Posts Tagged ‘Dusty Baker

10
Oct
08

Dusty Baker Trades Reds In for a Winner

Dusty Baker has had some big league success, taking the Cubs and Giants to NLCS in back-to-back years, although along the way he destroyed the careers and arms of Mark Prior and Kerry Wood. Since then he’s been a truly AWFUL analyst on ESPN and because of that is forced to manage the Cincinnati Reds. Tired already of losing and having little hope for the future, this weekend Baker has decided to change teams and start working with a winner again.

Darren Baker, Dusty’s 9 year old son is on an under-10 Little League team called the imposing Hard 90 Pastimes who are in San Francisco for a tournament and their normal coach was unable to be there. So, after a little cajoling from Darren, Dusty agreed to take the job, much to the joy of his son, “I’m very excited because it was his dream to always coach me,” Darren said.

While Darren is excited, if I were the parent of one of the pitchers on that team I would be TERRIFIED. Is it possible for 9 year olds to blow out their elbows? Does anyone doubt whether Dusty will try and find out? I have to imagine that after this tournament the entire pitching staff will head en mass to visit Dr. Andrews. Regardless, the Little League team will go into the offseason with a better chance of winning the World Series than the Reds. No word as yet as to Dusty signing Corey Patterson to fill in in center field.

28
Jul
08

Reds Make Important Deal for Their Future

Despite being 11.5 games out of the lead for the NL Central, the Cincinnati Reds don’t believe they’re out of it, so they swung a major deal over the weekend for both their present and their future. Of course, I’m referring to the news that is already everywhere across the nation, that everyone is talking about, the Reds have finally chosen their OFFICIAL and exclusive ketchup provider. Finally!

Our long national nightmare is finally over and we can get back to our regular, dull lives!

Red Gold Premium Ketchup are the lucky winners and will become the sole providers for the Reds at their 32 food stands. I’m just glad that this whole ordeal is at long last over and the Reds can get back to concentrating on the game. In fact, I’m almost certain that this long search has been the reason why the Reds are so far out of contention. Sure, critics might point to Dusty Baker and say that since he doesn’t understand how to properly manage a baseball team, or that he ignores statistics that would actually help his team because he’s “old-school” and that he’s out of touch with the current game, but to those people I say ketchup!

The Reds are primed to go on a Rockies-like streak and most likely win the World Series this year, solely propelled via the high quality Red Gold PREMIUM Ketchup.

27
Mar
08

Annual Rite of the MLB Season #42

Today, the San Diego Padres as expected placed Mark Prior on the 60-day DL while he rehabs from shoulder surgery. For Prior this is a return to a place he knows best, having been on the DL at some point every year since 2003 and hasn’t pitched a full season since Dusty Baker destroyed his career and future that same year.

I for one hope that he comes back. I’ve always like Prior because his curve ball is sick, his mechanics are flawless and because I drafted him in the first round of a fantasy draft like an idiot in 2004. Also, I drafted him this year in one of my fantasy leagues as my final pick, and think that, if he can be healthy, we could see maybe 8-11 wins and 130 Ks from June forward. Maybe.

Possibly.

Continue reading ‘Annual Rite of the MLB Season #42’




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