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I used to LOVE playing Hydrothunder a generally lame video game almost solely because I enjoyed the opening screen with the voiceover’s loud “HYDROTHUUUUNNNNDDDDEEER” announcement. So, in honor of that, how about an awesome crash of a hydroplane to get your week started? I thought so.
When the entire economy is collapsing methinks the executive leader of the nation should try to pay attention to the problem and focus on the issues at hand. Of course, that is not the way in which George Bush governs. So, last week as the financial institutions in New York were collapsing, taking thousands of jobs and billions of dollars with them, Bush was palling around with my champion Boston Celtics. I get that the visit to the White House is an annual event and that maybe Bush wasn’t able to avoid the issue, but when he addressed the issue he started speaking at 10:15 and was done and gone without even taking a question by 10:17. That’s 2 minutes! He must have been worried about keeping the much more important Celtics waiting. Doc Rivers waits for no man!
So, after avoiding doing anything worthwhile in actual governing, Bush met with the Celtics and spent significantly more than 2 minutes. During their visit Bush spent time joking about how he once owned the Texas Rangers, the chance to say the Celtics’ team motto “Ubuntu” in a Texas accent, and then spent time extoling the teamwork of the Celts. It’s good to know the priorities of this administration.
Why should our President give a shit, I mean, it is only the start of a global economic collapse. I guess because it wasn’t oil companies it doesn’t matter. I wonder this counts as Bush’s version of Nero fiddling while Rome collapsed. January 20th can’t come soon enough.
Jackass’ favorite midget, Wee Man and the rest of the Jackass crew were filming some bits and the big Shaq Diesel stopped by to hang out and participate. Check out the video below as the 7’1″ 340lb Shaq being picked up by the 4’6″ 120lb Wee Man. As well, Shaq humps Wee Man on the ground, Wee Man hits Shaq with a baseball bat in the stomach and Steve-O hits Shaq with a water balloon full of piss. All in all looks like a fun afternoon of filming!
Earlier today St. Louis Cardinals second baseman Adam Kennedy requested that he be traded during the off-season after manager Tony La Russa informed him that he would not be starting for the rest of this season nor next season. Clearly unhappy, Kennedy showed his manager up by hitting a first inning grand slam in the on-going game between the Cardinals and Cubs right now. That’s certainly one way to voice your displeasure. Unfortunately for Kennedy, in the end he still is a scrub and so one hit won’t make any difference, but regardless, it’s gotta be a pretty satisfying feeling to throw back in La Russa and GM John Mozeliak’s face, at least for one day.
Wow, this PSA from 1988 is amazing. Mario Lemieux, Tony Fernandez AND Bea Arthur? It’s like a dream team I could never even hope to have actually happen, and yet, there it is, real and once broadcast on television. The 80s weren’t so bad after all…
I see this terrifying picture of Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis and I all I can think of is the titular villain from Leprechaun. This picture of him and future lame-duck coach Lane Kiffin is simply terrifying. Of course check out all the other fun doppelgangers here, and if you disagree leave a comment below, all opinions will be heard!
So the folks over at Red Sox Monster got a video from a fan at the game of the guy getting arrested on top of the Rays dugout during the last Sox/Rays tilt. The video isn’t especially revealing, (down in front everyone else!) but gives somewhat of an idea what was going down. I particularly enjoy the commentary from the guy filming, “this is making youtube baby!” quite the society we have built where anyone with a camera or a free blog can write or post anything they want. Totally lame right. Anyhoo, stick around for more of the always illuminating SLANCH REPORT!
The Sacramento River Cats finished off their season the other night with one more victory, leading them to their second straight Pacific Coast League championship and 4th in 6 years. After besting the International League champions from Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, the River Cats took home the much coveted Bricktown Showdown. Seeing that this is the triple-A affiliate of the Athletics I’m pretty surprised. If they have that much constant talent at the AAA level then why is it that the A’s are 22 games back from the Angels? Why is it that the A’s have totally blown the last few years much to my buddy Shanks’ chagrin? This year’s success appears to be related to something much larger than just the team itself. Much like how the Danny Glover led Angels had real angels in the outfield, the Sacramento River Cats had their own ethereal power. It seems the team grew 70s style porn ‘staches. Catcher Justin Konebler says the mustaches may have been the key component, “‘Stache and Bash, I guess that’s our motto for the season. It brought the team together.”
On July 25th of this year, Jose Reyes and Katherine Ramirez were married at a city hall on Long Island. That apparently doesn’t seem to stop the All Star Reyes from enjoying himself whilst on the road. As usual, The Dirty is there, nabbing some photos from not-hot model Bentley Matthews‘ Myspace of her and Jose in a hotel. For example there is this photo of a shirtless Reyes hanging out watching ESPN:
Or her and a friend trying on Jose’s clothes (Bentley is the one on the left):
Ever wonder what Jose carries on him? Well, fortunately Matthews took care to get a photo of that too:
Feel free to check out the rest of the photos here and again more photos of Ms. Matthews from her modeling portfolio, the playing cards are especially classy. I personally am disappointed, I mean, sure, it’s not as though Reyes wife is especially hot, but I expect better from Reyes. If David Wright is scoring Erin Andrews and actual hot models than why CAN’T Jose? Jose is a good-looking dude and I’m saddened by his poor choices. If you’re going to cheat, it had better be worth it, and quite frankly Bentley is anything but; I’d call her more Kia than Bentley.
[The Dirty via Bitten and Bound]
I find the idea of fishing as a sport to be highly inaccurate, maybe if the fish also had a means to catch the people it would be a sport. That said, how often do you go fishing and then have a giant killer whale steal your fish only feet away from you. That’s what happens in this video where some guy comes awfully close to reeling in an approximately 50 pound king salmon only to have it get bitten in half by an orca. Pretty neat! Nature is exciting!
Saw this item in Buster Olney’s blog today and it made me chuckle, so for those of you that don’t read Buster or the Dayton Daily News, here you go…
Kent Mercker, who hasn’t pitched since early June because of a bad back, was handed an envelope in the clubhouse, and he quickly ripped it open, scanned the thick multi-paged letter and tossed it into the trash.
“Talk about a waste of eight pages of paper,” he said. “It was addressed to: ‘All potential free agents.’ ”
Mercker will be a free agent, but as he said, “What kind of market is out there for me?” Then he paused and said, “Well, hey. I’m left-handed, I’m 40 and I’m well-rested.”
Mercker has tried to play long toss and throw off the mound, “But my back is not working.”
Most likely he is headed for retirement and said, “I’m starting my new profession — turning vodka into urine.”
The hazing of baseball rookies continues! At Trevor Hoffman’s request the Padres rookies were dressed in Hooters outfits as part of their annual hazing ritual. It makes sense to me that Hoffman is a big Hooters fan, after all, the wings ARE delicious!
UPDATED TO ADD
The gents over at With Leather found this other fine photo of the Padres posing for photos in their Hooters garb. It’s almost enough to ruin Hooters for America.
The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
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