Archive for November, 2008



18
Nov
08

Ride That Little Pony

ALCS Rays Red Sox BaseballDustin Pedroia did it! In his first year he gets the Rookie of the Year, in his second he adds a Gold Glove, a Silver Slugger AND the MVP. That’s a hell of a way to start a career for a guy who is the same size as me. When you think about how the initial comparisons to Pedroia when he was drafted was a slightly better David Eckstein (mostly because he was a small scrappy white guy) to where he is today, pretty damn impressive. Beyond the stats, which were impressive, watching him play every day is a delight, Pedroia is the tough as nails guy that we all know who goes all out in everything he does and somehow succeeds despite never being the best. When the Red Sox needed him, Pedroia carried the team, hitting a ridiculous .350/.398/.485 for July and then, when the team needed offense after the trade of Manny Ramirez, Pedroia hit a RIDICULOUS .374/.425/.635 with an OPS+ of 177(!) in August. Wow. The only thing I simply don’t understand is that one of the writers somehow didn’t list Pedroia on his ballot AT ALL. OK, you don’t think he’s the MVP, fine, but you’re saying that he’s not even on the BALLOT? That’s ridiculous. According to WEEI and Lou Merloni, the writer who left him off the ballot was Evan Grant from the Dallas Morning News is the guy who didn’t list him. WTF? UPDATE: The Boston Globe confirmed that it was Grant who left him off, and he responded with his reasoning, most of which is lame, but at least he knows what OPS is, so that’s something…

With the possible departure of Jason Varitek, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Pedroia, despite only being a big leaguer for 2 years become the next captain of the Red Sox. Also, for fun comparison sake, after the jump the last Red Sox MVP.

Continue reading ‘Ride That Little Pony’

18
Nov
08

Citi Field Remains

I joked about it yesterday but the douchiness of Citibank is pretty hard to ignore. Via the Biz of Baseball comes the report that despite laying of 53,000 workers, about twenty percent of their workforce, there is no intention of Citi reneging on their record $20 million per season naming rights deal. Well that just makes perfect fucking sense to me. Wouldn’t you love to be one of the 53,000 newly unemployed people, be told that there simply isn’t any money to pay you, but of course, there is still $20M available to throw the company’s name up on the facade of a billion dollar building. I know that I would be PSYCHED! Sure, I can’t pay my rent and my kids are going hungry, but I’m glad that the brand name is still getting publicity. Besides, what’s $400M these days, chump change right! I’m sure that money simply couldn’t be used more effectively, maybe by helping the employees, naaaaah, what am I thinking, that must be my socialist nature coming out.

See what I want to do is take the wealth from the corporations that are stupidly wasting it on useless shit like stadium naming rights and instead give it to the employees so they don’t need to lose their jobs. CuRAZY! I’m a fucking socialist!

I’m sure that there has been lots of research on naming rights, but I follow sports religiously, many of my friends (OK, well, the random people who I have begged to be my “friend” on Friendster…) also watch lots of sports, and I don’t know anyone who has ever EVER bought anything or opted for a service because the company had their name on a stadium. OOOH Quicken Loans Arena, I must run out and buy Quicken because I love the Cavs! Reliant Energy Stadium, whenever I need energy, they are who I will use. Minute Maid Park,  mmmm juice!

I simply don’t understand these corporations shelling out millions upon millions of dollars simply to have their name on a building. I get that every time the stadium is mentioned the brand name is too, but 99 times out of 100 the name sounds fucking STUPID. Seriously, Quicken Loans Arena? WTF!?! I want more War Memorial Stadiums, less ATT WIRELESS BLACKBERRY STORM FIELDs.

Meanwhile, decent people are losing their jobs because these corporations are foolishly spending these ridiculous sums on a useless thing. It’s despicable.

18
Nov
08

What a Dam Ride

England being so dull and boring, some adventurous kayakers went by a 300 foot high dam in Wales and decided that, yup, they needed to go down it. So, courtesy of the BBC here are some strangely really small images of them doing it. Looks simultaneously awesome and terrifying.

[BBC]

17
Nov
08

Full Moon Over Italy

In Italy’s Serie A soccer league, one of the most competitive soccer leagues in the world, every little bit helps, especially in what is generally a low scoring game. So, when Giuseppe Mascara lined up to take a deciding penalty kick, with the score tied 2-2, three other members of the Sicilian team Catania dropped their shorts so that the goalkeeper was screened from seeing the ball.

“This is a strategy that (Catania coach Walter) Zenga tries continually in training,” the club’s chief executive Pietro Lo Monaco told RAI state radio Monday. Not everyone was psyched by this creative maneuver, with a former referee coordinator calling the move unsportsmanlike and in bad taste, but I like it. Then again, anytime public nudity comes into play I’m probably going to be a fan.

However, Lo Manaco disagrees with the former ref and other critics who called it a trick, saying “A trick? I wouldn’t say so. It’s up to the referee to decide if it should be penalized, otherwise I don’t see where the problem is….Good taste is relative.”

I look forward to this being used more often in other sports venues. This would obviously be a VERY effective strategy against Jeff Garcia anytime he’s under center…What about maybe Eddy Curry dropping trou right before LeBron takes a foul shot, I mean, the sight of a posterior that size might block out the hoop, the lights, everything. I think this could start a wonderful new trend in sports, and I for one cannot wait until the ESPN Top 10 mooning incidents.

17
Nov
08

Mark Cuban Gets Busted *(UPDATED)*

Maverick Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has been charged with insider trading by the Security and Exchanges Commission for allegedly selling shares in the website company “mamma.com” after learning it was raising private money. The move ended up saving approximately $750k for the man worth about $2.8 billion. From the Wall Street Journal who broke this story:

The SEC alleges in a civil action that Mr. Cuban sold his entire 6% ownership stake on June 28, 2004, after learning that Mamma.com was raising money through a private investment in a public entity, or PIPE. The next day, on June 29, the company announced the PIPE financing and shares of the company dropped by more than 10%. By selling his stake, the SEC alleges, Mr. Cuban avoided more than $750,000 in losses.

In a PIPE transaction new shares are issued at a discount to the current trading price. An announcement of a PIPE transaction is often followed by a drop in the stock price as shareholders anticipate their stake will be diluted.

Cuban, who was already a super long shot to become the next owner of the Chicago Cubs can likely expect that this will completely take him out of the running. Which is a shame because he’s probably the only likely buyer who could get Chicago a championship before the end of the world.

Unfortunately, Cuban was unable to use his insider trading acumen to avoid getting hosed on that Jason Kidd trade last season…

UPDATE:

Mark Cuban, on his personal blog released this statement through his attorney:

“I wish I could say more, but I will have to leave it to this, and let the judicial process do its job…I am disappointed that the Commission chose to bring this case based upon its Enforcement staff’s win-at-any-cost ambitions. The staff’s process was result-oriented, facts be damned. The government’s claims are false and they will be proven to be so.”

17
Nov
08

Girls CAN Play Ball

eriJapan, home to used panties vending machines and pornography collector extraordinaire cum baseball player Hideki Matsui finally has been able to combine these two distinctly Japanese things into one succinct 16 year old package. That would be Eri Yoshida, a 16 year old girl who became the first woman to ever be drafted for a professional baseball league in Japan. The league, a new independent one that will launch in April is excited to feature Yoshida’s devastating side-arm knuckleball that her new manager refers to as a marvel.

“I never dreamed of getting drafted,” Yoshida told reporters Monday, a day after she was selected to play for the Kobe 9 Cruise.

“I have only just been picked by the team and have not achieved anything,” she said. “I want to play as a pro eventually in a higher league.”

The best part, her idol is Tim Wakefield. How many other 16 year old girls adore Tim Wakefield, that makes her OK in my book.

17
Nov
08

If There’s Grass on the Field

Citifield takes one more step towards baseball activities, I look forward to seeing it in person in 4-6 years when I have saved enough money to get an upper deck ticket. Also, I hope the Mets got the $20 mill per season in advance from Citi for the naming rights…

17
Nov
08

Beanie Wants His Nickname to Be Superman

Even as I continually (rightfully) deride college football, there continue to be some amazing clips from the games that are worthy of posting. Like for instance this one of Ohio State running back Beanie Wells leaping over a defender. This is a dope dope play, but also one you never see in the NFL, do you know why that is? It’s because the athletes there are too good and smart for that, and so if Wells tried this in the NFL he’d be wrapped up and then driven into the ground. But, it happened in a college game so instead you get this!

And for those of you who need to see everything in super slow motion with an epic soundtrack stay tuned after the jump.

Continue reading ‘Beanie Wants His Nickname to Be Superman’

14
Nov
08

Times are Tough in Cincinnati

The Cincinnati Bengals are woeful, their 1-8 record only belies their ineptitude. You’d think after so many years that the Bengals faithful would be used to it, accepting of their position as the bottom feeders of the NFL. Sure there was that one teaser year when Carson Palmer was good and the team was in the playoffs, but as has become quickly apparent, that was the aberration, rather than a sign of things to come. In a desperate attempt to no longer be laughingstocks, some fans in Cincy have bought 4 billboards around town with this message:

Good luck Bengals fans. You have another 15-26 year losing streak coming up. I suggest drinking. I find whiskey helps.

14
Nov
08

The Perfect Gift

Worry no more about still very far off holiday gift-giving; ESPN has created the PERFECT gift for old and young. Whether you aspire to become Karl Ravech or merely one of those random ESPNEWS guys, this is the one and only gift you should be desiring. For ONLY 14.95 you can get the ESPN Sportscaster Mic, which will as ESPN describes, ” Fulfill your dream of being an ESPN announcer.” At last! Sure, most of my ESPN fantasies involve Erin Andrews and me in a mascot costume, but really who doesn’t also want to hold the vaunted ESPN labeled mic and be a part of sports. And with the Sportscaster Mic now you can! “With its built-in speaker, you can announce the game or make the calls from anywhere you want. Three modes of sounds, football, baseball and basketball make you feel like you’re right on the field or court for the big game.” I’ve been waiting for YEARS for there to be finally a speaker that can add in loud, unclear random fan noise so that I can truly be in the game. Plus, think of all the new friends you’ll make when everyone sees that you have the authentic ESPN mic. I know that for me, when I go down to the park and watch kids’ soccer games I won’t have to worry about the police being called anymore, now I can whip something ELSE out and everyone will be impressed and actually WANT to talk to me. So thanks ESPN! Oh, and if my interviewing techniques or game calling skills aren’t up to snuff, the mic also includes advice from real Sportscenter anchor Steve Levy. It’ll be EXACTLY like he’s there next to you, being your friend, in fact, he is contractually obligated to come hang out with you and be your friend on facebook, so, you got that at least.

[Fang’s Bites via The Big Lead]

13
Nov
08

Don’t Forget to Jump

When an object is in your way, you hurdle over it. When said hurdle knocks you down and you make an awesome thunk sound on the ground, I blog about it.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

[Barstool Sports]

12
Nov
08

Japan’s Samurais Ready to Attack

samurai1Fresh off the first championship in World Baseball Classic history, Japan is ready to come back and dominate once more. To that end, the team’s officials have named the team “Samurai Japan,” Ryozo Kato, the commissioner of Japanese professional baseball said “It’s a name that we know our fans will appreciate.” The team, expected to comprise current MLB stars like Ichiro and Daisuke Matsuzaka as well as Japanese league stars should contend for the title once more. I would expect nothing less from a team with a fiery personality like Ichiro on board. Anyone who says things like “I hope he [Matsuzaka] arouses the fire that’s dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul,” as Ichiro did during the season is an OK leader in my book. Also, when you can have someone who can unleash a stream of obscene invectives as your captain, you’re in good shape.

[International Herald Tribune]




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

November 2008
M T W T F S S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930

Categories