So it begins, so long blue and orange stadium. May your demise signal the end of the Mets’ recent futility.
Archive for the 'Baseball' Category
14
Oct
08
Shea Goodbye
Shane Victorino has been a pest these playoffs, with a huge grand slam in the first round and then being a catalyst towards a benches emptying standing around “fight,” but now he’s REALLY done it, he’s angered PETA. After revealing that his favorite food is Spam musubi, the Flying Hawaiian has irked the publicity whores over at PETA who sent him a letter about their recent investigations into the pig farm that supplies the manufacturer of Spam. “We suspect that the cruelty in every can of Spam will infuriate Shane more than a high Hiroki Kuroda fastball,” says Dan Shannon, PETA’s assistant director, in a note. “If Shane likes Spam a lot, he should buy tickets to the Broadway play but leave it off his dinner plate.”
Several things about this story interest me. One, Shane Victorino has poor taste in food. Two, who knew that Spam actually came from pigs! Three, PETA has GOT to get a life and get over themselves. Four, Don Shannon LOVES shitty puns. When the story was brought to the attention of a Phillies PR rep, the rep said he’d ask Victorino for a comment, after the World Series. After the jump is the letter from PETA, an organization that I wish would just stick to real animal rights issues.
And a hearty h/t to Philly.com for the “Frying Hawaiian” bit.
Amidst the Red Sox opting to host Fright Fest at Fenway instead of a baseball game last night was this moment that the folks over at Home Run Derby captured. Usually when Craig Sager is on the screen I have to leave the rooms in order to protect my fragile eyesight, but somehow HRD managed to last through a Sager segment in order to capture a clumsy soda vendor at Fenway. This might be the only enjoyable thing that came out of yesterday’s suckfest.
14
Oct
08
Manny Being Kinda Scuzzy
During warm-ups for game 2, here is Manny enjoying the sights. Particularly those of the teenaged Philadelphia ball-girls. Classy!
"That's just Manny being Manny, I'm a bad man."
[Fan IQ]
14
Oct
08
Matt Stairs, Who Knew
Hammer it baby!
After hitting his game-winning home run last night to put the Phillies up a commanding 3-1 in their series against the Dodgers Matt Stairs, professional hitter–unlike the entire rest of MLB which features only amateurs–couldn’t wait to finish circling the bases and get to the dugout. It wasn’t because the portly gentleman was tired from running, no, he wanted to have his teammates hands all over him. “You want to get that one big hit where you feel like you’re part of the team. Not that I don’t feel like I’m part of the team, by no means, but when you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys, it’s no better feeling than to have that done,” he said after the game. Yowzers.
Other fun Matt Stairs facts:
- He’s Canadian, EWWWW
- He coaches a high school hockey team in Maine in the offseason
- He refused to report to a Mexican Winter League team until the team owner agreed to fly in Burger King once a week for him to enjoy
The playoffs always feature some interesting t-shirt designs from fans. Usually the shirts are a little crude (see “Jeter Sucks A-Rod”) or overconfident, but they are made by fans so that makes sense. On the other hand, for a franchise, particularly one in the playoffs for only the first time and who has won a single series to come out with their own sanctioned, MLB shop t-shirt like this is simply unfathomable.
WOW. That’s a pretty bold t-shirt to be offering. Talk about overweening pride. Hasn’t anyone told them the story of Icarus. I hope someone shows these to the Sox players. Again, it’d be one thing if this were a fan-made shirt. But it ain’t. You can purchase it through the Rays’ official team store on MLB.com. I simply don’t get it. Confident is one thing, cocky is OK too, but c’mon, you haven’t done a goddamn thing yet. I look forward to some drubbings now. Let’s GO SOX!
Dusty Baker has had some big league success, taking the Cubs and Giants to NLCS in back-to-back years, although along the way he destroyed the careers and arms of Mark Prior and Kerry Wood. Since then he’s been a truly AWFUL analyst on ESPN and because of that is forced to manage the Cincinnati Reds. Tired already of losing and having little hope for the future, this weekend Baker has decided to change teams and start working with a winner again.
Darren Baker, Dusty’s 9 year old son is on an under-10 Little League team called the imposing Hard 90 Pastimes who are in San Francisco for a tournament and their normal coach was unable to be there. So, after a little cajoling from Darren, Dusty agreed to take the job, much to the joy of his son, “I’m very excited because it was his dream to always coach me,” Darren said.
While Darren is excited, if I were the parent of one of the pitchers on that team I would be TERRIFIED. Is it possible for 9 year olds to blow out their elbows? Does anyone doubt whether Dusty will try and find out? I have to imagine that after this tournament the entire pitching staff will head en mass to visit Dr. Andrews. Regardless, the Little League team will go into the offseason with a better chance of winning the World Series than the Reds. No word as yet as to Dusty signing Corey Patterson to fill in in center field.
Sarah Spain is a Chicago area sports fan who has received some publicity in the past for selling a date with herself to get Bears Super Bowl tickets has come up with a new solution to finally ending the Cubs’ long streak of futility. She’s going to rail Steve Bartman. While I’m not sure that even sinking that low could help the Cubs, or their fans, but hey, it can’t hurt. And I doubt that Bartman has gotten many other offers from similarly attractive women with bodacious tatas. The whole song is a parody on the Jimmy Kimmel/Sarah Silverman “I’m Fucking Matt Damon” song but hey, it works, albeit being played out. Regardless, I think I’m flying to Chicago and getting my Bartman costume out and seeking Ms. Spain. And if you’re interested in more about Sarah, check out her myspace page and her website.
[Fan IQ]
08
Oct
08
Bailouts Run in His Blood
Merritt Paulson is the 28 year old co-owner of the Portland Beavers, the Triple-A affiliate of the San Diego Padres and he’s working very hard to try and bring an MLS franchise to the Portland area. In order to do that, he wants to renovate the stadium where the Beavers play and build a new stadium for them elsewhere in the city. Paulson is looking for $85 million from the city for renovations while he’s willing to pony up $40 million for the soccer franchise itself. MLS has promised the city a team by 2011 if they built a soccer-specific stadium, hence the renovations, but while some people are excited others, like Jody Wiser of Tax Fairness Oregon feel differently. “My personal feeling is if Merritt Paulson wants a team he should buy some land and build the stadium. That’s his job as a business owner. It’s not the job of the grocery store clerk.”
Meanwhile, the price tag keeps climbing. In September Paulson said it would take $75 million and today it’s 85. But for Paulson, son of current Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson (who is the other co-owner of the Beavers) the government’s money is seen as just another ATM for him to use. After all, if AIG and all of his dad’s cronies on Wall Street can get some government coin, why not him!
Don’t worry though, the new Mayor-Elect Sam Adams is on the scene and ready to help provide leadership; also, 2 kegs of the fall seasonal ale. Continue reading ‘Bailouts Run in His Blood’
07
Oct
08
Jose Reyes Loves BJs
He may make 4.375 million this past season but that doesn’t mean he don’t like a bargain. Here is Jose Reyes and his wife Katherine–looking significantly less horse-ish too–picking up some bulk diapers and other household items. Look he buys Charmin, just like me! Oh Jose, we’re like two peas in a pod.
[NY Post]
07
Oct
08
Things That Make Me Happy
06
Oct
08
A-Rod Salutes the Plebes
Washington may be claiming that the economy is in crisis, but if you’re a baseball slugger with the two richest contracts in sports history times they ain’t so bad. Sure, your team got bounced from even getting to the playoffs for the first time in over a decade, but really it’s Jeter’s team anyways, so it isn’t A-Rod’s fault. Hence him out for a meal with a couple friends including, according to the NY Post a “sexy brunette.” Always aware of the media’s attention to him, he switched seats from sitting next to her to sitting across when he noticed photographers setting up. Fortunately though, A-Rod, a man who can quite easily set up his own version of Scrooge McDuck’s money bin, still provided some moments of interest for the photographers and in particular for all those people who are in danger of losing their homes and life savings. That’s because A-Rod has so much money he can use $100 bills as napkins. Now THAT’S living the dream!
[NY Post]
The Slanch Report 
Recent Comments