A few weeks ago, distraught about my utter failings so far in fantasy baseball, I wrote a piece entitled “Forget Baseball, I’m Switching to Cricket,” for my good friend Garnold’s fantasy baseball related-site, I Truly Have No Life. It looks like that was a smart decision.
These photos are from a cricket game in Panama, and I’m booking my ticket as I type this…
As the nascent Lingerie Football League gets ready for the inaugural season starting on September 11, the teams need players who can fill out the rosters, as well as bustiers. To that end, teams have been holding open tryouts across the country and thankfully, the local newspapers have made sure to send out many photographers to the events. There’s probably more photogs at these than the Super Bowl, and fiercer competition too. This definitely looks like a league where showing up for the pre-game warm-ups is mandatory for fans.
Anyhoo, after the jump are some of the highlights from the Seattle Mist, Denver Dream and Dallas Desire tryouts, I for one look forward to these competitions. Also, I’d like to volunteer to be the ball, especially at the bottom of a pile-up. For plenty more from these slide shows, click the links below.
[Westword, Dallas Observer, Seattle Weekly]
Continue reading ‘Are You Ready for Some Football and Hopefully Boobs Popping Out?’
When the Celtics announced they were adding a dance team I was saddened, the team didn’t need it, Red would NEVER have wanted it and you know, they’re kinda lame. But, then there are moments that it is a good thing the team has these luscious ladies. For instance, say you wanted to go to medical school and weren’t quite sure what the female form looked like, well, Yahoo Sports (who featured this photo in their recap of game 5) and the Celtics Dancers are here to help, serving the community; the NBA where home gynecology happens.
Yikes. And thank you. And yikes again.
This is the lovely Alison of the Boston Celtics Dance Team, a real estate agent and former New England Patriot Cheerleader who has been involved with 2 Super Bowl champions and of course, the Celtics victory last season. She’s our lucky mascot. And possibly a future ex-Mrs. Slanch.
Now I’m a man who enjoys a bit of whimsy mixed in with his days, and I can always appreciate a bit of good humor; however, I’m not so certain that’s what is going on here.
Meet Sarah, a member of the Washington Capitals’ Red Rockers, the on-ice dance and cheerleading team and she really REALLY liked Pirates of the Caribbean based on her answers on her informational page. For instance, when asked her favorite movie, she says “Pirates of the Caribbean,” so using my investigative skills I determine she likes that movie. Further, when asked two desert island questions, both come back to pirates and piracy (because let’s face it, pirates are hot right now; the Urban Pirate look is going to become big, I guarantee it!):
If you are on a deserted island and could have one song play what would it be and why? Any song from the “Pirates of the Caribbean” soundtrack, because I’d obviously be looking for buried treasure if I were on a deserted island…
If you are on a deserted island and can have one person with you of historical or celebrity status dead or alive who would it be and why? I suppose if I were on a deserted island it would help to have a professional pirate there to help me look for buried treasure. I’d choose Blackbeard.
OK, so, no big deal, she’s just a financial analyst who REALLY likes big budget plot-less marketing movies, nothing too wrong there, maybe it’s a little vapid, but who am I to judge?
Of course, then there is this, when asked her favorite book she replies with “Facebook.” First off, that’s not a book. Second off, I weep for America. Or rather, if I weren’t such a strong-willed masculine piece of manhunk I’d weep; because I am those things instead I eat a hunk of raw meat and put on a muscle tee. But it’s inherently the same concept. Thirdly, there are myriad answers that could be used for that question and she quite simply chose the WORST possible answer. She may have lost the chance to ever sleep with me.
Also, when did hockey ever need cheerleaders?
Joey Strong is a 35 year old mother who volunteers every year at the Holy Name School in Ausable, NY, helping out with the elementary school’s girls basketball team. Her desire to help the community doesn’t stop there though, Strong was recently arrested and is facing charges for allegedly endangering the welfare of a child, first-degree unlawful dealing with a child and of course, felony third-degree rape, all this because she bought some alcohol for four 16 year old boys and then had sex with one of them. Yeah, that kid is MISERABLE right now, won’t ANYONE think of the children?!?
The news of Strong’s arrest was very surprising to her neighbors who featured such money quotes as, “It surprised me,” said Edith Beardsley. That’s some bang-up local reporting WPTZ. (Video of the report here.)
Jean Pulsifer, the principal at Holy Name had this to say in a prepared statement, “The incident for which Mrs. Strong has been accused has nothing to do with her association with Holy Name school. during her time as a volunteer coach no policies were broken or infringed upon.”
The incident in question allegedly occurred on March 30 when Strong met the 4 boys at a Comfort Inn bringing along the Coors Lite, then she got on the love train with one of the teens. Oh what a night.
[WPZT]
Denver Nuggets Dancer Krista has been enjoying her first year as a member of the dance troupe; she joined the group because she loves to dance and be involved with the community. How admirable! She seems like a nice, down-home girl who likes to spend her off-hours with her family, looks up to her mother as her hero and hopes that in 5 years she’ll be spending her future lottery winnings. Me too!
When asked what most people don’t know about her, Krista responded “I speak fluent Canadian.”
Simona Halep is a 17 year old Romanian young woman who is also the current Junior French Open Champion. Her masterful work on the court baits many tennis afficionados into becoming fans of her…work.
I don’t have much to say here, I know at least one reader who will be beside himself at this post…
Via Coed Magazine comes all new photos fresh off Allison Stokke’s facebook page, because you know, that’s the world we live in. In addition, here are some photos from a meet she had recently so you can see the pole vaulting champion in action. OMG, she’s just like us! She takes pictures with awkward white dudes too! She eats! I eat! We’re meant for each other!
I like the glasses…
If you were to walk into David Eckstein’s home in San Diego it wouldn’t be unreasonable to see the 5′ 6″ scrub baseball player and mistake him as an actor on children’s television. Alas, you’d be wrong, it’s actually Eckstein’s super cute wife, Ashley Eckstein who is the star in this household.
Commuting from San Diego to LA, Ashley has recently been recording new episodes of Star Wars: The Clone Wars animated show, for which she voices Ahsoka Tano, a Jedi in-training. Ashley has also been in several That’s So Raven episodes so David should move that World Series MVP award off the mantle for her, after all she has won a much MUCH more valuable prize; Ashley won SILVER on Nickelodeon’s Guts. Now THAT’S scrappy.
I had no idea that this was being considered an actual sport, but last Wednesday, in Santa Monica there was a Power Sliding competition. For those of you who are unfamiliar, power sliding is like skateboarding, only instead of grinding on a rail with a board, you slide down it using just your pants.
Now, maybe I’m just out of touch, but this seems retarded to me.
The competition featured a 40-foot high course with rails, boxes and other items for people to grind on.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of teenagers sliding face first down a rail, I just want more of them to break their faces open doing it…
Although, I am in favor of seeing Kendra Wilkinson (who was one of the judges for the competition) from the absymal Girls Next Door taking a rail like this…
[Examiner and The Frisky]
Up in the Mile High City, the Denver Broncos held cheerleader tryouts, fortunately, the local CBS affiliate was THERE, making sure no one missed anything important. You too can join in the ogling fun!
Figure skating cutie Jessica Dube probably needs to get herself a new pairs partner; during their program at the World Team Trophy event in Tokyo, Dube and her partner Bryce Davison suffered a serious fall and were taken to the hospital. Both were released later in the evening, but this isn’t the first time Dube has had issues with her teammate. In 2007 while doing a routine Davison accidentally cut Dube in her face with his skate, requiring 80 stitches and almost permanently ruining her hotness. Fortunately, she’s a cutie through and through and recovered pretty well. Still, once you slash someone in the face, even accidentally, it’s got to be time to move on. In fact, Jessica, I’d LOVE to do some spins and lifts with you…
Despite their fall, Dube and Davison helped the Canadian team place second overall in the competition which featured each country skating a representative from all four figure skating disciplines: men’s, women’s, pairs and ice dance.
My only concern though is for the safety of Dube, she’s simply too hot to be mishandled.
[National Post]
The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
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