Archive for the 'Awesome' Category

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15
Jul
09

Pimped Out Ride Gets Ganked

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags: , ,

Carolina Panthers linebacker Thomas Davis reported to police that last Saturday his car was stolen; it shouldn’t be too hard for the police to spot, it is a 1975 custom painted purple Chevrolet Caprice Classic with his portrait on the trunk. The $136,000 car with multiple upgrades and special features which includes a custom steering wheel with Davis’ name and football number on it. The car is so pimped out it was featured prominently in an article about Davis and his rides in the car pimping magazine, Dubs.

Sitting in his driveway, the car was swiped at some point on Saturday night, I don’t know what the thieves were thinking, yes the car is dope, but you can’t drive that thing ANYWHERE without being super obvious right?

[Charlotte Observer via Sporting News]

14
Jul
09

Canterbury Tales

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

g0da2584b660ddbe45e4f87189bab0721d0ffdaeebe6578Having never been done at the Major League level, and only once in all of the minor leagues, the Home Run Cycle is the rarest of rare in baseball. High schooler Eli Canterbury however can say that, for one day, he did something legendary after completing the feat last Wednesday during a 19-1 victory in the District 1 All-Star tournament in Barboursville, WV.

“After the first one, I never dreamt it would happen again,” his mom, Angela Canterbury said. “To be honest, I just didn’t want him to strike out.”

Even cooler than just doing the deed, Canterbury hit the 4 home runs in order; his first at-bat was a solo shot and when he strode to the plate in his final AB — with the 2-run and 3-run shots already taken care of — the bases were full, and soon, the ball was flying over the fence, a Grand Slam.

“I don’t really know what I thought. He pitched it and I hit it,” Eli Canterbury said. “I just tried to swing straight and stay level.”

Awesome. Simply AWESOME.

[Herald-Dispatch]

14
Jul
09

The Devil Is in the Uniforms

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

At Saturday’s Rays game, they wore some retro uniforms, all the way back to the good ol’ days of 1998! Since dropping the “Devil” part of their name, the Rays have won 145 games over the last season and a half, add in the teams first winning season/playoff appearance/World Series appearance and it seems like dropping the Beelzebubian part of their name has worked.

In Saturday’s game manager Joe Maddon was ejected, the team’s 4-game win streak was halted, catcher Dioner Navarro was taken to the hospital after taking a foul ball off the side of his face and worst of all, SMASH MOUTH played a concert at the Tropicana after the game.

We just seem to play better in a Rays uniform,” said Joe Maddon. “That was not pretty.”

I wouldn’t expect to see the “retro” uniforms again any time soon.

Also, to be fair, I used to really like the Smash Mouth first album.

[The Ledger]

14
Jul
09

So That’s AN Idea

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Olympics, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , ,

campbell2A medal hopeful for the 2012 Olympic games in London, New Zealand’s Ben Campbell came up with a unique idea to raise money for his taekwando training, he wants to open a brothel.

“There is no point me going to the Olympics to make up the numbers if I go I want to be a medal contender,” he told a local television station. Campbell, who needs to raise $190,000 over the next two years in order to compete he says may be now barred from the games for his “gentlemen’s club” business venture.

Taekwondo New Zealand’s Secretary General Matt Ransom said that “It may be unlikely that he will be selected because of his involvement.”

Under New Zealand law, he is legally allowed to open a brothel, but that apparently doesn’t matter to his sport’s national governing body.

“This is perfectly legal, so I do not see why I would wreck my chances,” Campbell said, he added that if other people had worthwhile other options he’d listen, but as yet, nothing else had emerged.

I understand, there is simply too much money in running a brothel to pass up. Plus the perks! You know, like going to conventions and getting newsletters and stuff. What did you think I meant?

[CNN]

14
Jul
09

Pujols Puts His Money Where His Mouth is

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: ,

albert-pujolsDuring the home run bonanzas of the steroid days, then-SI writer Rick Reilly challenged Sammy Sosa to take a piss test to prove he didn’t use steroids. Despite being a douche of the umpteenth degree, Reilly has been proven right. Now, while putting up one of the best first-halves in the history of the game, Albert Pujols is trying to be the hero that baseball needs, the one that everyone thought Alex Rodriguez was, until he proved to have been a steroids user too.

“I can understand people being disappointed with A-Rod and Manny,” Pujols says, “But just because Manny made a mistake, now I have to pay? Just because A-Rod made a mistake, now I have to pay? Oh, guilt by association? That’s wrong.”

“For people to be suspicious of me because of the year I’m having and for people to say I just haven’t been caught, that makes me angry and disappointed.

“I would never do any of that crap. You think I’m going to ruin my relationship with God just because I want to get better in this game? You think I’m going to ruin everything because of steroids?”

Already tested he says 6 times, Pujols says that if that isn’t enough, he’s willing to be tested EVERY DAY, and if he is caught using anything banned, he’ll repay to his employers, the St. Louis Cardinals every cent they’ve paid him.

“Come test me every day if you want. Everything I ever made in this game I would give back to the Cardinals if I got caught,” he told reporters.

In this day and age when the fans look at all the players as tainted, I desperately hope that Pujols is the real deal. I don’t care that much about steroids, if everyone was doing them, so be it, it’s unfortunate for the ones who weren’t, but they weren’t complaining when their salaries were rising thanks to the steroids users. However, I want Pujols to be clean.

Albert Pujols is simply too damn good at baseball. If he is using steroids it might break my heart. I want to believe that the things I see him do are legit, I want to believe that a human being is capable of being as incredible as he is; if he were to test positive I don’t know what I’d do.

At this point, no one would surprise me, but Pujols would disappoint me. I hope these statements of his are true, that he is clean and that the evidence will back it up. Baseball needs him. I need him. And at least one of my fantasy teams needs him too.

[USA Today]

10
Jul
09

Hanrahan Gets the Win Miles Away

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , ,

20080529-005237-pic-47351916It took until July 9th, but Joel Hanrahan finally got his first win of the season, and he did it with probably the easiest outing of his season, and on a day off no less! Relaxing in Philadelphia with his new Pirates teammates, 15oo miles away his former mates on the Nationals were taking on the Astros in the continuation of a game started on May 5.

The original game was in the 11th inning when the game was forced to be suspended due to rain. Tied at 10, Hanrahan was on-deck to bat when the game was called. The game was finally resumed last night, albeit in Houston instead of Washington. LaTroy Hawkins who was pitching when the game was originally called was back out on the mound gave up a single and then an error by Miguel Tejada led to a quick run for the Nationals and the game.

Hanrahan, traded on June 30th to the Pirates thus earned his first win of the season, for a team he no longer plays for, improving his record to 1-3.

[ESPN]

10
Jul
09

Ooh, Ball in Your Face

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball, Other Sports, People Hurting Themselves, Random and Soccer
Tags:

In honor of Erin Andrews taking a ball off the face on Wednesday, here’s a gallery assembled by Bula Pictures of other people taking a ball, or foot, or dog to the face. Enjoy!

18

[Bula Pictures]

09
Jul
09

I Think Jeter Wins This One

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

I was looking through some of my blog stuff today and noticed that for some reason, this post I wrote a few days ago never posted, so, here it be. Apologies for the lateness.

I simply can’t say it any better than the folks over at Barstool Sports did with this one, so, enjoy!

“Jeter vs. A-Rod Summed Up in Two Photos”

jeter arod
[Barstool Sports]

09
Jul
09

There Goes Her Social Life

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball, Hot Women and Television
Tags: , ,

erin_andrews_sexy_4At last night’s Mets/Dodgers game Erin Andrews and the rest of the Wednesday night baseball ESPN crew were in attendance. Unfortunately for her, she got a ball in the face from Alex Cora when he hit a line drive foul in the 4th inning.

Now, less classy people would make plenty of balls on her chin jokes, but I’m way above that. I don’t need to stoop to that level. Indeed a lesser man might make plenty of oral sex jokes, or even deep-throating comments, but again, that’s not me. I’m all class.

Anyways, she was taken to the hospital a few innings later and her only injury was a bruised chin.

[TMZ]

09
Jul
09

What Can YOUR Vagina Do?

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , ,

TatiataKozhevnikovaonallfoursIn sports when athletes reaches their 40s it usually is precipitated by a drastic drop-off in skill level. That doesn’t appear to be the case with 41 year-old Russian citizen, Tatiata Kozhevnikova who, after training for 15 years, has entered the Guiness Book of World Records as the greatest Vagina Lifting champion ever after holding a 31 pound weight solely with her lady parts.

This wasn’t something Kozhevnikova always could do, she explains that “After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls, I looked around, saw a Murano glass ball and inserted it in my vagina.” Makes sense to me.

I love the idea that she was sitting in her house and is just looking around for random objects to shove inside herself to tighten up.

The whole process of training is pretty easy she claims, “You insert one of the balls in your vagina, and it has a string attached to it with a little hook at the very end. You fix a second ball onto this hook.” Bing-Bang-Boom, Vagina Lifting champion.

[In Game Now]

09
Jul
09

Canseco Soon to Be Beaten By Wing Champion

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball and Douches
Tags: , ,

203Because he always needs money and desperately needs attention, Jose Canseco has agreed to enter the boxing ring once more, this time against competitive eating champion Bill “El Wingador” Simmons (left). Canseco in three previous fighting matches has been knocked out by a former Philadelphia Eagle, fought to a draw against DANNY BONADUCE, and was pummeled by 7’2″ Korean kickboxer Hong Man Choi, so I’m sure Simmons is VERY intimidated by Canseco’s prowess.

The fight will be on July 24th although the venue is yet to be announced; I’m sure ticket prices will be low and there will be plenty of empty seats.

Simmons — who has won the illustrious Philadelphia Wing Bowl a record 5 times — came out of retirement in 2008 to compete once more, finishing in third with a personal record 205 wings eaten in 2 minutes. I imagine his farts alone can knock out Jose.

[Celebrity Boxing]

09
Jul
09

Nice Hands Murph

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: ,

Three Mets-related posts in a row? I better be careful or Red Sox Nation may take away my membership card…

However, this phenomenal play by Daniel Murphy is simply too great to pass up. Sure, he could never ever do this play again no matter how many chances he got, but all that matters is that the one time it came up, not only did he get to the ball, but he got the out.

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