Despite being 11.5 games out of the lead for the NL Central, the Cincinnati Reds don’t believe they’re out of it, so they swung a major deal over the weekend for both their present and their future. Of course, I’m referring to the news that is already everywhere across the nation, that everyone is talking about, the Reds have finally chosen their OFFICIAL and exclusive ketchup provider. Finally!
Our long national nightmare is finally over and we can get back to our regular, dull lives!
Red Gold Premium Ketchup are the lucky winners and will become the sole providers for the Reds at their 32 food stands. I’m just glad that this whole ordeal is at long last over and the Reds can get back to concentrating on the game. In fact, I’m almost certain that this long search has been the reason why the Reds are so far out of contention. Sure, critics might point to Dusty Baker and say that since he doesn’t understand how to properly manage a baseball team, or that he ignores statistics that would actually help his team because he’s “old-school” and that he’s out of touch with the current game, but to those people I say ketchup!
The Reds are primed to go on a Rockies-like streak and most likely win the World Series this year, solely propelled via the high quality Red Gold PREMIUM Ketchup.
Say you’re a member of the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers, you work hard all season long and you get rewarded with the greatest present possible, a Super Bowl victory. The next year you’re given a ring to commemorate your team’s accomplishment, on the side of the ring are included the scores of the playoff games your team won.
In an extremely rare moment of government, the right thing was actually done earlier today. A federal appears court in Philadelphia today 
The Slanch Report 
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