Forced to sit through another abysmal Mets game — the last time a position player drove a run in was FRIDAY — these fans at least are in good enough spirits to bring a kick-ass sign to the game. Unfortunately for them, they picked a day where Keith Hernandez wasn’t at the game, so they were unable to share their awesome drawing with him. Regardless, SNY picked them up and gave them a brief moment of fame to honor their artistry.
You mess with Keith, you get the horns.
Arthur Manning was on his 36 foot yacht Knight Star in a Royal Channel Islands race when he suffered what he termed an “embarrassing mis-judgement.”
“We’d consulted local charts but didn’t take into account the height of the rocks, or whether there was enough water. The boat ground to a halt and we realised we were grounded — we immediately pulled all the sails down and put on our lifejackets. We both feel terrible … nobody likes hitting rocks, so this was very embarrassing.”
The two men on board were rescued by some French sailors and at high tide the ship was freed from its predicament.
They did not win the race.
Scheduled to make a Triple-A start on Thursday, Bartolo Colon is nowhere to be found; this is a small issue for the Chicago White Sox.
I know where he is supposed to be right now. He’s supposed to be in Charlotte, preparing to start Thursday,” White Sox GM Ken Williams said Tuesday, according to the Chicago Tribune. “Efforts to contact his agent have been successful. Their efforts to contact their client have not been so successful.”
I recommend first checking out all the area Old Country buffets…
[ESPN]
When one of my good friends was a senior in high school in suburban Cleveland he played against an eighth-grade LeBron James. During the game, my friend was dunked on by LeBron. Twice. This is Doug’s Revenge.
At LeBron James’ Skills Academy, a basketball camp for high school players something out of the ordinary happened, Jordan Crawford, a junior from Xavier University who was there as an instructor, played in a pickup game against LeBron in which he caught an inbound pass and threw a two-handed dunk down on the King. Freelance photographer Ryan Miller was at the camp videotaping the game, he captured the moment in all it’s glory.
Unfortunately for all of us, LeBron called over Nike Basketball Senior Director Lynn Merritt who was on the sidelines and whispered something in his ear. A moment later, Merritt walked over to Miller and “He just said, ‘We have to take your tape,'” Miller said. “They took it from other guys, too.”
There wasn’t a policy prohibiting filming and Miller had been there all day without an issue until this. “There’s nothing I can think of besides LeBron just not wanting it online,” Miller said. “It’s a good story to tell people, I guess. But then again, I’m kind of pissed. I lost my tape.”
High schooler Dwight Powell who was there described it thusly:
They were split into teams, and LeBron had his own team. In all the college player’s eyes, I could see a little fire burning, with all of them itching to show what they have against arguably the best player in the world. One player in particular definitely left their mark in Jordan Crawford of Xavier. On an inbounds play, The King was a step slow, and Crawford put a two-hand dunk on him.
I was shocked, but nothing will change my opinion of King James. Jordan Crawford on the other hand has some bounce!
In the same way that Arena Football isn’t real football, indoor soccer isn’t REAL soccer; but when you make an awesome move, it’s awesome everywhere. For example, here’s some unknown — to me — Brazilian player helping himself out by serving up a rainbow to himself and then heading it home. Not too shabby.
You’re certainly allowed some preening after making such an incredible shot, but at the same time, I like how he tempers himself, after all, if he were REALLY good he’d be out on a real field…
I know we’re all supposed to be good people and not find amusement in the misfortune of others, but watching Frank Schleck try to take this turn during a leg of the Tour de France is simply too funny to me. Instead of you know, turning, he instead goes for a spill down into a ravine. He gets up and is totally unharmed, albeit a bit embarrassed and most importantly, I keep giggling every time I watch it.
I think that’s the wrong way to make a descent.
Dany Heatley, who forced his way off the Atlanta Thrashers after he was convicted of vehicular manslaughter is in the process of trying to get his way off his current team, the Ottawa Senators, in the process angering pretty much everyone in Ottawa. To make matters worse, when the Senators actually ceded to Heatley’s request and traded him to the Edmonton Oilers, he exercised his no-trade clause and turned down the move.
So, the proprietors of the Ballygiblin’s Restaurant and Pub in downtown Ottawa have added a new item to the menu, thanks to a kitchen staffed with all Senators fans, the Dany Heatley Salad. The special salad, which consists of sour grapes, moldy cheese, rotten eggs, and a whiney oiler and vinegar dressing has one other special element, it costs $4 million and as co-owner Roger Weldon adds, “I should mention that we won’t take the four million on credit cards, cheques, or in installments.”
Every year on the 4th of July the Slanch Report takes a look back at our very first blog entry, one that changed the entire landscape of the world as we unraveled the many many hidden messages within Roland Emmerich’s masterpiece, Independence Day. Join us once more and let’s hope we can learn.
________
Despite being panned by critics, audiences flocked to see Roland Emmerich’s newest opus, 10,000 BC, and I think I know why.
In 1996, Emmerich directed one of the finest action movies of all-time, Independence Day. More than just a movie, this film was a prognosticator of the future.
If only we had been listening.
Three different, very clear messages were placed in this movie. The first, seen here, is taken from the moment when Jeff Goldblum’s character explains to the President the idea of “line-of-sight” and how satellites work.
Notice the drawing that Goldblum does, look familiar? Maybe that’s because it looks awfully congruent to THIS!
Eerily similar no?
Now a random image in a movie is one thing, merely coincidence, but only moments later, after convincing the President that the time to leave is now, Goldblum and Pullman exit with others onboard Marine One. As they take off, Goldblum pulls out his handy mid-90’s Mac Powerbook and looks at the countdown timer…
Now its starting to get a little bit more real, you’re starting to feel that tingle up your spine…
Let’s not forget what these “aliens” do in this movie. With a carefully orchestrated attack, the aliens destroy the Capitol Records building, the Empire State Building and the White House instantly and simultaneously.
It is only when all of the world joins together, putting aside its squabbles, putting aside religious and cultural differences to fight a common enemy that there is success. Goldblum and Will Smith ride deep into space and into the alien mothership armed with a nuclear bomb. They set it off and it causes the protective shields to come down off the ships floating around Earth. Earth responds with attacks, Randy Quaid saves the day, flies his F-15 into the most vulnerable part of the alien ship and destroys it almost instantly. But it doesn’t just blow up, Roland Emmerich, that mad German throws one last message out there for those who know how to hear (see) it.
Who saves the world from aliens?
Of course! How could America (and the rest of the dirty world) defeat aliens? Because of Jesus (or Burning Man…)! It only makes sense, just ask the Mormons.
So what conclusions can we take from these messages?
So, these images, none of which have been doctored or photoshopped in any manner prove conclusively that Independence Day warned us, in advance that the Masons were going to be involved in something that would destroy a building. Not only that, but the movie tells us the exact date. The movie showed us the dangers in having a president not listen to those who know. But did President Bush listen? When Jeff Goldblum arrives out of nowhere to warn his President, that president listens, and many–well…some–lives are saved. Ultimately though, the whole world is saved, because one man was able to convince the most powerful, and because the powerful were willing to listen. We didn’t understand the message that Emmerich was presenting us in 1996. But it is not too late now!
The Day After Tomorrow showed us the effects that global warming will have upon us, and particularly New York City, are we heeding the message?
Independence Day warns us about the Masons, warns us about 9/11 and warns us continually about the dangers of aliens to America. These aliens expose their plan to Bill Pullman who realizes that “they’re like locusts. They travel from planet to planet, their whole civilization. After they’ve consumed every natural resource they move on. And we’re next.” Sounds awfully familiar to the refrains of alien workers draining resources from the government and stealing those awesome avocado picking jobs that everyone wants so badly.
In this election season there is no doubt that not only should you see 10,000 BC, but if you care about America and the world, that you need to see this film. Take your kids, your friends, your parents, anyone whom you want to live.
This might be the most important film in the history of the world.
You’ve heard of Cinéma Verité…If only our leaders will listen to the modern day Nostradamus, Roland Emmerich.
I don’t know what it is about closers but Tom Verducci of SI assembled his list of the 10 best closers of all time and most of the list features one form or another of AWESOME facial hair, including some of the best mustaches to never be seen on a 70s porn set. It’s worth checking out.
In the movie Major League, team owner Rachel Phelps, in an effort to cause the Indians to play worse, starts removing the amenities that big leaguers are used to; I wonder if the Wilpons are doing something similar with the Mets. Either that, or they lost a whole lot more money than they are admitting to Madoff, because the Mets rolled into Pittsburgh last night and arrived at their hotel, they found out that Anthrocon 2009 was ALSO being held there. Anthrocon, being, obviously, the big convention for furry fetishists.
Kevin Burkhardt of SNY, delightful scamp that he is tweeted about it when they arrived at the hotel, and managed to post an incredible picture of “a person who was dressed like Ralph Wigam as a Beaver.”
Look for the Pirates to sweep the Mets now…
[Deadspin]
Vodpod videos no longer available.
In April, Florida International University made the questionable choice of hiring Isiah Thomas as their new men’s basketball coach. The hiring was idiotic; he’s never been a good coach, he’s been terrible in management positions and of course, his personal behavior can be a bit, er, erratic shall we say. Throw in that Thomas was given a 5-year $5 million contract, (although he has said he will donate his first year salary BACK to the school) and the decision makes zero sense. Now, thanks to adding in Thomas’ big money deal, the school is forced to make cutbacks elsewhere. First off, and most horribly, the cheerleading team is being scrapped!
In order for the program to be saved, the cheerleaders need to raise $50,000, which they have been attempting to do via bake sale, bikini car wash (yes!) and of course, a calendar. Now, if only the school had some money lying around, hmmm, if only they didn’t wastefully spend it on a basketball coach who will leave the program in tatters and produce zero success. If only!
Of course, if this turns out to be a move solely to prevent Isiah Thomas from being around cute college co-eds, I
wholeheartedly support it and retract all my criticism.
At the NFL’s Rookie Symposium the New England Patriots rookies, for the second year in a row, won the Ultimate Rookie Challenge. The symposium, mandatory for all NFL rookies, is intended to help prepare the rookies for the difficulties in adjusting to the professional game.
Throughout the three-and-a-half day symposium, which started Sunday evening and ended today, rookies were asked a series of questions based on symposium presentations and basic NFL trivia.
The combined individual scores of the Patriots rookies were the best of any NFL team at the symposium, which was held in Palm Beach Gardens, Fla.
As a reward for having the highest scores, the Patriots rookies each won a free 32″ flat-screen TV.
The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
The Slanch Report 
Recent Comments