Archive for the 'Awesome' Category

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05
Aug
08

Elvis Lives! Elvis Gets Wet! Elvis Gets Arrested!

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , , , ,

Last night’s Cubs/Astros tilt was halted for a while thanks to tornado warnings and intense lightning storms. The grounds crew rushed the tarp out onto the field and within minutes the giant piece of plastic became an all-too-tempting slid n’ slide. We’ve seen some Rangers players this year unable to resist and go sliding, which apparently the security folk don’t mind, (I’d guess the players’ GMs do…) but apparently, if you’re just some normal dude who goes to Cubs games dressed up as Elvis, a classic baseball fan tradition–in fact I believe Abner Doubleday used to do it too, although at the time everyone thought he was kind of a dandy–the security and police folk take umbrage. It just doesn’t seem fair to me, after all, he is the King.

[Fan IQ]

30
Jul
08

Katy, Texas’ Summer of Fun!

By slanch 13 Comments
Categories: Awesome, Douches, Hazing and Random
Tags: , , , , ,

“When a girl (BEEP) in her pants and puts her pants on another girl’s head, that’s just disgusting,” so says the sister of one of the Morton Ranch High School junior varsity cheerleaders and I couldn’t agree more. That was only the beginning for 14 members of the high school varsity cheerleading team who have since been accused of hazing their JV cohorts.

Traditionally the varsity team kidnaps the JV team and then takes them out to breakfast, which doesn’t seem like such a bad thing to me, in fact, it almost seems like fun! Instead, this year, the 12 varsity girls, the team’s equipment manager and of course, the school’s mascot decided to do it slightly different.

(First off, what the fuck does the cheerleading squad need with an equipment manager, are there other things besides pom-poms? Are the girls not able to keep an eye on them themselves? Also, was the mascot wearing the costume the whole time? These are important questions and I demand answers!)

In order to welcome the JV girls to the cheerleading sorority, the senior girls duct-taped the JV squads hands and then threw them into a pool. They reportedly also were “flicking [the JV girls’] body parts,” which I wonder if is anything like flicking the bean?

School officials responded right away saying “The district is investigating an alleged off-campus incident possibly involving inappropriate behavior by certain students.” Sounds like they’ve really got it taken care of!

photo_servletMorton Ranch High School is in the Houston suburb of Katy, Texas, normally famous for housing steroids using uber-douche Roger Clemens. I’m sure he must be relieved to not be the headline in the local paper for once. The school also just got out from a fun teacher-student sex scandal that came out last week.

Continue reading ‘Katy, Texas’ Summer of Fun!’

29
Jul
08

Around the Stadiums in 26 Days

By slanch 4 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: ,

I know that I am super jealous of the summer that Josh Robbins has had. That’s because, in 26 days, he visited all 30 baseball stadiums to take in a game. He has submitted his accomplishment to the Guinness Book of Records besting the previous best by 2 days.

The native New Yorker who now resides in California began his trip in Seattle traveling 14,212 miles and spending more than $2,000 in gas. Don’t ask Robbins which stadium had the best hot dogs though, the classic ballpark fare isn’t something he likes, so Robbins survived on chicken tenders and pretzels along his journey.

During the trip he went to two games in a day 4 times in order to save time. He went from Seattle to San Francisco; Anaheim; Phoenix; Oakland; back to Los Angeles; down to San Diego; and then to Denver; Kansas City; Detroit; Toronto; Cleveland; Chicago; Minneapolis; Arlington, Texas; Houston; St. Petersburg, Florida; Miami; Atlanta; St. Louis; Cincinnati; Baltimore; Pittsburgh; Boston; the Bronx in New York; Queens in New York; Philadelphia; Washington; Chicago; and Milwaukee.

Along the way, seven friends or family members – including his wife, Su Karuppana, and dad, Jon Robbins – joined him to help drive and watch games.

“The most difficult drive was San Diego to Denver,” Robbins said. “That was one of the most thrills I’ve had driving. After the Padres game, we had 14 hours to drive 1,082 miles. We got to the first pitch by two minutes, every second counted. I still don’t know how [we] did it.”

Robbins managed to see some pretty cool games along the way, too. Continue reading ‘Around the Stadiums in 26 Days’

29
Jul
08

Nice Form on the Stiff-Arm Tackle Though…

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Random
Tags: , , ,

Yesterday in NYC the annual bike event “Critical Mass” went off with very few hitches. Except for when they rode through Times Square and 22 year old NYPD member Patrick Pogan took umbrage and tackled rider Christopher Long for apparently no reason. To add insult, Pogan then arrested the rider for attempted assault in the third degree, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct; he has been since stripped of both his badge and gun.

28
Jul
08

Always Bet on Green 420

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Random
Tags: , , ,

I’ve always wanted to go to a casino and put something like my watch down as my bet, instead of cash, I just think that’s a totally classy, superstar kinda move. The guy in this video below clearly has similar style dreams. He sits down at the table and takes out his currency to bet with to the surprise of the dealer and other players at the table; I guess they’re not used to people betting with an ounce of weed…

At first he decides to place it all on the hand, but then realizes that that’s CRAZY, so he only puts down like an eighths worth, which as we all know is a much safer, albeit conservative bet. When the cops come for the guy he seems totally shocked that they would be busting him about this, like this was a totally standard way to bet and the cops were being crazy.

I particularly enjoy the newscasters talking about how the security guys have trouble scraping the loose weed off the table because it is “so sticky,” and that the guy thought all this was fine because he has a weed card that he ordered on the internet. Good call dude! However, the anchor’s “five card bud” joke was nothing but a dud, even for local news that was terrible.

[Cake Rocks the Party]

24
Jul
08

I Can’t Believe He Threw a Strike

By slanch 6 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

Let’s just say that in Japanese baseball being sneaky can sometimes work in your advantage. Take for instance, this pitcher who throws a totally dope pitch in a game, and somehow slides it in there for a strike against a truly baffled hitter, methinks the umpire was just so impressed he called it a strike regardless.

All I can think about when I see this pitch is the Dunkin Donuts ad where some Fenway food vendor guy is teaching Pedro Martinez how to REALLY be an effective pitcher and teaches him trick pitches like this. I’ve looked everywhere I can think of and can’t find that commercial at all. But I swear it exists, if I find it I’ll post it as well.

18
Jul
08

Maybe She Was Trying To Spark the Jays’ Offense (UPDATED)

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , , ,

The story of the topless blonde in the Rogers Centre Skydome box just keeps getting better. The 26 year old spoke today with the Ottawa Sun paper, the initial publisher of the photos of her, saying that she thought the windows were tinted and no one would be able to see through them.

“The [bachelor party hosts] told me that no one could see in,” she explained. Looks like that’s the last time she trusts a bachelor party crew. You’d think she’d have done her research and seen what these affairs could be like.

The young woman, who prefers to remain anonymous, is in grad school and works as a “hostess” to help pay for her school costs. I feel like I’ve heard that one before, maybe from every other hooker ever. I mean, not that I have a lot of experience with hookers. Unless paying women to have sex with me is experience. In that case I may need to change my response…

“I am not ashamed of what I do, there’s nothing wrong with this…but not everyone knows I do this,” she said. Unfortunately for her, the Blue Jays do see something wrong with it and, since her photo is out there, it looks like everyone is going to know what she does.

President and CEO of the Blue Jays Paul Godfrey said that her comportment went directly against the strict code of conduct for the erstwhile Skydome.

“It may be legal to walk the streets topless, but not at the Rogers Centre,” said Godfrey. Even T-shirts with offensive messages are not allowed in the stadium, he said. I didn’t know it was legal to walk the streets of Toronto topless, looks like it’s time for an action-packed mardi gras vacation to Toronto! Who’s coming with me, they got socialized medicine, street boobs and polite manners, what more could you need?

17
Jul
08

What Have You Accomplished This Year

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Golf
Tags: , , ,

glauserDave Glauser is just a typical dude from Toledo, he’s 61 years old, works as an auto parts salesman and enjoys playing sports. It just so happens though, that he’s awesome at sports. On Monday, while playing a round at Giant Oaks Golf Club in Temperance, Ohio, he fired in a hole-in-one. That’s pretty neat, but not extraordinary, lots of people have done that, even at his age.

However, this is now his 3rd hole-in-one, to go along with the 3 times he’s rolled a perfect 300 bowling game. According to about.com, the odds of an amateur golfer hitting a hole-in-one is 1 in 12,750 and for rolling a perfect game, 1 in 11,500. This guy has now done both, 3 times each!

“He’s very modest about it,” Glauser’s daughter, Allison Schroeder, said. “He pretends like he’s calling about something else and then he says, oh by the way, I got a hole-in-one. He’s very excited about it, but he’s not the type to brag.”

Glauser has no intention of slowing down, “I’ll keep going as long as I can. I’ll keep doing the same old thing, playing until I can’t play anymore. I just love the challenge and I try to keep active.”

16
Jul
08

What Were the Judges’ Qualifications?

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Random
Tags: , , ,

In olden times in Greece anything was game in terms of sex, if it had a hole and a heartbeat, it was fair game, nowadays, society has drastically changed. With Leather has the sad story today of a competitive competition shut down by the Greek society police.

9 British women, on the popular vacation island Zakynthos, were arrested, along with 6 British and 6 Greek men, their crime? Encouraging obscene behavior. Shit, I encourage obscene behavior at all times. It seems the local gendarmes found a local bar’s promotion of a public blowjob competition to be obscene. I can’t believe it! That’s not obscene, that’s an awesome promotion! Sure as hell beats most of the happy hour deals at bars in NYC…

The article unfortunately has no details on the standards the judges intended to use, the prize to be won or the pedestals on which the women would have performed. However, I think it is safe to say that if it is no longer to hold BJ competitions on the Greek Isles than I simply don’t know what’s becoming of this world. I miss the good old days of classical history.

[With Leather]


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15
Jul
08

Maybe She Was Trying To Spark the Jays’ Offense

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , , , ,

The Rogers Centre The Skydome (it is and always will be the Skydome to me) in Toronto houses the Blue Jays as well as the Renaissance Hotel which has rooms that overlook the stadium. Over the weekend while the Jays were finishing their series against the Yankees, apparently one guest provided some more excitement than the games itself.

During the 7th inning of one of the games a buxom blonde decided to take in the game topless, wearing only a thong. Thanks mysterious lady! The Jumbotron video guy noticed her quickly, although obviously he couldn’t showcase her on the big board, but he pointed her out to a photographer from the Ottawa Sun who had no such compunctions.

“At Jays games, a lot of people bring binoculars, and some saw us looking over at the box and then looked up themselves,” said Dave Abel, the photographer, after having snapped up several photos.

Of course, being narcs, the Renaissance Hotel immediately went up to the room and put an end to the fun show.

“Our security and duty manager went up and dealt with the guests,” said Dan Woodburn, Renaissance’s director of operations. “When people check in, we have quite a procedure and they have to sign a waiver saying they won’t throw anything or do anything (risque).”

How boring! If I was in one of those suites you better believe the crowd would be getting a show. Of course, the security people would be totally scared of my rippling abs, chiseled pecs and beg for the chance to see me naked.

Of course, several years ago a couple were boning in their hotel room and they put that on the Jumbotron. Apparently, that’s OK, but a topless blonde in a thong is a danger to society. Stupid Canadians, you’re doing it wrong!


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11
Jul
08

Let’s Make Papa Proud

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Other Sports
Tags: , ,

The annual running of the bulls in Pamplona started on the 6th and will be going until the 14th, every day they set 6 of the bulls loose and head them towards their inevitable death. Sporty! Hemmingway made it sound like a fun adventure, so I won’t hear any ninnying from the PETA folk.

My new favorite, The Big Picture, an all hi-res image photo blog, releases new sets of photos every few days and the latest are from the bull runs and fights this week, they are totally boss.

You should absolutely go to the page itself and check them out in their full large size glory, since I can’t even begin to do these pictures true justice thanks to my layout, but there’s one more, totally graphic, picture I want to post. Join us below the jump to check out what happens a bull gets got.

Continue reading ‘Let’s Make Papa Proud’

10
Jul
08

Being Hammered New Qualification for Refs

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Soccer
Tags: , , , ,

The NBA had Tim Donaghy fixing games, which is a pretty dastardly thing to do, but in the soccer leagues of Belarus they have a very different problem with their referees, drunkenness.

Initially, referee Sergei Schmolik was escorted off the field and taken to the hospital for tests because it seemed like his back was hurting him. It wasn’t. His strange refereeing style may have had something to do with the fact that he instead tested for high levels of alcohol in his system.

“The stadium crowd were stunned by Shmolik’s peculiar behaviour. The referee was hardly moving by the end of the match, which ended in a 1-1 draw, as he officiated the game from the centre circle, refusing to go to his pocket for any cards throughout.

“I haven’t seen a drunk referee before. It’s just beyond my comprehension,” said Belarus national coach Berndt Stange, who was at the game.”

I particularly love the wave he gives to the crowd as he comes off the field, I just can’t believe they even needed to test for alcohol, as it seems pretty clear to me that he’s hammered, but then again, I’d be hammered if I was in Belarus too…

[Sports by Brooks]

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