Because it tickles me so, I’m sharing the latest name for my fantasy baseball team.
I Smell Sexson Candy
Man, I’m clever!
Continue reading ‘Today in 90s Pop Rock’
Archive for the 'Baseball' Category
18
Jul
08
Today in 90s Pop Rock
18
Jul
08
Manny’s Final Straw
I am definitely a Manny Ramirez apologist, I tolerate his antics and stupid actions sometimes because he’s one of the greatest right-handed hitters ever, hell, I practically fellated him 2 months ago. When he got in trouble for pushing the team’s traveling secretary, I thought it was bullshit, petulant and childish, but I wasn’t advocating throwing him off the team or suspending him or anything. I figured, as Terry Francona and Theo Epstein said, that the issue would be handled in-house and that was all I needed to know. Apparently, according to former Boston sportscaster Bob Lobel, Manny ended up receiving a fine in the six figures that went to charity from the team. Good. Totally appropriate and I’m sure it can help some people even if Manny doesn’t learn anything.
Lobel went on in his interview on WEEI sports radio to say that
The thing that most people are forgetting and haven’t talked about is the strikeout in Yankee Stadium. The bat on the shoulder for the three pitches from Mariano Rivera. That was a big [expletive] to the Red Sox after the fine. I’m just telling you … there are things in the front office that are perceived … I’m saying that there is a strong feeling that that [three-pitch strikeout] was the message to the Red Sox and it’s a strong feeling that that’s unacceptable … there’s a feeling that he didn’t give it his all, let’s put it that way … I’m just saying the front office has not forgotten that moment. It’s akin to Nomar sitting on the bench [in a game in which Derek Jeter dove into the stands at Yankee Stadium in 2004]. It’s the same thing. It’s an at bat that resonated very strongly in the front office.
The story of the topless blonde in the Rogers Centre Skydome box just keeps getting better. The 26 year old spoke today with the Ottawa Sun paper, the initial publisher of the photos of her, saying that she thought the windows were tinted and no one would be able to see through them.
“The [bachelor party hosts] told me that no one could see in,” she explained. Looks like that’s the last time she trusts a bachelor party crew. You’d think she’d have done her research and seen what these affairs could be like.
The young woman, who prefers to remain anonymous, is in grad school and works as a “hostess” to help pay for her school costs. I feel like I’ve heard that one before, maybe from every other hooker ever. I mean, not that I have a lot of experience with hookers. Unless paying women to have sex with me is experience. In that case I may need to change my response…
“I am not ashamed of what I do, there’s nothing wrong with this…but not everyone knows I do this,” she said. Unfortunately for her, the Blue Jays do see something wrong with it and, since her photo is out there, it looks like everyone is going to know what she does.
President and CEO of the Blue Jays Paul Godfrey said that her comportment went directly against the strict code of conduct for the erstwhile Skydome.
“It may be legal to walk the streets topless, but not at the Rogers Centre,” said Godfrey. Even T-shirts with offensive messages are not allowed in the stadium, he said. I didn’t know it was legal to walk the streets of Toronto topless, looks like it’s time for an action-packed mardi gras vacation to Toronto! Who’s coming with me, they got socialized medicine, street boobs and polite manners, what more could you need?
17
Jul
08
Heads Up!
Buster Olney wrote once in his column about how maple bats were becoming a problem, then, every other baseball media person started echoing the statement and now apparently the shattering and splintering of maple bats is a concern. The power of media! Anyways, FanIQ decided to take all the controversy and put up a nice little collection of photos of people about to get slammed by a flying bat. Hilarious! Check out the rest of their photos here.
I love this one, especially the little baby reaching for it, you just know she’s about to get clocked.
[FanIQ]
17
Jul
08
Jerry Manuel Gets Grilled
Mets manager Jerry Manuel spoke with CBS 2 in New York the other day, and since local news is so damned schlocky, they needed a nice hook, how about Jerry getting interviewed by his daughter, Natalie, who is working as an intern at CBS this summer (I wonder how she got that job…)
I thought Manuel’s response when asked if the interim title bothered him was great, saying “I really disregard the title. I think even when you have a contract you’re interim.”
Fast forward to about 1:30 to see Manuel’s cute daughter asking her daddy about discipline.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
17
Jul
08
Sad Day For Baseball
First Alyssa Milano announces that she no longer will be dating baseball players–we’re dating now instead–and now this, Hideo Nomo has announced his retirement. It’s like baseball is losing all the great ones.
For Nomo, this technically marks his second retirement, as in order to become the first Japanese pitcher in the US, he had to “retire” from Japanese baseball, thus using a loophole to leave his contract in Japan and come play for the Dodgers. In his first year in the bigs, Nomo won the Rookie of the Year award, led the league in strikeouts and started the All Star game, striking out 3 of the 6 batters he faced. His second season featured his first of two no-hitters, in pre-humidor Colorado no less!
This article from the Onion is simply too perfect to pass up.
“KANSAS CITY—Royals shortstop Tony Peña Jr. expressed his long-held grievances Wednesday concerning the unfairness and injustice involved in not having a base of his own to cover. “It’s not fair. Why does every infielder get a base but me?” said Peña, who has received two warnings from umpires in recent games to stop bringing out his own base to shortstop. “[First baseman Mark] Teahen gets to stand right on his very own base all day. And [catcher John] Buck gets to wear all that cool equipment and hang out by the most important base of them all. I’m stuck in no man’s land, just throwing the ball to everyone else. This sucks.” Second baseman Mark Grudzielanek later met with Peña to discuss a compromise in which both players would stand approximately the same distance from second.”
16
Jul
08
Competition Goes Into Overtime
No, we don’t mean the All Star Game, we’re talking about MUCH more important sporting events, the 647th Kýrkpýnar Oil Wrestling Championships, DUH! This annual Turkish sporting tradition, first held in 1362, found itself needing an overtime period to crown a winner this year. Recep Kara ended up besting Ekrem Yavuz during a 10-minute overtime to win his second championship, all of which was a shocker to me, particularly since I had put all my money on Yavuz. I’m coming for you Ekrem, you ruined my life!
Over the three-day, male wrestlers only, event, over two tons of oil was used to lube up these gladiators. Don’t start your training just yet though, the event is only open to Turkish citizens. Which is totally fine, it’s not as though I WASTED 10 months of my life intensely training for this year’s championships only to find out that I couldn’t participate.
Alex Rodriguez is a very popular man, his teammates love him and would walk through a brick wall to help him. That’s why when he threw a party at Jay-Z’s 40/40 club, none of them showed up.
It’s sad when no one shows up to your party and, according to the NY Post, you are left throwing back shots sitting next to your mommy.
Meanwhile Derek Jeter continues to torture me by dating Minka Kelly, as she came to his party at Marquee. STAY AWAY FROM HER JETER, YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH, LEAVE SOME FOR THE REST OF US!
Sigh. At least Alyssa Milano and I are still dating…
The secret for the American League’s success in the All Star Game has finally been revealed, it’s Ichiro. Or rather it’s his f-bomb laced tirades against the National League in the locker room before the game that inspires his fellow AL’ers to go out and destroy the NL.
“It’s why we win,” David Ortiz admitted.
“If you’ve never seen it, it’s definitely something pretty funny,” Justin Morneau said. “It’s hard to explain, the effect it has on everyone. It’s such a tense environment. Everyone’s a little nervous for the game, and then he comes out. He doesn’t say a whole lot the whole time he’s in there, and all of a sudden, the manager gets done with his speech, and he pops off.”
Ichiro in interviews often prefers to speak through an interpreter, but according to the players, he is highly proficient in English. Continue reading ‘Ichiro is the Key to the AL’s Success’
Alyssa Milano, after meeting me the other day, has decided she is no longer interested in dating professional baseball players saying, “they are grown men playing a little boy’s sport. That makes them childish.”
After having dated pitchers such as Barry Zito, Brad Penny and Carl Pavano, she is content now with her mystery man, a gentleman known only as “David.”
Is it possible I’m dating Alyssa Milano and didn’t even remember?
I have got to lay off the drugs.
Continue reading ‘Sad News for Pitching Rotations Across the Game’
Alex Rodriguez has been through a whirlwind of tabloid gossip the last week or so, with news of his impending divorce, rumored affair with Madonna and of course, last year’s episodes with the manly stripper. So, the NY Post, bastion of hard-hitting journalism had a photographer following A-Rod around and managed to grab these shots of him staring at some rando girl’s butt as she walked in front of him.
I especially love that smile he’s giving her, the Post described it as “A-Rod’s famous smile,” I’d say it’s more lecherous and pervy, but hey, I don’t have a fancy journalism degree so what do I know? To me, it looks more like an “I’m gonna have sex with you and then eat one of your arms while sniffing your high heels” kind of smile, but that’s only a guess…
At least when I smile at women they don’t clutch their bags like they might need to escape in a moment’s notice. They’re usually too busy trying to catch themselves from fainting from how devastatingly handsome I am.
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