Posts Tagged ‘Alex Rodriguez


Unmentionable Gift Ideas!

Great, somehow I totally screwed this up and this post never got posted. I only just noticed. Sigh. It’s probably completely outdated but, I liked it, so I’m putting it up anyways. This was supposed to go up on December 5. Fuck! I’m an idiot.

Want to give a unique gift to your favorite sports fan this holiday season? Forget bobbleheads or a new jersey. Sportsworld, a Saugus, Massachusetts-based sports memorabilia company has a series of auctions on eBay for which you’ll want to break out the checkbook.

Need a gift for your boyfriend who just loves to be dominated by muscular women? Sportsworld has just the right thing for you: Alex Rodriguez’ game-worn (XL) underwear!

arod1Unfortunately for all those fem-A-Rod fans, these have been washed. Sigh. Fortunately, the bidding hasn’t gotten out of control yet, with a high bid as of this posting of only $177.

Maybe you’re not shopping for such a fey sports fan and you want to get some memorabilia from someone a bit more rough and tumble. Perhaps something from the type of man whose beard alone convinces you that he should never be left alone with children and that at any moment he could snap and go off on a 6 state ax-murdering spree is more your speed. In that case, never fear, Sportsworld has you covered with your very own pair of Kevin Youkilis underwear! And the auction doesn’t note whether the underwear has been washed or not, so if you’re lucky they just might come with special Youk Musk!

Apparently there’s no love out there for Youk’s unmentionables though as the auction right now is only at $50. C’mon people, the Greek God of Walks’ Elgin Marbles brushed up against this fabric, I know there is a recession but dig deep in those pockets!

There’s a chance that sweaty athletic men aren’t your thing. Perchance you’re buying for a more analytical, intellectual type of sports fan. The type of fan who loves to check the pitch count and can talk for hours about the tilt of a slider versus a curve. Don’t worry, Sportsworld also has you covered with your very own pair of Red Sox pitching coach John Farrell’s undies! Finally! I’ve been clamoring for YEARS for more undergarments from major league coaching staffs and now finally, my prayers have been answered.

farrell1Not only did Farrell’s little general butt up against these briefs, but the thrifty shopper will notice right now that the high bid is a mere 10 dollars, give your favorite Red Sox fan a unique piece of history without breaking the bank. They’ll never know the difference! And again, there is no mention of these being washed (I guess the Sox are less concerned with hygiene) so there’s that too.



Look, It’s Where A-Rod Poops!

In case you’ve ever wondered what a $27.5 million dollar salary buys in terms of apartments in New York City, here are some photos of Alex Rodriguez’ pad. Looks classy. Except for that horse painting, that seems uber-lame and cliche. Keep in mind this house is basically the same as my spot in Brooklyn… sigh.



A-Rod Salutes the Plebes

Washington may be claiming that the economy is in crisis, but if you’re a baseball slugger with the two richest contracts in sports history times they ain’t so bad. Sure, your team got bounced from even getting to the playoffs for the first time in over a decade, but really it’s Jeter’s team anyways, so it isn’t A-Rod’s fault. Hence him out for a meal with a couple friends including, according to the NY Post a “sexy brunette.” Always aware of the media’s attention to him, he switched seats from sitting next to her to sitting across when he noticed photographers setting up. Fortunately though, A-Rod, a man who can quite easily set up his own version of Scrooge McDuck’s money bin, still provided some moments of interest for the photographers and in particular for all those people who are in danger of losing their homes and life savings. That’s because A-Rod has so much money he can use $100 bills as napkins. Now THAT’S living the dream!


[NY Post]


No One Wants to Be A-Rod’s Friend

Alex Rodriguez is a very popular man, his teammates love him and would walk through a brick wall to help him. That’s why when he threw a party at Jay-Z’s 40/40 club, none of them showed up.

It’s sad when no one shows up to your party and, according to the NY Post, you are left throwing back shots sitting next to your mommy.

Meanwhile Derek Jeter continues to torture me by dating Minka Kelly, as she came to his party at Marquee. STAY AWAY FROM HER JETER, YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH, LEAVE SOME FOR THE REST OF US!

Sigh. At least Alyssa Milano and I are still dating

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A-Rod Slightly Creepy, Definitely Pervy

Alex Rodriguez has been through a whirlwind of tabloid gossip the last week or so, with news of his impending divorce, rumored affair with Madonna and of course, last year’s episodes with the manly stripper. So, the NY Post, bastion of hard-hitting journalism had a photographer following A-Rod around and managed to grab these shots of him staring at some rando girl’s butt as she walked in front of him.

I especially love that smile he’s giving her, the Post described it as “A-Rod’s famous smile,” I’d say it’s more lecherous and pervy, but hey, I don’t have a fancy journalism degree so what do I know? To me, it looks more like an “I’m gonna have sex with you and then eat one of your arms while sniffing your high heels” kind of smile, but that’s only a guess…

At least when I smile at women they don’t clutch their bags like they might need to escape in a moment’s notice. They’re usually too busy trying to catch themselves from fainting from how devastatingly handsome I am.

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Why Doesn’t Jose Canseco Just Get Lost?

When his first book Juiced, came out, Jose Canseco was ultimately proved to have spoken the truth. When he named names they checked out as steroid users (including an off-hand mention of some 7 time Cy Young winner who is a fat greedy man.)

Now, Jose, desperate and with an ax to grind against MLB Jose proclaimed that Alex Rodriguez and Magglio Ordonez were two other players that he KNEW did steroids in his newest book, Vindicated.

However, if he were so sure, since he was personally involved, why did he wait until now to mention them? Were A-Rod and Maggs unknowns then? No, they were both big-name stars, who would have only helped sell his book even more than just the tales of shooting Mcgwire with steroids in a bathroom stall. So that’s the suspicious thing number 1.

Jose has unabashedly admitted that part of the reason he is writing the book is because he feels that he was unfairly blackballed from baseball because of his steroid past. Now, maybe I’m wrong, but as an industry that is trying to clean itself up, it is probably best not to keep hiring a player whose skills were eroding and whose negative media attention would only be a distraction. Joseph Hazelwood captained the Exxon Valdez into a reef, strangely, he was not seen as an eminently hire-able ship captain after that. Was that so unfair?

Continue reading ‘Why Doesn’t Jose Canseco Just Get Lost?’


A-Rod Simply “Not Bright Enough”

In today’s NY Post there is an interview with former bullpen catcher Mike Borzello of the Yankees about Jose Canseco’s most recent steroid allegations against Alex Rodriguez. According to Borzello, who says that “nobody in the last four years, including his wife because she wasn’t on the road, spent more time with Alex than I did,” and that there is simply no way that A-Rod did any illegal performance enhancing drugs.

During the period that Canseco details Borzello didn’t know A-Rod but he claims that Rodriguez might have an occasional beer, but otherwise is “afraid of drugs and alcohol.” Therefore, to Borzello’s mind, there is simply no way that Canseco can be telling the truth.

“In four years I was with him 24 hours a day, and not one time did I ever hear, see or get wind of anything having to do with performance enhancing drugs, steroids, HGH, anything. No way, with as much as this guy trusted me, would he have kept that part of his life secret from me. He trusted me with everything, and I was with him every day all day long. It would have been impossible to show me everything behind the curtain except for this. He is not that bright to be able to pull that off.” [emphasis added]

Continue reading ‘A-Rod Simply “Not Bright Enough”’

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March 2023