Posts Tagged ‘Brooke Hundley

28
Oct
09

A Guest Opinion on L’Affaire Steve Phillips

brooke2Loyal reader and sometime commenter RowdyRoddyPaulper is a man who enjoys an adult beverage every now and again. Regardless, he is hilarious at all times, when he sent me a drunken email about Steve Phillips late last night I just KNEW I had to post it. So, below is the full text of the email, enjoy it as much as I have.

I recently (like yesterday) read up on the whole Steve Phillips/ugly PA story. Let me address a few issues I have that you may or may not have addressed:

1) One article (possibly CNN.com (I’m a drunk-and currently drunk-so I forget things)) said that the Steve Phillips’ “issue” was a symptom of ESPN being a post-grad frathouse. Fine. When I think of ESPN, I think frathouse. But the Steve Phillips situation proves the opposite point. Frathouses like hot girls. Also, hot girls semi-unfortunately like frathouses. Brooke Hundley is a 4 (with makeup…a shitload of makeup). If ESPN were a true working-place frathouse, Brooke Hundley would have never gotten a job there unless her dad is some sort of high-ranking Disney exec. Even still though…

Brooke Hundley was probably hired by a woman who didn’t want her job threatened… which leads me to my next point…

2) WOMEN ARE HIRING PA’s AT ESPN. This is absurd. I’ve worked in TV for a while and have learned that lucky guys and hot women get jobs (entry-level on up). I’ve been unemployed for over a month now and am more than certain my average looks are to blame. I’m not mad at this. Hell, given hiring power, I’d hire the entire Brazzers roster over all those overqualified, eggheaded, coke-snorting (not the fun kind), Ivy League fruitcakes. We can safely say that although ESPN may have long ago been a glorious frathouse, they’ve been eaten alive by Title IX loving, Teva sandal wearing, women. These ladies have pulled one of the most successful coups of all time in my opinion.

3) My third point is in no way affiliated with my first two points. Hypothetical situation: you’re Steve Phillips, you’re married, and your wife isn’t satisfying your many complex man-needs. Where do you go? Instinct says you go to the hottest piece of ass that will let you bone her. Instinct is, in this case, wrong. Hot girls have entitlement issues, low self-esteem, and bodies that you would kill your best friend over. And they WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS. They’ll either tell your wife at a highly inappropriate time and/or wear an adult diaper and drive across many, many states with the intent to harm you. Fortunately for you, Steve Phillips, ugly ladies are generally much less problematic. They’re just happy for attention. They have vaginas and those vaginas are fun. Hot girls have vaginas but they come at a higher price.

Steve Phillips fucked a fat girl because she gave him the things his wife would not. And he thought these things were free. And they usually are when a fat girl is involved. But the fat girl went BAT SHIT CRAZY! This is highly unusual. One can only assume her dad actually is a high ranking Disney exec (hence the entitlement) and my whole argument is ruined. If I were actually employed, this email would’ve been a huge waste of time.

22
Oct
09

One Last Thing on Steve Phillips and His Lady-Love

I wish I could take credit for this line, but it comes from commenter Garnold.

brookephillips

Looking at Steve Phillips’ paramour Brooke Hundley all of a sudden Phillips’ talent evaluation “skills” with the Mets make a lot more sense.

21
Oct
09

Steve Phillips Puts the Screw to an ESPN Staffer

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Former Mets GM and current ESPN baseball “analyst” Steve Phillips has been suspended by the WWL after details of an affair he had with a 22-year-old production assistant came out. The young lady, Brooke Hundley, apparently was distraught when Phillips broke things off with her and began calling and texting Phillips’ wife. According to Phillips, Hundley became “obsessive and delusional” after he dumped her, and really how could you not, I mean, he’s STEVE PHILLIPS.

Unfortunately, she has hidden her profile picture on Facebook, but there is always Myspace, and so you can get an idea of what she looks like to the left or by going HERE. Helen of Troy she is not.

NYMETS2KS9Hundley met Phillips while working on a St. Louis Cardinals game on July 13th, “Over a three-week span, I had a total of three sexual encounters with her,” Phillips told police. “Those were the only times I spent any time alone with her.”

Apparently Steve Phillips has some kind of raw animal magnetism, or she has a couple screws loose, because Hundley started harassing Phillips’ wife Marni on August 5th with text messages and phone calls. “The tone of the text message was, ‘I care about Steve, I make him happy, and we both can’t have him,’ ” Marni said.

Brooke HundleyAt the same time Hundley was attempting to contact one of Phillips’ sons through Facebook, posing as a high school friend and then trying to find out information about his parents like if they slept in the same bed, if they were fighting and whether he thought they were going to get divorced. Which makes sense considering her LinkedIn profile claims she has “Extensive knowledge in new and emerging technologies especially in social networks.”

Hundley also came to Phillips’┬áConnecticut home leaving a letter for Marni and sitting in her car outside the home. When Marni arrived home with her 7-year-old son, Hundley attempted to speed off, slamming into a stone column, damaging the rear end of her car before driving away.

In the letter, Hundley details her affair with Phillips, and mentions “a big birthmark on his crotch . . . and one on his left inner thigh, so you know I’m not being fake.” So now you have that image in your head. Enjoy!

Who knew Steve Phillips had such a pull on the ladies. Of course, this isn’t the first time Li’l Steve has gone where he shouldn’t, while he was GM of the Mets he had to take a brief leave of absence after word of an affair with an employee came out and she sued him for sexual harassment. ESPN has suspended Phillips for a week, which is the most merciful thing to ever happen to baseball fans. Marni meanwhile has filed for divorce and Phillips has already deeded over their home to her.

[NY Post]




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