The Slanch Report

I don’t golf, I find the act of hitting the ball enjoyable, aiming and or following after it — not so much. Throw in the slowness of the game and I simply can’t get excited about it. However, a new service in the UK has me willing to reconsider. Introducing Eye Candy Caddies who will assign you a young female model to serve as your caddy at various clubs throughout England.

Wearing tight pink uniforms, the caddies will accompany you on the course, carry your clubs and “offer advice on prevailing wind conditions.” Finally! I’ve been waiting for YEARS for women to offer me advice on my wind.

Looking at the money men spend on golf, the Eye Candy website keenly advertises itself as “the gorgeous new solution for unforgettable golf days,” and that “other golfers will be green with envy.”

Most importantly, the caddies are “much more than just a pretty face,” having completed a golf caddying training course – which, according to the website, includes learning what ‘Fore!’ means. That must have been a tough class! Strangely, the girls’ bios don’t mention anything about their golf qualifications…

Sarah Stacey the Managing Director of the company said: “We add that extra sparkle and difference to any golf day and put a smile on people’s faces. All the girls are trained in the etiquette of golf and uniformed in appropriate golf attire. They all sign a code of conduct so everyone is clear about the boundaries.”

Those boundaries include: “Models are not encouraged to fraternize with clients after an assignment has ended. If a client asks a model to engage in social activities after an assignment has ended, it is the model’s responsibility to refuse the offer or if accepting to make it clear that he or she is doing so on a personal basis.”

Looks like I’ll have to make my move while we’re still ON the assignment then…

[Eye Candy Caddies and Daily Mail]