Posts Tagged ‘Vanilla Ice


The Raptors Must HATE Their Fans

The Toronto Raptors must be trying to drive down their attendance or something, that’s the only reason I can think of for why they would unleash a cruel and unusual punishment on their fanbase. On February 3rd the team will hold “Fan Night” at the Air Canada Centre, innocuous enough, in fact, down right pleasant; but wait, there’s MORE!

The game will be held against the New Jersey Nets!  Yes the same team that currently sits 2-26 and has shown no sign of ever improving. Wow, what a GAME! If that’s not enough to get you into the game, THERE’S MORE!

At halftime, for the fans, as a way to HONOR and APPRECIATE them, the Raptors will unleash VANILLA ICE!


WHY! How much would they have to pay you to go to that game? Hundreds of American dollars right?

Is there some kind of plot where the owner of the Raptors wants to lower attendance in order to relocate to Miami? Otherwise, this just seems especially cruel.

[Last Angry Fan]


Everyone Loves Doppelgangers

We all have a doppelganger somewhere in the world and the danger of the two of you meeting and disrupting the time/space continuum is very real. The worst part is that generally you don’t know whether you, or the other you is the “evil” one. There’s just no way of knowing until you meet, and then of course, black holes are created and universes get sucked into oblivion and no one needs that on their conscience. Well, here are some lookalikes, let’s hope they all never meet one another for our universe’s sake.

If you have any suggestions for future doppelgangers to go here, please send me them here, and I’ll put them up right away!

Take for example, the certain product of a “Twins” like genetic engineering program where Vanilla Ice and former MTV Sports host Dan Cortez’ genetic “material” were combined with a MILF-y mom in order to create Jayson Werth.

In my younger days I used to occasionally watch “Full House,” I did so only for the impeccable writing and comedic talents that were on display. Regardless, the episodes when the Beach Boys would be on were always the best. Commentator Myummers pointed out to me the other night the similarity between now former Mets pitching coach Rick Peterson and Beach Boys bassist Bruce Johnston. You decide for yourself.


Then there is Brent Lillibridge, a star shortstop for the Atlanta Braves AAA team who came up briefly earlier in the season and is likely to become a big-time player at some point in the bigs. Mischa Barton is a Hollywood starlet who loves to puff joints in her car. They also both look like wood elves.

“Good Burger” is a triumph of film making, and Kenan Thompson has gone from Nickelodeon child star to legitimate mainstream “actor,” now entering his 5th season of being generally uninteresting on “Saturday Night Live.” Ryan Howard is an MVP first baseman for the Phillies and an avid Subway sandwiches fan (although I doubt Kenan ever turns down a free sandwich either.) They have never been in the same place at the same time.

Garrett Olson is a pitcher on the Baltimore Orioles, he’s had some ups and downs, one night he is getting his ass handed to him by the Yankees and then the next time he goes 7 dominating innings in the win against the Yankees. Aaron Eckhard is best remembered by me for his tour-de-force in “Deep Blue Sea” the best movie about genetically engineered sharks ever. Brothers?

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December 2022