| 18:12 | Illini | A. Goldblatt | Fighting |
| 18:12 | Illini | A. Goldblatt | Game Disqualification |
| 18:12 | Illini | B. Goldblatt | Fighting |
| 18:12 | Illini | B. Goldblatt | Game Disqualification |
| 18:12 | Illini | D. Kohler | Fighting |
| 18:12 | Illini | D. Kohler | Game Disqualification |
[Fan IQ]
03
Dec
08
Avery Gets Sloppy Suspension
Ok, I get just because I don’t think something is offensive that there are always people out there who will, and if your boss thinks it is offensive, well, you’re fucked. Look at the comments that Sean Avery made though, “I’m really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about, but enjoy the game tonight.”
These comments led to NHL commissioner Gary Bettman suspending Avery indefinitely. Although, indefinitely in NHL speak just means until he speaks with the commissioner and then gets a two or three game suspension. However, please tell me where the real problem with what he said is. He doesn’t mention any specific person by name, sure, he’s obviously alluding to Elisha Cuthbert and Rachel Hunter, but he never mentions them. For all we know he’s referring to some rando girls he nailed in NYC. Ok, so we obviously know it isn’t that, but, really, all he does is say he doesn’t like the guys in the league dating his exes. He says it in a douchebaggy manner, but then everything that Avery does is in such a manner.
So why the suspension, why is his owner saying he would have suspended Avery if Bettman didn’t? Nothing he said is so wrong. It’s dumb, it’s classless, I’ll even say mildly crass, but it ain’t offensive. Besides, if you are able to immediately know who he is referring to you have spent way too much time focusing on the love lives of celebrities. That said, Avery, you dated hot ass women, they are going to go on and date other men after you because that’s the way the world works. You can’t handle it, stop dating. Otherwise, you need to get over it. Elisha is from Canada, hence hockey players are hot to her, we all know that’s wrong, but hey, so it goes.
The fact that Avery is going to miss game time because of what are inherently innocuous comments is ridiculous and the NHL should be embarrassed. Unfortunately, now everyone is going to praise the NHL for being proactive or something. I say that because Avery didn’t do anything wrong, he didn’t slander anyone, he didn’t say anything racist or really offensive, he merely has issues with other guys dating his exes.
Obviously he isn’t over them, or comfortable with other people he knows dating them, that’s fine, I can understand that, and he happened to use the forum of reporters in front of his face to let them know he doesn’t care for it.
Sloppy seconds is a lame thing to say, but suspension worthy? If you were standing around your office and said that you wouldn’t be suspended, you wouldn’t be fired. I dunno. It just seems like bullshit to me. And don’t get me wrong, I hate Avery, I think he’s a scumbag, but it seems to me he’s being suspended for being a general scumbag as opposed to having actually done something wrong. If that’s the case, I’m actually OK with that, I just dislike the fake outrage about the “sloppy seconds.” What do y’all think?
20
Nov
08
Mustaches Make the Hockey Player
The Everett Silvertips are a junior hockey team up in Canada, and for those of you fools who weren’t following their recent 6 game road trip and just read the box scores, all you see is that they finished the trip with 8 out of a possible 12 points. Not too shabby. But much like the Sacramento Rivercats over the summer, the road success has been fueled by the power of the new mustaches the team has grown. Mustaches like this one living on the upper lip of forward Kyle Beach:
Sassy! ““Absolutely [the winning streak was due to] the mustache,” Beach said, “We couldn’t have done it without them. It kept our upper lip warm when we were out there in the cold, so definitely the points came from the mustaches.”
The impetus for the ‘staches came from the captains, who required everyone to grow one during the trip. Of course, being a junior hockey team, not everyone has the ability to grow a handsome ‘stache, so there were some ugly ones out there on the ice. “Some guys did good, some guys did not very good, but everyone tried to grow it, that’s the whole thing,” defenseman Taylor Ellington said. “It was a team-bonding experience. It brought guys closer together, as weird as it seems that something that small could do that.” To make sure that their mustaches had that extra pop out on the ice, several of the players used Just For Men. Way to go Keith Hernandez, your advertising has worked!
Now that the trip is over, some of the players intend to keep their ‘staches, and of course, they are doing it for the right reasons. “Oh, it’s good,” a smirking Beach answered when asked to evaluate his own mustache. “Girls love it. That’s really all that matters.”
For more pictures of the Silvertips’ ‘staches, check out the gallery here.
Showing that they can be total capital “d” Douches, the New York Rangers are seeking the 17th pick in this year’s draft as compensation for not being able to sign their 2006 first round choice, also the 17th pick. The reason they were unable to sign Alexei Cherepanov? He’s the player who was tragically killed during an Russian hockey league game.
As Rangers assistant GM Cam Hope told the NY Post:
The question is with the one parenthetical phrase in Article 8.3 (b) that refers compensation for an unsigned first-round draft pick who is ‘… again eligible for the Entry Draft or becomes an Unrestricted Free Agent …’ That language was inserted to clarify that a team would be owed a compensatory pick even if they were to re-draft that player or sign him as a free agent.
It seems now as if that phrase is unintentionally precluding the deceased from being included as eligible for compensation. We understand that this is a sensitive issue, but with all due respect to Alexei’s family and his memory, he is technically eligible to be drafted again next year.
We are not attempting to capitalize on a tragedy, but there would be no question regarding the Rangers’ right to a compensatory pick if Cherepanov had been revived and survived the incident and were on life support.
If an unsigned player sustained a massive injury on or off the ice, the drafting team would get a compensatory pick,” Hope said. “We believe that the letter of the law applies in this case, but even if there is a disagreement on that, it’s clear that the spirit of the law applies.
Classy guys. SUPER Classy. This would be like the Celtics seeking a compensatory pick, in this year’s draft for Len Bias’ death. Sure, it’s only been 20 years, but c’mon, we’re owed the second pick in the draft!
I get that the Rangers are upset, sure, but c’mon this is just pathetic. Fuck you Glen Sather. Cherepanov’s death was unfortunate and sad, but don’t try and milk it to get something else, that’s just sick.
31
Oct
08
Can’t Stop What You Can’t See
Here’s a smart way to beat Martin Brodeur during a shootout, blind him with ice and then slip the puck past him. Genius!
28
Oct
08
Them Goalie Masks Be Crazy
Because I just can’t seem to escape hockey stuff over the last week here is an AMAZING slide show of the various goalie masks being used around the league this season. I still miss Andy Moog’s open mouth Bruin mask from back in the day but these are pretty damn dope and there are plenty more in the slide show here. Check it out!
Kari Lehton - Atlanta Thrashers
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- Curtis Mcelhinney – Calgary Flames
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- Dany Sabourin – Pittsburgh Penguins
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- Martin Biron – Philadelphia Flyers
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- Vesa Toskala – Toronto Maple Leafs
27
Oct
08
A Weighty Hit
Not to become all Canadian or something, and of course, the absolute LAST thing I want to do is make this a hockey blog, BUT, here’s another awesome hit from a game over the weekend. In this clip, New York Islander Doug Weight knocks the snot out of Brandon Sutter of the Hartford Whalers Carolina Hurricanes. Wow.
24
Oct
08
Boom! Shake Shake Shake the Room
Since we already saw one great hit from the Bruins game and since the Bruins were otherwise hapless, might as well see Dennis Wideman’s hit on Matt Stajan in open ice. Now I see why my mother never allowed me to play hockey.
Try as hard as I might I can never truly escape hockey, my once fandom simply won’t allow it. Sigh. Anyhoo, the Bruins are still winless on the season, you know, because they blow, but Milan Lucic did provide some excitement during last night’s game. That’s because he leveled a giant hit on Toronto Maple Leaf Mike Van Ryn that shattered the glass. Van Ryn was fine, several fans were showered in glass and received minor injuries, but they were upgraded from their rinkside seats to a luxury box so, they still had a good time. I miss the good old days when there was lots of hitting and fighting, this clip is a throwback to hockey still being hockey.
22
Oct
08
Disney Ruins Hockey
No, I don’t mean by starting an NHL team named after a fictional kids hockey team. Alabama hockey fans, all 3 of them found themselves left out of the rink when the Huntsville Havoc and the Columbus Cottonmouths’ preseason game was canceled last night. The reason?
After this weekend’s Disney on Ice show, the Von Braun Center staff was not able to prepare the ice for hockey and ensure the safety of the players, Havoc officials said.
That’s an A+ plus operation y’all got down there…Also, how is Cottonmouth a team name? I didn’t realize pot smoking terms were viable team names. That’s cool though, I just look forward to the Birmingham Blunt-Rollers beginning their season.
22
Oct
08
Swedish Hockey Is Titillating
In another example why Europe is much more fun than America is this story from Sweden. Jan Huokko formerly played for the hockey team AIK but now plays for Leksand hockey club in Sweden’s second-tier professional hockey league. To welcome him back, members of an unofficial fan group urged fans to celebrate Huokko by bringing dildos to the game to throw on the ice. Huokko it seems made headlines when he lost his cellphone and when it was found a sex tape of the stocky defenseman and his ladyfriend was on it and released to the interwebs.
“It was a private thing between me and my girl,” Huokko said at the time. “That’s what people do when it comes to sex.”
Before the game even started fans had thrown multiple dildos onto the ice, causing a delay as the ice crew cleaned them up. Fans also brought a giant sign saying “Bend Over Bitch” which I assume was something Huokko said during the tape.
Leksand ended up losing the game 3-2 and the vulgar chants against Huokko continued throughout. In a prime example of allowing the inmates to run the asylum AIK officials were aware of the planned dildo showers but decided not to act. “We’d also heard mention of it, but we decided that it would only be worse if we went out and told the fans they were absolutely not allowed to throw dildos on the ice,” said AIK club head Mats Hedenström.
This would NEVER be allowed to happen at a US hockey game, and if it did they’d probably have to call in trauma specialists to help the parents of the children at the game who had been so traumatized. For Huokko, it was just another day at the office, “it was just a regular hockey game. It was no problem,” he said following the match. “I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”
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