The Slanch Report

You may — or may not — have heard that America is waist-deep in a recession; that we are currently engaged in two wars, neither of which show signs of letting up anytime soon and those are just some of the many issues facing our elected representatives in Congress.

So, with all these big issues on the table, I’m glad to hear that Congressman Bill Brady from Pennsylvania is making strides to fix the things that are truly wrong in this country. Brady has introduced a bill that would ban all Viagra, Cialis, and male sexual enhancement product adds on TV and radio from 6 am to 10 pm. FINALLY!

The reason for this piece of legislation?

I’m watching TV with my two granddaughters and it was a little embarrassing and I think it was bad that they asked me, ‘What is erectile dysfunction?’ And I stumble along and they’re too young to understand it and they’re much too young to learn about the birds and the bees yet….If they’re on a show and you don’t want your kids to see a certain show, you don’t put that show on, but you can’t control when the commercials come on. I think that it’s the wrong place, on a Saturday afternoon and a Sunday afternoon, these shows are dominated [by these commercials].

Brady knows, of course, that this isn’t the most important issue facing the nation right now but at the same time, children are hearing words like “ERECTILE” on TELEVISION!

I’m worried about other things too but we can do more than one thing at a time. It isn’t like Viagra is all I’m worried about. This is another thing that I think will help the family get back together, where you can sit down and watch a TV show or watch a sporting event with your children, with your family on a Sunday afternoon and not have to put up with explaining what a male enhancement is or what is an erectile dysfunction.

Want to explain things to your grandkids? Tell them that the pharmaceutical companies discovered that they could make more money by making adults have more “happy time” rather than providing cures, preventions or vaccinations that the public as a whole needs. Tell them that the profit margin in making Grampa’s boner go “boing” is much better than helping the millions of people who have come to rely on the overly-exorbitant priced prescription pills despite there being the exact same pills for a quarter of the price located just over the Canadian border. Tell the kids its about greed and avarice. They’ll understand that. It’s the American way!

If we didn’t have boner pill ads we wouldn’t hear about Priapism, which I love because it is named after the Greek god Priapus from the myth that he was punished by the other gods for attempting to rape a goddess, by being given a huge, but useless, set of wooden genitals. Now that’s something I can get behind!

[Sports Radio Interviews]