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20
Oct
09

Train Holds Up Marathon

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , ,

Iowa MarathonSunday’s Des Moines Marathon was going to plan, the leaders were headed to the finish line, they could see it only 400 meters away but they were stopped in their progress. Despite letting the Iowa Interstate Railroad (IIR) authorities know that the race would be crossing the tracks and arranging for no trains to come through, a long freight train was going through no matter what.

“It’s one of those things, when I heard through our communications — what can you do at that time?” Race Director Chris Burch asked.

The eventual winner, Kenyan Simon Sawe said he was shocked to see the freight train, “Nobody is prepared for that scenario,” Sawe told The Des Moines Register. “I couldn’t believe it. It was a long train.”

Because he was forced to wait, Sawe’s lead dwindled and fellow Kenyan David Tuwei was about to catch up. Once the train cleared the two men sprinted to the finish line, with Sawe winning by about 5 seconds. Can you imagine how furious Sawe would (justifiably) have been had he lost the race because of the train?

Mick Burkhart, Iowa Interstate Railroad vice president, apologized via e-mail. He said the railroad was aware of the race and had agreed not to operate in the area during the marathon.

“Due to some miscommunication, a train was allowed into the race area before it was supposed to,” Mick Burkhart of the IIR said. “There is no excuse for this happening.”

[Fox News]

19
Oct
09

They Had a Little Captain in Them

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Football, Hot Women and Random
Tags: , ,

I am HORRIFIED. During the Minnesota/Penn State this past weekend the Penn State football team twitter feed reported a truly SHOCKING story, “From the Centre Daily Times: Security guards confiscated two-thirds of a bottle of Captain Morgan’s from the Minnesota cheerleaders.”

College students DRINKING, AT A FOOTBALL GAME! ACK! What has this country come to, I remember the days when everyone would just go to the malt-shop after the game, have some soda, and then park somewhere and do some uninspired awkward heavy-petting. What happened to THAT America? The one where teens only drank alcohol because the tough kid in the leather jacket spiked the punch bowl as his doofy friends laughingly looked on and kept a look-out.

And to help with the visualization of these alcohol-swilling harlots, via Uncoached comes some photos of the team at an earlier non-plastered phase.

[Sports by Brooks, images from Uncoached]

19
Oct
09

Give an Assist to the Beach Ball

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Categories: Awesome, Random and Soccer
Tags: , , , ,

Sunderland Beach Ball GoalDuring Saturday’s Liverpool/Sunderland match in the English Premier League the Liverpool goalie was powerless to stop a shot from Sunderland’s Darren Bent early in the game.

The goal, which proved to be the difference in the game, was controversial because after Bent shot the ball it ricocheted off  a beach ball that had fallen on the field, before redirecting into the goal. The league officials later said that there should have been a drop-ball after it hit a beach ball en route to the goal.

[Daily Star]

16
Oct
09

How Else Could His Right Arm Get So Muscular?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , ,

Matthas Schlitte22-year-old German Matthas Schlitte has been arm-wrestling competitively since he was 16 and it only takes one look at him to see that he has dedicated himself to being a top arm-wrestler. That’s because Schlitte’s right forearm is MASSIVE, measuring 18 inches, which is a huge contrast to his left arm, which looks puny and tiny in comparison.

Schlitte’s giant right-arm has been successful leading him to first place finishes in several competitions including the Iron Curtain Armwars in Blackburn and the German Championships in Haltern.

Hmm…started at 16, one forearm DRASTICALLY is bigger than the other, what would a 16-year-old be doing so much that he would increase the muscle mass in just his right arm so much…hmm…there has to be something else besides arm-wrestling that led to this girth.

Oh, wait! I got it! Masturbation! Well-played Matthas, I get it, you didn’t want everyone to know how much you were jerking it so you went all out and happened to be good at arm-wrestling too. Hey, it’s not your fault buddy, you were 16 and feeling as these new and exciting feelings, plus that gust of wind hit you in just the right way and you couldn’t help but abuse yourself. Well, at least you’re putting your special purpose to good use. And they say masturbation won’t get you anywhere…

[Daily Mail]

16
Oct
09

My Name is My NAME!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Basketball and Random
Tags: , , , ,

chrisbosh1After nearly 6 months Toronto Rapto Chris Bosh has finally won his suit against a cybersquatting company that had registered the domain “chrisbosh.com” and nearly 800 other athlete’s names.

Luis Zavala and his company Hoopology.com had registered dozens of domains using various NBA players’ names including stars like Deron Williams, Tayshaun Prince, Rashard Lewis, Danny Granger and Maurice Williams using their celebrity to drive traffic and earn advertising dollars, without the players’ permission.

In her final ruling, Judge Florence-Marie Cooper relinquished control of chrisbosh.com to the Raptors star, as well as giving him possession of the nearly 800 other domain names Zavala had registered.

“I am thrilled that I am able to offer the return of these domain names to a host of other athletes and celebrities whose names were cybersquatted,” Bosh said in a statement Wednesday. “I will offer the return of the domain names free of charge.”

B0sh also won $120,000 in April for the violation of his rights under the U.S. Federal Anti-Cybersquatting Consumer Protection Act in a California federal court.

Of course, cybersquatting is totally lame, and Chris Bosh shouldn’t have his name being used without his permission but I’m a bit confused as to why the Judge gave Bosh possession over the other domain names, why not just return them to the proper people. Sure, he SAYS he’s going to return them, but what if he decides he hates Andrea Bargnani and just refuses to give it back?

[Canoe]

16
Oct
09

Winter Olympics to Finally Feature More Swordplay

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Categories: Awesome, Olympics and Random
Tags: , ,

kirpanNormally swords are a bit out of place at the Winter Olympics — although I would pay good money to see the curling teams duke it out on the ice — but at the Vancouver games the Integrated Security Unit announced that Sikhs who are participating in the games will be allowed to wear kirpans — a ceremonial sword considered a sacred religious symbol — around the venues.

Anyone wearing a kirpan will be required to inform security before entering any of the venues, providing they follow these stipulations.

  • All articles — including unshorn hair, turban, comb, steel bracelet, kirpan and soldier’s shorts — of faith must be worn.
  • The maximum total length of the kirpan, including the sheath, may not exceed 19 centimetres with a blade of not more than 10 centimetres and a handle of five centimetres or less.
  • The kirpan must be worn in keeping with Sikh traditions, including being secured into its sheath, attached to a fabric belt and worn across the torso.
  • The kirpan must be worn under clothing and not easily accessible.

If any of the conditions aren’t met security can refuse admission. The change was brought about because a study conducted by the security officials found that there are very few incidents where a kirpan was used as a weapon.

[Calgary Herald]

16
Oct
09

Irish Tenor “I Was Too Stupid With my Mouth.”

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball, Douches and Random
Tags: , , , ,

ronan-tynanAt Yankee Stadium during the 7th inning stretch Irish Tenor Ronan Tynan’s voice comes over the public address system to belt out “God Bless America.” As a means to fuck with the opposing pitcher (and for special occasions) Ronan comes in person and milks the song for about 35 minutes. He was supposed to come in and sing it at tonight’s ALCS game 1 but his silky mouth got him in trouble instead.

While in his apartment building he bumped into a real estate broker showing an apartment on his floor, “Don’t worry they are not Red Sox fans,” the broker told him.
“I don’t care about that, as long as they are not Jewish,” he responded. The pediatrician who was looking at the apartment, Gabrielle Gold-von Simson was astonished and asked, “Why is that?”

According to her, Tynan retorted that other Jewish women had looked at the apartment previously and they were “scary.”

Vodpod videos no longer available.

He of course, claims that he was joking throughout but as Gold-von Simson told NBC – New York, “I didn’t know him at all so how could I take it as a joke.” She did however get one of the weirder apartment hunting experiences ever.

To show that he isn’t anti-Semitic, Tynan pulled out this classic quote: “I’m not anti-Semitic and I have never been in my life. There are three members of my band that are Jewish.  And I love them like brothers.  I call them my brothers from another mother.” So that settles it right?

Even though he’s not anti-Semitic Tynan has apologized and agreed to make a donation to the NYU hospital the good doctor works at and she is willing to accept his gestures, “Absolutely,” she said. “It was a sincere apology.”

“It’s something misfortunate,” Tynan said, “I was too stupid with my mouth.”

[NBC – New York]

15
Oct
09

Target Center Goes Green Thumb

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Basketball and Random
Tags: , ,

sep09-aerial-fullThe Target Center opened in 1990 as the new home for the Minnesota Timberwolves, over the summer it had some renovations done, particularly on the roof. Instead of just leaving the roof as is, it has been made into the 5th largest “green” roof in the nation; it is also the first green roof to be installed on a sports arena. The 2.5 acre roof will be able to gather nearly 1 million gallons of storm water, preventing overflowing in the Mississippi River and damage to the surrounding area.

The other interesting aspect of the roof is that it will serve a second purpose, utility garden. On top of the roof will be a variety of Sedums and Minnesota prairie plants, including Columbine, Prairie Coreopsis, Wild Strawberry, Dotted Blazing-Star, and Lupine. The lupines are intended to attract Karner Blue Butterflies which are endangered and depend on the plant for survival. Not a bad way to take advantage of the space, it reminds me very much of Sim City.

[Target Center]

13
Oct
09

High School Tries to Crack Down on Streaking

By slanch 7 Comments
Categories: Awesome, Douches, Football and Random
Tags: ,

76712007_545afd2372In Minnesota at this past Friday’s St. Francis High School football game, for the third game this season 5 students streaked the field. School officials decided to toughen the penalties for the students as a result, now the students could face suspensions, a ban from school activities or forced transfers or expulsion.

Last month at an away game two of the St. Francis students were arrested after they made their naked run across the field. One of the teens was charged with disorderly conduct and the other may be charged with fifth degree criminal sexual conduct for exposing himself to a minor under the age of 16. A conviction for that would require the teen to register as a sex offender for 10 years. Because, you know, that seems an appropriate punishment for a harmless prank. It’s not like streaking hasn’t been HILARIOUS for as long as crowds have gathered.

I hate prudes. Don’t the school officials recognize that streaking in Minnesota’s frigid temperatures is punishment enough?

[My Fox Twin Cities]

13
Oct
09

Never Let Go Ron, Never Let Go

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Basketball, Pop Culture and Random
Tags: , ,

NBA pain-in-the-ass Ron Artest is a man of diverse talents and interests; for instance, here he is at a random Filipno families home singing My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. While I have ZERO idea how this came about, I do enjoy it. My only complaint is that the girl who can actually really sing (unlike Artest who has a rap album he released in 2006) we never see. Also at no point was anyone knocked out by a punch Artest threw…

13
Oct
09

Deer Wants to Get in on the Pigskin Action

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football, People Hurting Themselves and Random
Tags: , ,

deerThe people of Ohio are mad for football of all levels, there’s a reason the Hall of Fame is in Canton, a place wholly otherwise unworthy of visiting. That level of devotion to the game stretches beyond humans in Wintersville, Ohio where 7-year-old Brandon Hiles chased after a football that rolled into the woods.

Hiles found himself face-to-face with a deer with the ball between them. The buck charged at him, flipping him with its antlers. Fortunately the young lad was only left with some bruises and a gash.

The deer was signed up by the Browns as he already showed more ball skills than any of their players.

[Boston.com]

13
Oct
09

They May Be Old But These Athletes Got Game

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Olympics, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , , ,

Ruth FrithSydney Australia was recently invaded by 28,292 athletes ranging in age from 24-101 to participate in the world’s largest multi-sport event, the World Masters Games. Among the storied competition comes the tale of Ruth Firth, a 100-year-old great-grandmother who took home the gold in shot-putting with the leading toss in her age group.

Her throw went nearly 14 feet making her far and away the leader in the 100-104 age bracket; although to be fair, she was the only competitor. “I only had to turn up to win the medal, but that wasn’t going to be good enough for me,” said Firth. “I had to show everyone that I could still do it.”

Santa ClausWhen a Games official suggested to Firth that her success called for a drink, she replied that she doesn’t smoke or drink, but don’t think she’s some health nut, when asked if it were vegetables that powered her success she responded “Oh goodness no – I haven’t eaten vegetables since I was a kid. I don’t like the taste. Bread, meat, fine, but no vegetables, thank you.” She does however walk every day as well as bench-pressing 80 lbs 5-times a week. Feel lazy yet?

One of the other highlights at the World Masters Games was 90-year-old Olga Kotelka to set a new world-record in shot-put for her age group. Another memorable moment came from the barefooted Australian runner in the men’s age 80-84 100 meter race who goes by the name Santa Claus; Osmo Millridge, another barefooted Australian took charge of the age 70+ men’s  steeplechase.

There was no word on the condom consumption in the athlete’s village…

[Daily Mail]

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