Archive for the 'Douches' Category



26
Oct
09

Peja Spends a Night in Sienna West

New Orleans Hornet Peja Stojakovic is married to Greek model Aleka Kamila, who is, to be blunt, a fucking SMOKESHOW, so it makes perfect sense that while in LA on Friday he met up with Sienna West (right)(link very NSFW), an adult film star who tweeted all about their encounter. Now, I believe in being friendly to new acquaintances and I know things work differently in the adult film world, but when someone tweets:

It doesn’t leave much to imagination does it. Of course, today, Sienna’s twitter account seems to be deleted, despite having posted something as recently as 9 hours ago. Then again, there is also ANOTHER account named “therealwest” that hasn’t been updated since June, so it is possible this is all a scam by some bored twitter-nerd. Regardless, now you have an image of this man’s (left) penis in your brain.

Hey Aleka, if you ever want to get back at him, I’m here for you. We can make magic together.

[Deadspin]

22
Oct
09

Brett Myers Gets Shot Down

Amidst the celebration on the field last night for the Phillies win, the players’ wives and families joined them out on the field. Noted wife-abuser Brett Myers goes in for a celebratory smooch from his wife to get shot down.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

“Don’t kiss me,” she clearly says to him, probably because he smells like cigars and cheap beer, plus he’s an asshole. Eat a dick Myers.

[The Fightins]

22
Oct
09

One Last Thing on Steve Phillips and His Lady-Love

I wish I could take credit for this line, but it comes from commenter Garnold.

brookephillips

Looking at Steve Phillips’ paramour Brooke Hundley all of a sudden Phillips’ talent evaluation “skills” with the Mets make a lot more sense.

21
Oct
09

Steve Phillips Puts the Screw to an ESPN Staffer

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Former Mets GM and current ESPN baseball “analyst” Steve Phillips has been suspended by the WWL after details of an affair he had with a 22-year-old production assistant came out. The young lady, Brooke Hundley, apparently was distraught when Phillips broke things off with her and began calling and texting Phillips’ wife. According to Phillips, Hundley became “obsessive and delusional” after he dumped her, and really how could you not, I mean, he’s STEVE PHILLIPS.

Unfortunately, she has hidden her profile picture on Facebook, but there is always Myspace, and so you can get an idea of what she looks like to the left or by going HERE. Helen of Troy she is not.

NYMETS2KS9Hundley met Phillips while working on a St. Louis Cardinals game on July 13th, “Over a three-week span, I had a total of three sexual encounters with her,” Phillips told police. “Those were the only times I spent any time alone with her.”

Apparently Steve Phillips has some kind of raw animal magnetism, or she has a couple screws loose, because Hundley started harassing Phillips’ wife Marni on August 5th with text messages and phone calls. “The tone of the text message was, ‘I care about Steve, I make him happy, and we both can’t have him,’ ” Marni said.

Brooke HundleyAt the same time Hundley was attempting to contact one of Phillips’ sons through Facebook, posing as a high school friend and then trying to find out information about his parents like if they slept in the same bed, if they were fighting and whether he thought they were going to get divorced. Which makes sense considering her LinkedIn profile claims she has “Extensive knowledge in new and emerging technologies especially in social networks.”

Hundley also came to Phillips’ Connecticut home leaving a letter for Marni and sitting in her car outside the home. When Marni arrived home with her 7-year-old son, Hundley attempted to speed off, slamming into a stone column, damaging the rear end of her car before driving away.

In the letter, Hundley details her affair with Phillips, and mentions “a big birthmark on his crotch . . . and one on his left inner thigh, so you know I’m not being fake.” So now you have that image in your head. Enjoy!

Who knew Steve Phillips had such a pull on the ladies. Of course, this isn’t the first time Li’l Steve has gone where he shouldn’t, while he was GM of the Mets he had to take a brief leave of absence after word of an affair with an employee came out and she sued him for sexual harassment. ESPN has suspended Phillips for a week, which is the most merciful thing to ever happen to baseball fans. Marni meanwhile has filed for divorce and Phillips has already deeded over their home to her.

[NY Post]

20
Oct
09

Track Ochocinco’s Every Movements With Your iPhone

chadjohnsonpicFINALLY! Fans who weren’t satisfied with his exploits on Twitter, UStream and myriad other modern communication services now have ANOTHER way to follow Chad Ochocinco and his exploits — like paying hookers with checks that bounce — his own iPhone app.

Developed with the aid of Bengals backup QB (and brother of starter Carson) Jordan Palmer fans can, for the low price of $4.99 follow everything Ochocinco does, from his tweets, photos and videos to asking advice on dating or whatever. They can also send him their own photos and track where he is each day he’s on the road.

Palmer, who started an iPhone app company somewhat recently considers this app to be their most ambitious yet. He also said that they are in the process of making a similar app for fellow loud-mouth receiver Terrell Owens.

[ESPN]

20
Oct
09

Delaware State Goes to Michigan, Plays One Game, Loses Two

delawarestateThis past Saturday Delaware State traveled to take on Michigan in what quickly became a giant rout. Last spring Michigan offered Delaware State a $550,000 payment to come play, which seemed too good for the Hornets to pass up, despite their already have scheduled a game against North Carolina A&T. When Delaware’s league couldn’t reschedule their game, the school opted to forfeit the game in advance.

The Wolverines then manhandled the Hornets to the tune of 63-6. Ouch. Michigan in total had 727 yards of offense, that’s not just an ass-kicking that’s a full on ass-pummeling.

“Michigan played just like they played on the DVDs,” said Delaware State coach Al Lavan. “… I was not shocked, but I was surprised at how much the domination was.”

So, knowing that his team would be crushed, Lavan agreed to the game, I guess to teach his kids a valuable lesson about character — namely being humiliated is fine so long as you get paid. Although, of course, the players receive NO payment, and only get humiliated, but at least Delaware State got some loot right… right? Guys?

Even worse, because of the forfeit, the Delaware State Hornets rolled into Ann Arbor 1-3, after their inevitable loss, the left town at 1-5 thanks also to their forfeit. Well played gents. I hope the school’s accountants were happy at least.

[SI]

20
Oct
09

Mariano Rivera Loads Up a Spitball

He is the greatest closer in post-season history but during last night’s game against the Angels it appeared that Mariano needed a little something extra. He turns his back from the plate, looks around to see if anyone is paying attention and then BLOOP, he SPITS on the ball. Now I’m not idiotic enough to think that this is the reason for his long history of success, but for this one moment, Mariano CLEARLY is cheating. Of course, the spitball was banned from MLB in 1920, so it’s not like this is something new to Mariano, I mean, he’s old but not THAT old…

Amazingly none of the other 5 umpires on the field noticed anything and while the TV cameras caught it, there was no mention or acknowledgement whatsoever. Astonishing.

Mariano Rivera Spit on Ball3Mariano Rivera Spit on Ball4

What do you think? Is he cheating or just “accidentally” spitting on the ball.

[Halos Heaven]

19
Oct
09

A-Rod Gloms on with Both Hands

A-Rod Grab Ass“Stop running away from me Derek. I know we can make this work.”

h/t to Ben for the photo.

16
Oct
09

Seriously Dude, Rethink Your Life

yankees-tat1

If I ever need to vomit I don’t need to stick my fist down my throat, now I can just look at this picture.

[NYC Barstool Sports]

16
Oct
09

Irish Tenor “I Was Too Stupid With my Mouth.”

ronan-tynanAt Yankee Stadium during the 7th inning stretch Irish Tenor Ronan Tynan’s voice comes over the public address system to belt out “God Bless America.” As a means to fuck with the opposing pitcher (and for special occasions) Ronan comes in person and milks the song for about 35 minutes. He was supposed to come in and sing it at tonight’s ALCS game 1 but his silky mouth got him in trouble instead.

While in his apartment building he bumped into a real estate broker showing an apartment on his floor, “Don’t worry they are not Red Sox fans,” the broker told him.
“I don’t care about that, as long as they are not Jewish,” he responded. The pediatrician who was looking at the apartment, Gabrielle Gold-von Simson was astonished and asked, “Why is that?”

According to her, Tynan retorted that other Jewish women had looked at the apartment previously and they were “scary.”

Vodpod videos no longer available.

He of course, claims that he was joking throughout but as Gold-von Simson told NBC – New York, “I didn’t know him at all so how could I take it as a joke.” She did however get one of the weirder apartment hunting experiences ever.

To show that he isn’t anti-Semitic, Tynan pulled out this classic quote: “I’m not anti-Semitic and I have never been in my life. There are three members of my band that are Jewish.  And I love them like brothers.  I call them my brothers from another mother.” So that settles it right?

Even though he’s not anti-Semitic Tynan has apologized and agreed to make a donation to the NYU hospital the good doctor works at and she is willing to accept his gestures, “Absolutely,” she said. “It was a sincere apology.”

“It’s something misfortunate,” Tynan said, “I was too stupid with my mouth.”

[NBC – New York]

15
Oct
09

Con Man Scams Canadian Hockey-Playing Teens

51479829Probably no crime in Canada is more nefarious than the one Randy Grumbley of Ontario allegedly pulled off; he was arrested Thursday for creating a fake European hockey tournament in France and scamming dozens of Ontario teenagers out of nearly $3,500 each.

Using the alias Frances Poirier, police claim that Grumbley operated a company called Ontario Central Scouting and promised teens ages 16-21 the chance to play in a hockey tournament in Europe where professionals scouts would be in attendance. Police believe Grumbley recruited about 100 victims.

Each person paid approximately $2,800 plus travel costs but when they arrived in Colmar, France to play teams from France, Italy, Switzerland and Germany they instead discovered there was no hockey tournament or opposing teams. Jones!

Well, at least the teens got a fun trip to France right?

[Ottawa Citizen]

13
Oct
09

High School Tries to Crack Down on Streaking

76712007_545afd2372In Minnesota at this past Friday’s St. Francis High School football game, for the third game this season 5 students streaked the field. School officials decided to toughen the penalties for the students as a result, now the students could face suspensions, a ban from school activities or forced transfers or expulsion.

Last month at an away game two of the St. Francis students were arrested after they made their naked run across the field. One of the teens was charged with disorderly conduct and the other may be charged with fifth degree criminal sexual conduct for exposing himself to a minor under the age of 16. A conviction for that would require the teen to register as a sex offender for 10 years. Because, you know, that seems an appropriate punishment for a harmless prank. It’s not like streaking hasn’t been HILARIOUS for as long as crowds have gathered.

I hate prudes. Don’t the school officials recognize that streaking in Minnesota’s frigid temperatures is punishment enough?

[My Fox Twin Cities]




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